Saturday, August 18, 2012

WOW !!!! OMD, OMG, OMIDU !!!!!!!!!! It's Sooooo MFDG On !!!!!!

OMD = Oh My Divine !!!  OMG = u know this one already !!!  OMIDU = Oh My Infinite Divine Universe !!!  and MFDG = Mutha Fukah Dag Gone !!!!  

Wow, what an Extremely Powerful few days I have experienced !!!   On that Tues when I left at 2:22pm, bottom line, was that I knew I did not have a safety net whatsoever !!!  Pure Absolute PBBF !!!!  Pitch Black Blind Faith !!!!!  I purposely left knowing 100% that I would run out $$ and gas !!!  Is that Awesome or What ???  Feeling the Power of My PBBF !!!  Knowing W/O a DOUBT that I will be just fine, that I would be Well Taken Care of !!!!  I knew I was with hand in hand with the Infinite Creator and his Sidekick his Holy Spirit,  I wanted and needed to do it !!   Extremely Extreme !!!!  Not knowing how, what, where, I'll be !!!,   just me and Infinite Divine Universe being Absolute Together guiding me and leading me where I needed to go !!! and I was forcing, flexing, building my PBBF Muscles and Mind !!!    well, my intention was to go to the Cahokia Mounds in Collinsville, IL, well, I did see some kind of mound, I arrived there at around 12 midnight and I quickly noticed that it was in smack in the heart of the Barrio !!!!  Haaa !!!  I thought there wasn't any spanish ghetto's in Southern Illinois !!!!!!!!  I was like WTF ???       I pictured it being in the middle of cornfields and tractors !!!!!  Soo, I did say hi and namaste to my fellow past Ancient Indians and just went !!!  I had the pull and the knowing that I was just supposed to Go !!! to Keep On Moving !!!  Infinite Divine will tell me what exit, offramp, to go, bottom line, I just didn't use the map anymore, I just went till I ran out of gas !!!!   I just went back on 70 West and just kept on going until I ran out of gas !!!!!!   and when I ran out of gas is when I'll know that I'm in the Perfect Divine Spot !!!!  I'm where I'm supposed to be for now!!!!  After I spent the last of my change in gas in IL, I knew I was in Infinite Divine Universe Hands !!!!   and I was not going back !!!   I just on 70 West towards St. Louis, and I couldn't believe this at Freaking All !!!!  well, the highway is right smack accross from Busch Stadium where the St. Luis Cardinals play, and right smack in the middle of me passing the stadium I heard some explosions !!!!  I thought some car had backfired behind me, I looked up and it was Fireworks !!!!  Exploding right above me !!!!!!!  Whoaaaa !!!!!  WOW !!! OMG, OMD, OMIDU !!!!!!    I knew then that this was Absolute Confirmation that I was With Hand-In-Hand with the Infinite Creator who Can, Create, Manefest ANYTHING !!!!!!!!  and I just kept going on 70 West !!!!  I knew what I needed to do when I needed to do it !!!  My instructions were, "as soon as you hit the last red "Gas Empty" gauge, go to the next Rest Stop" and that's where you need to be, Yes, it was very adventurous, not using a map, not knowing when a Rest Stop will be, I just knew that the next Rest Stop was where I needed to be... So, sure enough I soon seen a sign that said, "Rest Stop", 2 miles, Whewwww !!!  Alright !!!!   I was sooo glad to see that sign !!!!  and the smaller sign below said, Next Rest Stop 80 miles !!!    Sooo, I was Sooo Making Sure I didn't miss it !!! and Then !!!!!  I thought I missed !!!!!!!   I was like, Daaaang, it definitely felt like I drove more than 2 miles !!!  and wasn't seeing anything ahead, so I was like hey, maybe I'm supposed to be at someone's farm or barn ???  and just kept cool about it !!!  Hey, Regardless of What Happens !!!!  I knew w/o a shadow of a doubth that I Will Be Just Fine  !!!!   and so, once I felt my Absolute Knowingness that whatever happens, if I run out of gas on the highway, I'll be alright !!  if I landed in a farm !!!  I'll be alright, Whatever Happens I'll be Absolutely Taken Care Of !!!!!  I Absolutely Knew That !!!   I laughed out loud, Adventure Baby !!!!  Now This Is LIFE !!!!!!!!     Not knowing where you're going to end up !!!!!  and once you get there How You're Going to Get Back ????  As soon as I was reassured that all is well, the Exit for the Rest Stop came up and I parked, stretched, banio, and slept, it was an Amazing Day & Night, I knew that this is the spot that I needed to be for my transformation and my metamorphosis.... and So I thanked the Infinite Divine Universe !!!   and I knew that I wasn't coming out of there till Sept. 1, 2012 !!!!   So, I was mentally planning on me being there for over 2 weeks !!!!!  at the rest stop !!!  because, I had about 1-2 miles left in gas and zero $$ !!!  and I did have ample amounts of water, about 14 cans of tuna and 2 cans of sardines in oil..., all of my books, paints, sewing gear, clothes, basically all I have was in the car !!!  I had a Great Night Sleep !!!! 

