Tuesday, February 9, 2016

December 20, 15 to Feb 8, 2016 Bloggin "Mornin Pages"

December 20, 2015 Sunday night, 11:43pm, MMP (My Magnificent Place) Naperville, IL

Whewww !!!!  now that felt great !!!!   uploading the past months blogging aka my personal journal aka “Morning Pages” or “Evening Pages” from Julia Cameron “The Artist’s Way”….. it was about 39 pages filled with words unto “My Journey to Human Metamorphosis”..  I also made sure I sent my assignments via internet to my education database online website instructor’s base (something like that) and it’s officially Christmas Break !!!!!  Let’s not get it twisted ???  I’m going to play catch up and play ahead of schedule… do Week 3 this coming week… Now the instructor that I have don’t play games…. We’re talking about 1000 word papers, with citations and multiple sources !!!  yeah….. this is not a “Google type research paper !!!”… nope, APA Citation style, Peer and Industry reviewed sources, yeah…. Which is good…. I’m glad that I left when I did.  I went to another McD’s !!!!  which is closer but, it closes at 11pm, the Dinning / Internet area closes at 11pm not the drive through, the drive-through, that doesn’t look right hunh??  We usually see Drive-thru, not Drive Threw or Drive-Through right ??  anyways…. Which is good because it made me go to the websites that I needed to go to for my job search/info and getting registered with the VA. Online thingamajigee, for me to sign up for benefits.  My I never knew that “Trying” to get into the NPS, has a pretty big following.  They are blaming the “Veterans’ Preference” which I smiled with appreciation.  Hey now, I’m the one that gave my life for 4 ½ yrs !!!  I’m the one who went through Marine Corps Boot Camp, which I believe everyone should experience, it’s more than just doing pull ups, running and situps, it’s all about how strong is your Mind !!!!  Now I’m about to get a BA Degree and I want to have a successful and purposeful future, I want my cabin !!!!   I want to be in an environment where I won’t have hardly any stress or pressure and there is nature all around.  I want to pay my debts, save, invest, pursue passions, retire (live 3rd life) in a secluded beautiful sacred area in a one room cabin.  Right now it’s Official !!!   12:05am Dec 21, 2015 and I’m on Christmas Break !!!!!  It feels great to have submitted all of my assignments and responses to the discussion questions and responses to other’s answers… Aaaaand I finally uploaded my Bloggin words to my Blog !!!!  for everyone to see and read…. Since I’ve noticed I’ve getting quite a bit of traffic…. Maybe from all of my exes !!!!  haaa… I know they must of “Creeped” on me before, maybe not everyday but, once in a great while—like me !!! haaa..   hey it’s all good… I want to get ahead and find out what exactly I have to do for “Week 3” it’s a lot !!!  So, I’m just going to have all of my papers, answers to the discussion, ready, all I have to do is copy n paste !!!!!   Bam !!!  it’s done… kind of like what I did with my Blog ! !!  it took about a few min for me to copy n paste… and out of haste I copied and pasted the wrong info…. The previous blog…. About NPS.  Well, you know what??? I’m not going to give up… I’m going to get into shape and make sure I do well in this class and that the graduation is set, honestly it’s tough not to think about it !!!  I was about to say, I’m going to pretend that I didn’t get it.  The NPS job, I applied Dec 2, 2015.  I feel like I’m waiting for the lottery numbers to come out !!!  to see whether or not I’m in the running.  At the same time I want to be prepared…. Today !!!  I’m going to send my letter and application and $5 to California DMV, so I could have my CA driving record, I need to have CA and IL DMV send NPS Hiring Dept my CA and IL driving records (my whole life record)… this is like judgement day in front of God !!!!   my whole life driving record ???  well, I’m not going to lie, they are more than a handful of incidences that are not going to be favorable, buuuuuut, now that’s a pretty long ass but !!!!   But, the last incident was over 10 years ago !!!  I’m hoping that will be the winning Grand Slam !!!!  Yeah, that would be sooo Amazing !!!   Going to job that you love, getting outside, not being in stop n go traffic, no traffic, no traffic signals, no billboards, no big ass buildings aka concrete jungle…. All about nature… I know it’s tough for me not to talk about it… oh yeah, did I mention that housing will be provided !!!!!   and hopefully a gov vehicle that’s why they want to know about my driving record.  My game plan is to take care of my student loan aka my debt… I know I do feel it…. What Dave Ramsey and Oprah says about debt…. It’s a like dark cloud just hovering right above you following you everywhere you go, not being free, I feel like a dark cloud is always above my head can’t really be free, b/c I have debt !!!!   I can’t really be 100% free, b/c of the debt….. I’m just glad that I’m claiming it as my own responsibility where before hand I was just purposely hiding out and not acknowledging that I had some big debts.  You do change when you get older, it’s time to be a grown up and be responsible for my past choices and actions and to Pay It Off !!!!  I was telling mom about my debt, technically I didn’t truly need it !!!!  It felt like you’re sitting at a table at the college or university, “Oh, I noticed you’re going to be taking a class here… Would you like a couple of thousand of dollars to buy your books and get some pensils (and they plopped down 2 huge stacks of $100’s in front of your face ! !!) that how it felt like, me, as I said, I got money blind, oh shit, you’re going to “Loan” me Money !!!!  No one ever loaned me anything !!!!  Honestly, I guess my plan was to create a business out of it… and the sad and pathetic thing is ???  I don’t know what I fuckin bought !!!   and super sad thing was that I didn’t really need it ! !!   I was using the MGIBill and received a scholarship !!!!   Yeah, Hey, as I like to say, “We all have our own different journeys in life and different learning curves.”  I’m glad I finally learned and grateful that it wasn’t too late !!!  as far as age !!  Dave Ramsey says I still have time for me to win at life !!!  I just can’t afford to make another Decade Mistake/Lesson Learned (Mistake or lesson that took you 10 years + for you to learn from.  I don’t have any more Deca-Lesson, I know I will always be continuously learning, or maybe I’m out of Deca-Mistake Chips !!!!    Well, I’m glad, I’m about to get the BA Degree in March 2016….  I used them all up !!!!  Haaaa… yeah, I’m on catch up mode, kinda sorta, I’m just getting ready… and becoming a Park Ranger would be the best job ever !!!!  not only I would be getting paid, very well !!!  (compared to my past income level) I will have benefits, in this particular job, my housing is taken care of and possibly transportation ??  or I might have to get a personal car to get there and use the gov truck for my premises and post security checks ??  Within the first year, I would be debt free !!! that is my 1st and foremost plan, once I’m hired of course.  There is a 1 year probationary period, so I must be absolutely perfect and then some !!!  I want to be and appear to be the best… I’m glad, I have some time to slender down the mid-section.  I still don’t know how they are going to do the interview, the job is in New Mexico !!! and the hiring office is in Sante Fe … will I have to go there ??  How ?? bus, flight, drive, do I have to rent a car, will it be reimbursed ??  will I have time to be refreshed, relaxed and prepared for the interview after a long days of travel ??  especially if I come by Greyhound bus,   will it be by phone ??  or skype ???   will I have to go to the nearest NPS post from Naperville, IL  to be interviewed by the Senior Park Ranger Chief there at the Lincoln’s Library ??  Ahhhhhhhgh !!!!  I don’t know !!!!!  the mantra of my life !!!  “I Don’t Know” !!!!!!!   well, I kinda do know, if not this one, the next one, and the one after that, etc…etc….  Regardless, I will be getting in… I just want it now !!!!  I mean, I want to know now… Right now, right now, I’m 2nd to the 3rd class of my BA Degree… so  me wanting it right now, is not true… I want to know if I got it… bottom line…. So this extra time I have, will be going towards preparation, all of the necessary documents including the “Whole Life” driving record, from both states, California and Illinois… I’m going to do that tomorrow… well, the 1st ones will be for me and my knowledge, so I know what it says !!!   NPS says, they will request my whole life driving record only if I’m in consideration for the job.  So, the sooner they request for my driving documents the better, the thing is – is that I must have both CA and IL DMV driving record to be sent to the NPS address, unopened.  That would be the best scenario ! !!!  for the 2nd half of my life !!!!    Bottom line is to complete Week 3’s assignments and discussions and papers !!!!  oh snap, there’s about 4 of them !!!!   not including the projects…. So, I will be very busy !!!!  