I woke up Refreshed !!!!  and was curious on the environement where I was going to be for the next 16 days !!!!   So, I walked down the road and it leads to any a much more secluded area, with trees, tables, less or hardly no cars, quieter from the other parking lot, it was downward and there was a huge mound, hill that protected you from the freeway and semi-truck noise.  I Saw this and I said, "YES" !!!!!!!  this is the spot !!!!  Heaven, Seclusion, Peaceful, Nature, Trees, Shade, Tables, grass, and my Secada Chanting Monks !!!!   who was chanting all throughout my stay there !!!! it was Absolutely Amazing !!!!   Well, I immediately drove the car down to the other side of the rest stop and parked my spaceship right in the shade !!!   it was perfect !!!  I was sooo grateful, sooo appreciative, Soooo One with the Infinite !!!  and I had instructions to Read "ACIM" A Course In Miracles that I borrowed from mom, and I was about to give it back to her when I was in town before I left and I was told Nope !!!!  She'll be fine without it, You Must Read A Course In Miracles in it's Entirety during this time you're here !!!  it's a pretty good sized book, like almost 1400 pages, !!!  Hey, I got nothing but, time baby !!!!   I got until the 1st of Sept !!!  16 more days !!!  So, my game plan was to read 100 pages a day until I'm done...So, my 1st day there, I was reading and power napping all day, it was a warm day, perfect for that power alpha omega wave meditation !!!  it was Awesome !!!  underneath the trees, in the shade, had my blanket and pillow, just in heaven !!!  pure heaven !!!  woke up read some more, and it wasn't until the 2nd day, I met this one individual !!!  He noticed me that I was at the same spot, just chillin, relaxing, reading, not worrying about the time, just chillen !!!  Yep, he knew I was living on the Absolute Edge as well... We both met, he is a retired Army Soldier with 26 yrs with the Army, and basically when he came back from overseas "early" wanted to surprise his wife, there was another man living in his home and sleeping with his wife  !!!!  Oh SHIT !!!!!   and it was immediately, Done-Done, he left the situation and wanted to divorce her immediately !!!  So, he packed up his misc. in his SUV and left... and the courts awarded her half of everything including his pension !!!!!   Daaaamn !!!  Hey, All Good, I know, we have to see it in another perspective, as an opportunity to learn, grow, evolve, love, and to forgive....  So, that was his story of why he's sleeping out of his car !!!  Wow !!!  I totally didn't even expect that one coming !!!  what I quickly realized that there is a whole "Other Community" of homelessnes !!!  it's not the "Obvious Homeless", where they smell like rotton funk and fermented piss !!! knatted up hair, dirty holey jeans, wearing heavy ass jackets in 100 degree weather !!! Oh yeah, we all seen them before and experienced their "Funk Phonomena" !!!! (old school dance song lyric")  the New Homeless is You and I !!!  See, what is homelesses anyway ???   What makes it a Home anyway ???   basically all you're doing in a house is
  1.  Sleeping
  2. Going to Bathroom
  3. Showering
  4. Eating
  5. Relaxing/Chilling Out/ Watching News and Cable TV ??
I don't know why or where I'm going with all of this homelessness anyway !!! I'm just writing with the flow right now... I guess what I'm trying to say and that I noticed is that the "New Homeless" is not the same, "Homeless" of what we think of or imagine of being anymore.  A new evolved being who wants to be absolute free !!!! is what I'm noticing the Homeless To Be.     Got sick and tired of what society tells them they should be, taking absolute control of their life, starting over from scratch, starting a new life, getting a whole new environment, able to grow, learn and evolve your Mind, Body and Spirit !!!!   See, where else can you spend 14 hrs reading and napping, 16 hrs working out your body, mind and spirit ???  How else and where ???  soaking up the Powerful Knowledge of Infinite Divine Universe ???  You cannot !!!  How else can you be working out for 12+ hours, resting, relaxing, rejuvenating, swimming, playing basketball, in the jacuzzi or the jet stream pool ????  How else are you going to be the Absolute TRUE YOU !!! ????  when you're spending 3/4 of your time just on bullshit !!!!!    Wow !!! can't believe I'm writing this !!!  Ideas and words are just coming "Divine Hand Writing" btw, See, what we think is important, Isn't ..... and what we think it's not important, Is !!!  Mind, Body, Spirit !!!  