Body Temple Update !!!  The soreness from Dec 16th work out has been reduced ¾ .  There is still some soreness within my chest and pectorals muscles.  Key thing is to continuously feed the muscles with protein and to NOT WORK OUT the Pectorals until the muscles has been fully healed and rebuilt, and you can know this by asking this question?  Am I sore ???  from 1% to 100%... the muscles that you worked out and strained must be 100% fully healed and rebuilt before you work out your chest /pectorals again !!!!  this is Key !!!!   of building muscle !!!!!  I have noticed that my pectoral muscles have been healing and the soreness is slowly going away…. The best thing is to sleep !!!!!  perfect !!!   yeah buddy…. Ahhhh my bad, I just took a glance at the NPS job info packet, well it’s not really a packet but, it’s 9 pages !!!  and I thought NPS, stood for National Parks Service, nope, it’s National Park Service there is no “S” in Park !!!!   where I thought it was Parks… there you go, it’s official !!!   it’s National Park Service !!! which is underneath the umbrella of U.S. Dept of the Interior… hunh…… you know what I can apply to other departments ???  got me thinking, I just want my nature and seclusion !!!!   hunh…. Yeah, that’s the game plan for this Christmas Break, 1st complete possibly all of the required assignments, papers, etc… till week 5 !!!!  which is the last week of the class !!!!  and to clean and org my Home Temple… and have everything all ready to go !!!   pretend that regardless of what happens that I’ll be moving by March 1, 2016 !!!!  Right this nano-second I don’t have a clue of what’s going to happen… Well, I do know some things !!!  I didn’t mean to confuse you…. Yes, I do know what I’m going to do….   Ok, let’s play the If That Happens, than this …….Game !!!   ok ??? ready ???  ok, I finished and I passed all of the classes required for me to get the BA Degree and the last day of class of the last class is Feb 28, 2016, that’s why I’ve been saying that I’m available to move and to work on or after March 1st, 2016.  Ok, I got the BA Degree, and still without any notice of the Nageezi, NM Park Ranger Job, I’ll assume that by March 1st 2016 if I didn’t here anything from the NPS specifically on the Nageezi, NM Chaco Cultural Center job, I’ll assume that it’s a no go.  Shit, they should let you know if you got it or not !!!!  hey now, it’s not March 1st, 2016 yet….. I know, I just pretended, how would you feel, if you really wanted a specific job at a specific location they (hiring company / official) should let you know if you got it or not.  Then again, I try to say to say, “Just forget about it”…. “Don’t get your hopes up on this one”,   I don’t want to say that to myself !!!  how about this, let’s focus on something else !!!???  like getting ready to move !!!!   yeah, that feels a lot better, so that means you got to get rid all of the misc that I don’t truly need.  Make sure I have all of the documents ready to be sent or have the IL and CA DMV’s send out the records the next day !!!!  or maybe I can get an opened one and then send it ??? I don’t know, that would look suspicious… California Driving Record came from IL !!!???  yeahhhh No !!!....    the brain is thinking !!!  finding solutions and answers to my problems and challenges !!!!   It’s tough not to get your hopes up for a particular job, especially when you did the google/maps drill, finding out what’s going to be in your neighborhood, any gyms or health clubs ??  stores ??  notso much, take a look for yourself, “ do a google map, on Nageezi, NM   !!!!  oh, you thought I was making that up !!! haaa !!!   I know when I first saw the name, I say wha…. ???  My Nageezi !!!!     it’s literally in the middle of everywhere and the nearest town is 50 miles or so…. Something like that…. Or 15 miles away, the city that is 15 miles away is called Aztec, NM. Hold on here…. It’s 70 miles NE !!!!!   ok, looky here !!!  go to google maps, type in Chaco Culture National Historical Park , got that, ok, good, then do the Directions deal and type in Aztec, NM… and see how many miles I’ll be ???  hunh, the job packet said, that the housing was in Aztec, NM    15 miles away ??? that is what I didn’t get ??    well, we’ll see sooner or later…. All is very well….. this gov job, will, do me very well…. And that it would be pretty cool to wear a uniform again…. // not only that but, having a “Real Job”…. Don’t get me wrong I want to do the art deal, but, I need freakin space !!!   and $$  for supplies !!!   See, I still can have hobbies other than my full-time job right ?? I still have 40 other hours that I have to spend my time on ??  this would be the best route, to fund my passions, I really want to get into photography and video production  !!!  and you what ??   that cost quite a bit of $$.... plus, I want to be able to invest for my future and retirement, I’m on the Last Call for Alcohol Program !!!!  well, the last call of getting out of debt asap, so I could start investing for my future and get that rugged cabin !!!!    