I just had the Idea, of a Very Very Special, Unique, Hardcore, Special Forces / Recon type of  team from Infinite God Himself like the "President's Own" type of Spiritual Warrior, Divine Warriors of the Universe, Divinitus Warrious Universalis !!!!  where we all of the same, that we choose to make ourselves part of God the Infinite Creator, when I was reading ACIM, it said, that We Are a Part of the Creator !!!!  and that we have Power that the Holy Spirit is Within Us and We Can Do, Be, Have, Anything in the Entire Universe and we have the Power to Create "Miracles" !!!!!  As long if it's For the "Sonship" !!!!    I'm only 200 pages into the ACIM now, but, as of now, this is what I know.  Sonship, is "Everyone", Every being that has been created by Infinite God !!!  To remind the Sons and Daughters of their True Father Infinite Divine Creator-the Master of Master Artist !!! who thought, molded and loved you !!!  Wow !!! I think I got something here!!!   Infinite God Divine Creator and His Holy Spirit is using me to create Divine Warriors of the Universe !!! Where we went and still continue to go to the Absolute Extreme !!!!  where we live by PBBF !!!!  Pitch Black Blind Faith !!!! and we continue to "Be The Example" to change the world !!!! Spending 16 hrs a day on Mind, Body and Spirit !!!!  Wow !!!  to be surround by Infinite Divine Warriors 24 hrs give or take an hr or 2,3,4, or whatever time you need for you and Infinite Divine Master Creator.  We'll be using God's Holy Spirit to Lead, Guide us , wow's it 11:11am now !!!  while I'm writing here, Miracles will become the Norm !!!!  Wow !!!  to create an Infinite Divine's Own ??  Universe's Own???  help me baby !!! We're all a part of each other !!!  So, I could sence your hesitation on me finding out who you are... ??  All In PDT !!!  I Say !!!  Perfect Divine Timing !!!!    hey, if you're still reading this !!!  I know there might me some nudging on your shoulder, you're part of the Sonship too !!! 

What I see is "Universe's Own", who released everything that no longer serves him/her, who made the Whole Universe Their Home, ( I was saying that to the whole sky just now, The Whole World is My Home !!!!  the Whole Universe is My Home !!!!  I'm the Absolute Truest Form of Free !!!!!  I can go anywhere anytime in the Whole Universe !!!!  I'm not bound to any cell earth particle where we have the whole Universe to Explore and Be a Part Of  !!!  Where we help, push, be accountible, for, in our Metamorphoisis of our own Mind, Body and Spirit, Grow Upward and Outward, to become what we always wanted, needed, and what Infinite Divine God Creator wants you to become... God Wants You to Become Your Absolute Truest YOU !!!!   Not what others, family, friends, percieve or think you do or you are, but YOU !!!!  this is the calling !!!!  to the ones who wants to be the Infinite Divine Warrior of the Universe !!!  to Actualize !!!!!!  this time !!!!!!   I'm sure you're a lot like me, I've done and tried it ALL !!!!!!   This is the Time !!!!   to ACTUALIZE !!!!!!   the Absolute True You !!!   be willing and able to release Everything that no longer serves you ????   Society, friends, family, spouse, fiance are definitely not going to cheer you on !!! I could just about guarantee that your immediate Environment, family, "friends", peers, anyone who is in your immediate everyday environment will back lash at you !!! WTF !!!  What are you going to do ????  what about this, that and the other, Haaaa, you know what?? , Source is telling, for me not to worry about it, They Will KNOW if We're talking about them, they Will Absolutely w/o a shadow of a doubth that this is where they need to be and need to go... ok, hey, that was quick !!!  thanks IDU !!!!  here I was using the "human physical logical" side to explain what might happen if you change !!!  I know now, that the Universe's Own will w/o a doubt we're talking about them, there will be zero question.

I have yet to tell the whole story, I just kept on writing and this is what I got, Awesome Hunh ????  Yeahhh Baby !!!  well, in case you're sensing I'm back !!!  the 3rd day, I had the urge to Do Something !!!  that I just can't be stable at one spot for 14 days !!!!!  I have to try to go, get out, get gas, get $$, something !!! I have 14 days to spend !!! and I knew it was just more than Reading a 100 pages a day, I needed some Actual Real Hardcore, Extreme, Life Experience !!!!    You can't get any Extreme than that???, spending All your money on gas and then drive till you run out of gas !!!!  well, I was mentally planning on staying at the Rest Stop for 16 days, but the 3rd night, I couldn't sleep, I have to do something, I just can't sit and wait for it to happen, especially just reading the ACIM book all day and night, I was Inspired, Motivated and Ready to Use My Knowledge and that Whatever I Decide God Is Right Beside !!!! I love it !!! it just came to me just right now !!!  Wow !!!  Inspired Divine Thought !!!  Thank You !!! and it's Sooo True !!!   Seems like today I'm just going to keep on writing here !!!  Oh yeah, I found the Bloggie !!!  I read in the ACIM, that Nothing is Ever Lost, you just forgot where you left it !!!!!  I love my life !!! Sooo much !!! I'm not even keeping track of time here... sheeeese !! I'm just going all over the place !!! I have sooo much to talk about and to share about !!!  where to start ?? ok, let's finish up with the Rest Stop !!  I was at the Wright City, MO Westbound I-70 Rest Stop, and I just had the urge to do, go, move, do mutha fukin somethin !!!!  I was planning on selling my "stuff" at the gas station, in the parking lot !!  my shirts, books, shoes !!???  Somethin !!  then the Retired Army Steve told me that I should call Illinois Travelers Aid, I did, got a wrong number, then I called the Missouri IDOT Emergency Hotline, told her the situation, outa gas and outa money, been at the rest stop for 3 days !!  trying to go back to Chicago.... they said they would get back to me, I was contacted about 20 min later, the MO Highway Patrol called me and asked what's the situation, I told him the deal and what happened, I went on a road trip and I ran out gas and money trying to get back home to Chicago, I said, DuPage County, then the officer on the phone, said, "I have a nephew that goes to college over there ??  I said, " College of DuPage??" he said, yeah, he's on the basketball team, and I told him Wow !! I graduated from COD !!!   basically we had an instant connection!!  and he told me that they Gas Vouchers that he's going to relay it to one of the Patrol Officers to give me them..."  I said, great !! Thank You !!!  and said our goodbye's... // I saw the patroling officer drive in the front parking lot and I waved her down... over here !!!  talked with the officer and told her what the situation is, and she went back to her patrol car and was on the phone for a while..... she was talking with the Salvation Army and I guess her superiors and they came to the conclusion that I didn't "qualify" for the Gas Vouchers !!!!  I said, "Say Wha !!!?????"  She told me that it had to be a "Disaster Event", Death, Tornado, a Natural Disaster of Some Sort, with Death and Absolute Destruction !! and since this was my own fault I could recieve the Gas Vouchers !!!  I was like ok ?? Alright ??  No Biggie !!!  I'll just stay here for another 14 days that's all !!!!  hey, as long as you know that I'm here gas-less and moneyless I'll be alright, don't be hassling me now you-here???    don't be knocking on my window distubing my REM Sleep at 3 o'clock in the morning now, just wanting to check my ID and Registion!! ok ???  Well, I was saying that mentally !!!!  haaa, I just letting roll off of me !!!  like water on a duck's back !!!!   ok, Plan B, T'Shirts 5 Bucks !!!!  get your Fresh Clean Cool T-Shirts 5 Bucks !!!  Ran Outa Gas & Ran Outa Money !!!!   Just Trying To Get Back Home !!!!  that was my Plan B !!!  I knew I had to do something to Move !!!!!   to get the Ball Moving a lil bit...

So, as a last ditch effort I notice a guy spraying and wiping down the tables and I asked him if he knew anything or anyone who would know about getting some Help... Gas Help.... I guess he had people come up to him selling cd's and tapes, because that's what his first words that came out.... there was about 2 minutes of "Not Knowing WTF we were talking about" !!!  Haaa, I was like ??  mentally (what in the heeeell are we talking about ???)  then he said, CD's or Tapes Classic Rock !!!  ohhhhh we're talking about CD's Music Tapes !!! I got it now !!!  Well, I showed him some of my cd's and I told him that there was no Classic Rock CD's or Tapes, I have only meditations, success, inspiring cd's, spiritual cd's, he declined !!! and then I popped open the trunk, and started showing him what I had !!!  I showed him a very nice Starbucks Coffee Mug, the double lined with air, where it stays hot all day !!!  I was excited about that, so I got out some more stuff, 2 ratchet tie downs, 2 2ton jacks, I think that was it, we were going back n forth about the price... he knew I was in a bind and wanted to help but, at the same time wanted a deal too !!!   C'mon Brotha Man !!!!  I need to get back to Chgo !!!!  so we eventually we agreed on $20, before he said, "I only have $15" I didn't budge, he kept looking in his wallet counting his one's, then he said, "Oh.... there's $20 !!"  I said, Ahhhh Hunhhhh !!!  yep, you sure did !!!   so I put all the items in a plastic bag and made the mutual transaction.... he was happy and I was happy....  Sweet !!!!  Me and Infinite Divine Universe aka God We're In This Together !!! That's what I was learning and reading about in ACIM !!!  that we're a Team !!!!  I then saw him later and he told me that was written up for his communication with me !!!  I was like What ??? !!!!  His' boss is a very young woman, I apologized for it,  and then he was saying that he can't stand working with her, that he's going to have to work nights, even though he won't like, it's better than working with her.  I felt sooo bad for that... .and then we chatted for a lil bit, when his boss left, he told me that she told him that she might dock 1 hrs pay from his hrs !!!  I was like what !!!  yeah, it was tough not seeing her as her Divine Being She Is or Was !!!  then he told me that eventually this was bound to happen, he told me that was planning on leaving this job and that he's not happy being her working with her, I told him, something better is on they way brother Randy !!!  that's his name Randy !!! Short, male, salt n pepper pony tail in 3 rubber bands, with a hat and a Flourecent Yellow Shirt and Vest, with glasses, I'm guessing late 40's or early 50's, thus the "Classic Rock" cd's or tapes !!! Old school baby !!!  Proud Old School Right There !!!  Randy didn't just say CD's He Said, "Cd's OR TAPES !!!!!"    I knew in the end Holy Spirit was using me & my situation to lead & guide him, we both said, that this was eventually going to happen where Enough was Enough !!!  I think when he was told that she's (his boss) was going to try to dock an hour from his hours, that was the final straw for Randy !!!   Fuck That !!! if I had a fuckin boss like that !!! Fuuuuck Thaaat !!!!  Randy was Only Chatting and Trying to Help out a fellow human being !! a Brother !!!!! in a time of absolute need and financial dire straights !!!  See, it's Amazing How God and His Holy Spirit Leads, Guides, Uses, You for the Greater Good !!!!    I totally believe that this was a turning point in Randy's Life as well... To not put up with this anymore !!!    I said a Prayer for Randy !!! it was ALL RANDY that Really Came to Me as a Miracle !!!!  and with Steve !!!  Retired Army, we gave me 2 gall of gas and his girlfriend who brought a Feast of a Picnic !!!!  Ice Cold Diet Cokes oh yeah !!!!  it was Absolutely Amazing !!!  Delicious salad, turkey sandwiches, steak tacos, bananna nut pound loaf, OMG, OMD !!!!  See !!!   Incredible and Amazing Things Happen When You Have PBBF !!!!!!  