I want a half submersible cabin, where the roof has grass growing on top, with a porch, some rocking chairs !!!!  wooden stove, candles as lights, (I guess it all depends on if there is a lady-friend will be involved)… ok, I might have electricity and have some solar panels, for the coffee machine (you know what I have one of those French Presses) deal, so I don’t need electricity… ok, for the video, camera and laptop equipment… ok…. You got me !!!!  cabin will have electricity, mainly for recharging batteries, for the camera, video cam and laptop and other equipment.  And possibly some running water ??  for sure a water well that is safe and healthy to drink….ok, I need to take a break…. It’s 1:41am now… and I’m a bit hungry…… I’m going to fix something to eat !!!!  just in case I don’t come back… Infinite Love and Gratitude, Oz…. I just wanted to say this before I leave…. Well, I told you that I was in a class with Bodhi Spiritual Center, and I told my instructor that I wasn’t able to make to the last day of class, b/c of my schooling / class, I told her that I was on the final stretch and I must do well in this class.  (Plus, it’s cost of 9 hours for me to get there and get back home…. ) I didn’t say that, but, I wanted to… I didn’t receive a response back…. I said, Thank You for a wonderful class, etc… and tell everyone it was a joy… I don’t know I thought I would’ve received a response, stating not to worry, all is well, next time, you have to do what you have to do, and getting your BA Degree has priority….. Since her son came home from ?? at a University, I thought she would totally understand….. Yes, I’m Officially Done With XXXXX Spiritual Center, it hasn’t been the same.  Especially after my 1 year break from XXXXX, I was still continuing tithing, I was actually tithing 20%  almost the whole year of 2015… then I started listening to Dave Ramsey….. oh yeah, I have quite of bit DEBT to pay off !!!!   the 1st time after a whole year of not going to XXXXX,  it seemed everyone rushed towards me and asked me if you could help out ???  I had about 4 people, say that they needed some help now….. I said, Whoa… Whoa …. I came here as a spectator just to check things out, after taking a year break, I just wanted to see how are things going ????  let’s just say, that everything has changed, and I wasn’t feeling any of it…. I knew then that my time was up, plus, I’m taking a very important online class and the travel time costs is not worth it…. I know I mention quite often somewhere, that just to go to service on Sunday, I would have to wake up at 5:30am, shower, get ready, walk to the Metra station by 6:28am, to catch the train to Chicago… See, on Sunday’s the Metra Train comes and goes every 2-3 hours, so in order for me to get to service on time by 10am, that would be the only one that would get me to Bodhi on time, the next one would have me there around 10:45am, so it’s either get there 2 hours early or 45 min late !!!  For an hour Service !!!  maybe 1 ½ hour service…. Maybe it’s like 1 hr and 15 min… and I’m late for 45 min if I catch the 8:28am train…. So, that’s about 5-6 hours spent on just “Getting There” !!! then it’s coming back home… Usually, in the past I get prayer and a Oneness Blessing after service, and it all depends on how many are there to receive and give prayers…. And the same with the Oneness Blessings, my 1st time after a year break, I couldn’t believe my eyes, there were only 2 practitioners with about 10 people wanting prayer, I included and the same for the Oneness Blessings, I was like, mentally, “Wow !!”  where is everyone ???  where is everybody ???  they used to have about 20 Bodhi Practioners up in front of the stage for prayer and about 70 or so people wanting prayer, usually it would take about 30-40 minutes after service to receive prayer and a Oneness Blessing… I had them both within 5 min !!!!  Nageezi Say Wha … ….?????  Now, Bodhi has to move !!!!  by September on 2016……  oh my, go check out the Bodhi Spiritual Center’s Website !!!!!  just google it…. The church inside the sanctuary is absolutely gorgeous and it took many thousands of dollars to build.  You know I feel it would be best if Bodhi be left with Mark Anthony Lord and to start her own creation and vision.  I’m guessing thousands of hours have been worked on trying to get the church up to code and also make it beautiful  !!!!   Thousands of Hours and I’m guessing Tens of thousands in repairing, upgrading, the sanctuary surround sound panels, the equipment, lighting, I was like dang…. And Bodhi has to move now…. I don’t know what will happen… possibly going back to Apollo Theater ???  and renting rooms and an apartment for Bodhi… that was pretty cool !!!  they would use the apartment with about 20 or so chairs with practitioners giving prayers… there would always be a long line for prayer…. Hunh, I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m “critizing” Bodhi… I just wanted to document what’s been happening and how it’s different now…. and now, I believe it’s time for another spiritual chapter.   