Steve and Randy was my Miracles !!!!!!!   and Peggy !!! his girlfriend !!!  Steve was showing the ropes on living out of my car, I needed to get a screen from Home Depot and some magnets from Walmart $10 total to have your windows all the down that will keep away the mosquitos and flies !!!  Steve's SUV !!!!  I'm not kidding, is Freaking Empty !!!!!     I was like where's all your shit ???  I only have what I absolutely need !!! Wow !!!  it looked like a brand new SUV !!!  uses a rolled up sweater as a pillow, 1 pair of gym shoes and a pair of sandles, I was in shock that he hardly had anything and yet he was living comfortably and "Not Looking The Part" of living out of your car look !!!   sort of like my "look" !!! it was super bad !!!!  when I had to move out of the storage unit !!! I took a picture of it !!!  yep, I had Ehhh-Verrrr-Eeee-Thing inside and on top of the Saturn !!!! Sooo, now, I was definitely Inspired and New that I still had to Fine Tune my car and my stuff !!!!   it was great connecting with Steve !!!  we would keep each other company, tells me his routine, his knowledge on living life on the edge of adventure !!!! during the winters he goes to Luissaina well, I tried to sound it out !!  you know what I'm trying to say !!! he goes down the to some Shrimp Town to work for the Shrimpers for cash !!!  He absolutely loves being on the road and being Free !!!!   Wow !!!  26 yr veteran in the Army with 3 Purple Hearts Saying That !!!!   He is FREE !!! he gets about a grand and a half or so for life !!!  and he's got a lady out in town, he told me if I saw him with his "other' lady friend !!!!???  nope !!!  brother man's a Pimp Status Freedom Driver !!!  and this is how I was able to come back !!!  with the use of Steve's GF gas can, his contribution to fill up the 2 gal gas can, driving back the rest stop to Give me the gas, the loose change that Steve found in his SUV because his GF told him that his SUV was Nasty and that he needed to clean out the stains and misc. dirt, (Steve said, it was from his grandschildren when he let his son use his SUV) I believe him !!  and he showed me the stains, honestly it looked like a brand new SUV !!!!   it was Clean, shiny, nothing inside !!! barely... nothing obvious nor advertising that you live out of you car look !!!!  yep, we know the look !!!  I know I need to Fine Tune !!  most likely I'm going to give away to nephs and brother and to try to sell it at Plato's Closet.... oh yeah, it was Steve, Steve's GF, Randy, and Plato's Closet that helped me get back to DuPage County IL..... after the Homemade Feast from Steve's GF, I knew it was time for me to go, my Time is Done Here !!!  I Forever Thanked Steve, for the Knowledge, Spare Change and the 2 gal of gas, and the companionship and conversation we had during my stay, Thanked Steve's GF for the wonderful homemade feast, with the ice cold canned diet Coke !!!  and I was off !!!  took the back "Wrong" exit out, there was a gravel road path for the maintenance crew that leads out back to the "Frontage Road" leading to the gas station, closest, and I wouldn't have to drive 4 miles West to make a UTurn back !! Every mile counted !!! 

Got my gas !!!  cashed in all the change, it was about $23 and some change worth of gas, and I was on my way !!!   got better directions through Steve to go around St. Louis So, I went 70 E, 370 E, then 270 E and then 55 N to Chicago... while I was on 55 North, I knew I wasn't going to make it all the way !!!  Sooo, Holy Spirit says, Hey, Try Plato's Closet !!!  So, when I had to go to the banio at the next rest stop, I called up 411, and asked them if there was a Plato's Closet in Springfield, IL, There Was !!!! YESSSS !!!  I made sure I got the number too !!! just to confirm it's still open and the directions from 55 ...

I brought my whole "Cool" work out shirts and a pair of my "Ancient Chinese" Converse Chuck Taylors, which I had many compliments... there was a few scuff marks but, I just put them in the bag... when up to Plato's Closet chatted it up with the employees there, and wanted to Hype up the clothes a lil bit !!!  they took 2 shirts and the Chuck Taylor's !!!  for about $9.60 hey, I was hoping for about at least $20 worth of clothing but, $9 is good  !!!   so, got the $9.60 and went to get some gas down the street, I had some extra change, and so I had $10.06 to pay for gas and paid the lady, the gas nozzle stopped at $10 even... I said, Wha ???  I have 6 cents left baby !!! ??? C'mon Now !!!  so I went back to the lady and told her what happened to that 6 cents ???  she said, you still want that 6 cents in gas ?? I said, hell yeahhh, every cent counts, I'm trying to get back to Chicago !!!  she told me, "You Ain't Going to Chicago with only $10", I just said, Bye and Thank You and was laughing the way to the gas nozzle to get ready to pump 6 cents worth of gas !!!  I was ready baby !!! I had the handle in one hand and the hose in the other, I was raising up the hose going up n down maximizing the flow of gas of 6 cents !!! I was laughing sooo hard !!! I had fun with it !!!!   ok, let's roll baby !!!  during my drive to DuPage  County I even rolled up the windows so I could have better Wind Resistance !!!!  I only had barely a crack open for some air !!!  WithOut !!! AC !!! So, my ass was sweating inside, like a moving sauna !!!  it was a hot, warm  too, day !!!  90's maybe ??  Yeah !!!  I went as far as that !!!!!  I knew I was going to make it back !!!!!  Note, I haven't showered in maybe 5-6 days ?? it was hot, humid = sweaty, caked on funkness, being trapped at a rest stop !!  Sooo, coming back on a Friday evening on my favorite Pads Site !!!!  OMG !!!  I was soooo looking forward for that shower !!!!  I was just envisioning the whole thing, coming into a well AC place, getting another Feast of a meal, with hot coffee, deserts and a movie, a Cool, Chilled, Shower !!!  My face was still radiating from the sun a lil bit, and it felt absolutely amazing !!!!   good perfect pressure on the shower nozzle !!!  having my beard nice and lathered up and conditioned, having my whole body scrubbed and clean and refreshed !!!!  It was Absolutely Heaven !!!!   Thank You !!!  wow !!  to then where brand new boxers and a brand new clean white t-shirt !!!!   I was Pure  Bliss !!!  While everyone was eating I was still satisfied with the feast I had ealier, so the food portion wasn't a priority, the Shower Was !!!!    I just envisioned me getting to the side, walking right into the showers, (usually there's a long list) but, since I got there write in the middle of Dinner, no one was in the showers !!!  So I walked right in, got out, had some bbq chicken, salad, devil'd eggs then had some Italian Ice !!!  first time I had that !! it was good !!! I prefer ice cream !!! but, New is always good for me  !!!  and had some delicious homemade deserts while I had cold whole milk and coffee while watching a good movie !!!!!  Now, is this Heaven On Earth or What ???????    I was just closing my eyes in full absolute appreciation !!!!!  Thank You !!  Thank you, Thank you, I made it, I made it, I made it, !!!!!  Wow !!!! I had the best night sleep ever !!!! last night !!!  mmmmmmm !!!  AC was on, had some fleece covers to keep you warm, had a nice fluffy pillow, my ear plugs !!! note there's about 50 or more men that I'm sleeping next to or nearby and we do have some serious "Purrers"(snorers).... I was knocked out within about 15 min !!!  Bam !!!  Lights Out For Me !!!!

See, I've noticed that times that seems I'm not doing well (from the outward perspective) was the most growing times in my entire life !!!!  Wow !!!   I'm going to try to list them here:
  1. 1990 living in mom's apartment complex garage Roseville, CA
  2. 1995 living in sister's house garage where she parks her car !!! Mundelein, IL
    1. then sleeping in Suziki Samuri and in parks during the day while working Security at nights,
  3. 1998-2000, After I quit Hewitt Associates, took out all of my Retirement Funds and went to do Equinox International Full-Time and made Director-2 weeks later the Company Closed !!!!  then I was literally released everything, and was in Lake County Pads (Homeless Shelter). It was here that I knew that I could go through Anything and Be Absolutely Fine !!!!  Holy Spirit was whisperring "Join the Marine Corps".... and I was accepted to apply !!! type deal, I was qualified to be accepted !!!  for Marine  Corps Boot Camp in San Diego !!!
  4. Feb.2000, Marine Corps Boot Camp, 2 months in Pork Chop Platoon and 3 Months of Real Marine Corps Training !!!   5 Months of Boot Camp !!!!!   1st Ones into Pakistan in Oct, 2001 and in Afghanistan on my Birthday Nov, 25th, 2001, Camp Rhino Afghanistan, Marine Corps Base Camp, had a real live fire missions with our 60mm mortars. Recieved numerous awards and medals.
  5. 2011 Summer & 2012 Summer Now DuPage County Pads (after releasing job and immediate environment that was no longer serving me).
    1. 2011 after realizing that the Holy BA Grail was just BS and a Myth !!!!  I was still doing shit work and refused to do what I absolutely had a passion for !!!!! I released my temp job and my immediate environment and was first time with DuPage Pads,  it was during this time I was getting  in shape, working out and doing what I love and was having the best time of my life !!!  I was working out 10am-6pm and then eating and sleeping at night, I was a professional getting in shaper,  then I think it was about this time last year that while I was playing bags (my favorite game) I was asked if I wanted to work that night !!  as a bouncer / doorman etc.... and shit, I was living the life of a king, shit, why not a part-time job ???  so I was working at the Lodge at 4 Lakes, Lisle, IL late Aug 2011 to June 28th 2012 Every Fri, Sat and Sun !!!!  I had the Time of My Life Working There !!!! and Yes, it's the Secret Gem in DuPage County possibly the whole IL or even the World !!!!!   No Joke brotha !!!  Volleyball Courts, Ski Hill, Lodge, Pub, Bar, Dancing, Alcohol, Hot Chicks in Bikinis, pool patio, pool party's, pool party's with hot chicks playing bags with Awesome Dance Music !!!!   Brotha Man !!! Brotha Man !!!! I was having the Time of My Life !!!  plus I was In Shape !!!  Daaaamn, I Had a Very Masculine and Beautiful Body !!! Buffed Out,  lean and cut !!!! OH Snappp !!!!! Let's just say, I was loving and living life to the Absolute Fullest !!!!!!   I love the human species espeically the female human species !!!! I appreciate it All the Creations of the Infinite Divine Creator Almighty !!!!!   Wow !! I think I went a lil bit overboard on this... hey, it's all good !!!  We all been there !!!! 
    2. 2012, after releasing Lodge job and immediate enviornment, Really Wanting a Change, a Transformation and a Total Human Metamorphosis !!!!!  I've had it with the Old Self !!! Had it with the Environment and Beings that are not of my Best Interest and not for my Highest Good....    and by now I know a lil bit more about myself !!!  that with me, Environment Is The Holy Grail For Me !!!!  Everything !!!  People, Friends, Family, Work, Co-Workers, Place, Business, the Whole EVERYTHING !!!!  I wanted a Whole Everything Transplant !!!!!  Where Everything and Everyone Is Not Only New but, Is OF For My Highest Good, To Help Better Myself, that will help better myself !!!!   I want to be Healthy, Mind, Body and Spirit !!!  I want to be a Divine Warrior of the Universe !!!!   What Infinite Divine Master Creator Had In Mind When He Created Us !!!!    his Sons and Daughters !!!!  
My realization that I needed out was with two things, well, it was sort of like behind the scenes of right before the volcano erupts in all it's Power and Glory !!!  key events was when I had brought home some salad stuff, spinach, lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, etc... and roommate  said, "You know, there is no nutrients in that, you're just eating water with no nutritional value, you're wasting your money buying that"...  I sooo played this off, because he had the power of me renting his extra room in his condo, I said, something like, " you're funny Eric !!! oops, said his name !!! sorry brotha !!!  hey, I know for a fact you won't be reading this !! All good brotha !!  I still love you brotha !!!  not only with the salad deal, but, with the working out,
"what's the point of that ???  you're still going to eat back the calories you burn !!!" See, Shit like that !!!!  I Know I was in the WRONG PLACE WITH the WRONG ROOMMATE!!!!  I also know that with Me ??? I tend to Learn the Wrong Way !!!!!???  YOU TOO ??? I Give Him/Her the benefit of the doubt, My Instict was No !!!  Don't be roommates, do something, say something, but don't move in with him...  but, winter was coming, and Chicago winters tend to be a lil bit chilly, nippy and snowy !!!  and told myself just for the winter and then I'm out... note that I was working at the Lodge PT, having the time of my life, but, it was slowly affecting me, dealing with the drunks, getting hassled for the cover charges, breaking up fights, having drunks offering me and basically forcing me to drink, well, I take that back, not forcing me !!! Buuuuut, I know me, if it's right there in your face !!!   shot ready in hand, here Oscar let's do a shot, Yeah, this is what I'm talking about my environment.... Then it got to the Point 'Where I was Done-Done  !!! I couldn't nor I wanted to do my job there anymore, I didn't want to socialize nor be seen (means I would have to come up to them and say hi) it wasn't that I didn't want to talk to them, I was just done with the Whole Alcohol Scene & Environment !!!  oh brother I could go on and on and on !!!  The Universe was screaming Get Out-Get Out Now !!!!  You Must Do What Makes You Absolute Joyous and Happy !!! and that was of my Artwork and being a part of the Spiritual Community that was in, Fri, Oneness Meditation, Give Peace  a Dance, Kirtans, Divine Dancing,  Chi Ka Go, Synthesis, Bodhi Spiritual Center, I needed to get back to the Source !!!!!  and to Focus Strictly Only on ME !!!!!!  Me Myself and I !!!!   I found myself Unhappy & Overweight !!!!!   and since June 28th, 2012 was the last day of the Lodge and July 15, 2012 was the last day with roommate, I know I might of said this in an early post, As soon as I closed my roommates door for the last time, "WE BOTH" said (both meaning me and Holy Spirit), "Chapter is Officially Closed right as soon as the door closed and latched and locked.... it was a sense of Relief and Appreciation that I'm Back On Track Now !!!!  That my surroundings, people, friends, family the whole Shabang Environement is Absolute Key that will make or break my transformation and my metamorphosis !!!! 

Haaa, just remember the night where E's (roommate) and his friend "Beagle" well, I do know Beagle and do consider a friend but, he's been a friend longer with E... anyways, they come boligerant drunk !!!  Loud, obnoxious, I was awoken up, and just layed down looking at the ceiling, fuck, this is sooo not worth it.... Then I got a knock on the door, since I was already up, I actually answered and E told me for me to take a look at Beagle, to see whether or not he should go to the hospital, I went to the kitchen area, Beagle was at the sink, standing up, his long ass hair covering his sides of the face, as soon as he looked at me, I immediately said, "Where's the Keys' we're going Now !!!"  Beagle's Left Eyeball Was BLACK !!!!!  and there is a half inch of of forehead skin flapping up and down, I saw red skullish flesh, while blood is just pouring down his face !!!!   I'm alright, I'm alright, All I need is Ice !!! where's your Ice ???  Dude, we're going now !!!  I was the only sober one there !!! So, I went to put my jeans on, and by the time I was ready, Beagle Left The Building !!!!!   Not Only did he left the building he left the area, we couldn't find him !!!! it was a chilly night and we thought he was going to try to walk home, he lives about 5-7 miles !!!  Me and E was looking for him for about 15 min going up n down the parking lot, checking the lake area, going back to the Lodge area, we were this close of calling the police to help find him to let them know what had happened !!!!  I said, let's check your place one last time and sure enough he was there on the balcony !!!  Beagle !!!!  let's go !!!  Beagle was insistant that I take him home, note Beagle was Drunk Drunk, sooo, he'd say Take Me Home, NO HOSPITAL !!!  then I say, ok-ok-.... Home, Home.... yeahhh, no way in hell he's going home, being dead in the morning, not on my watch !!!!  So we finally got him in the front passenger seat, oh brother, this was scary as hell.... Once Beagle knew that we were going the the wrong way and on the way to the hospital, he was trying to get out of the SUV while going around 40 mph !!!!!   I had one hand on the steering and the other hand on the door locking buttons, making sure he doesn't get out, I was trying to open the door, up n down, up n down, !!!!  I was going through Red Lights !!!  I said, "Where are the Cops when you need them !!!"  I was speeding and running red lights left and right !!!!   Whewww, we finally made it to the Emergency Entrance !!!!  as soon as it went in park, I just sat there, with a Huge Ass Relief Sigh !!!!!!  Whewwwwwwwww !!!!!  We made it !!!    I knew everything will be alright !!!!!  then E, escorted Beagle to front Emergency Desk, and Basically Scared the Living Day & Night Lights Out of that Nurse !!!!!!    Oh shit !!! E' told me that it was the most Funniest Thing He'd Ever Seen in his life !!!!   a living Human Sasquatch (his hair is like 3ft+ long!!  with a bout an inch of square patch L shaped skin, dangling and flapping up n down, with forhead skull visable, blood oozing down... Yeah !!!!  that was a night to remember and to not have happen again !!!!!   ok, it's 3:19pm now, been writing here for a while, going to publish this post already !!!! 

Whewww. ... break time !!!!   BBL, be back later  !!!!  DWU/Oz

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