I couldn’t believe all of the practioners have started their own ministries.  Ok, it’s time to get some rest…. Its’ 3:05am now…. it may be raining all day today, …..   My Bodhi prediction is that, (it’s not going to sound good and positive)…. That by the time that Bodhi will have to move Sept 2016, that Bodhi will be no longer?  A new name will be named for the church?  They will be using hotel rooms or possibly team up with other Science of Mind, Center for Spirituality Churches or even Unity Churches in the area.  Or completely disappear to where Bodhi came from ????   Yeah, I know it’s not a very positive outlook… but, I could sense it and I think a lot more people will also sense the future of Bodhi.  Infinite Love and Gratitude, Oz


December 21, 2015 Monday 12:32PM, MMP Naperville, IL

Ahhhhhhh….. Christmas Break !!!!!    ok, today, I’m at \home and it’s a perfect day to clean and get organized !!!!   to really transform my Home Temple into a stepping stone and a haven for me to go to the next level.  Haa, that’s the title of the book that I’m currently writing….. I just wanted to write some words before I start…. Tuesday is the day that I’m going to be going to the library…. Today is to clean and org… I got some office supplies at Staples…. My, I never knew that office supplies were so expensive !!!  like a brown folder is $16 !!!   and office boxe’s 10 for $16, and binders $7-$15…. I got the higher quality D-ring binders….. yeah, I don’t want the binders to deteriorate in a few months…. Because the cheap ones, is basically what they are “Cheap” cheap quality…. So, I’m ready for the next level of my journey…. The next chapter of my journey… I was online briefly last night at McD’s after I uploaded my assignments and paper.  I was on the VA Benefits website…. Trying to get more info on programs helping me on getting the job that I want to do and also any business info… You know what, it would be best if I get a “Job” first and then pursue my other passions.  1st and foremost is that I want to be debt free and right now, me having an art business is not going to take care of that within the 1st year…. Hey, I don’t know, but, I know I will have relatively a constant, stable, secure, permanent income flow to pursue the art, photography and video… and you know what that will require $$ and equipment…. Yeah, so, long term that would be best is for me to pursue the Gov Job……. 1st and then expand…. As far as my organization project here at home, I so want to find out how the billionaires are organized???  And mega-multimillionaires are organized at their own home.  Where to put papers, how they put the papers, do they scan everything ??  what about receipts ???  do they keep them ???  what about their businesses, do they have big binders to put everything about their business and industry in ??  because right now, I’m planning on organizing everything into some departments… like Financial, Financial Debts, Education, Spiritual, VA, let’s do this !!!  do the best I can with what I have…. Infinite God Creator is the Master Organizer and I will be helped…. I’ve already asked for some assistance in this department…. Same with the “cleaning” up, like the dishes…. Etc….. I really want to knock it out today…. Also I have my case worker coming in tomorrow, so this would be a good time…. For me spend some quality time organizing putting everything in folders and binders and that I have instant access to them.  Without tearing up the whole home trying to look for a specific paper or letter that I needed to respond to…. Yeah…. Like, what is happening right now… with the Food Stamps… and with my Student Loan, I needed to send them some paperwork…. And right this second I don’t have a clue of where it is located…. So, today is a perfect day, for me, clean and organize my Home Temple….. ok, let’s play the What If…. .game… for second….. regardless of what happens with the gov job with NPS, I will be working Full-time at either Menards or somewhere close on a full-time basis… I would like to work at Home Depot, but, it’s a ways away… and would be a I’m guessing about an hour walk and or a 30 min bike ride, but, with winter and the Chicago weather you never know what’s going to happen ???  Sometime in 2010 I had a part-time job at Fed-Ex, handling boxes and putting them into different square piles, I did not have a car at the time and I was living in Glen Ellyn, IL and I would have to leave around 2:30am, for me to walk about 5-7 miles, to get into work by 4am…. This one night/morning it was raining cats and dogs and I finally made it to the Fed Ex warehouse and I was completely Soaked !!!!!!  I mean every step I took water was gushing out of my shoes… that sucked !!!!   big time…. And I did have an umbrella !!!!   the winds were crazy and it was raining very intensely side ways… horizontal raining, because of the strong winds…. Yeah, I think after that day, it wasn’t worth, making the trek every morning….. so, I don’t want to do that with Home Depot… now, I will be working full-time somewhere while I pursue the gov NPS job….. Menards is just about right, or maybe working at Target…. That’s where all the lovely ladies love to shop at…. Or maybe at Portillo’s !!!  they pay like $15 per hour ???  we’ll see or maybe I could work at the mall !!!   since I shaved !!!  now I have a 5 o’clock shadow with a small scab on my upper lip !!!! what ???  where did this happen and how ???  I haven’t kissed anyone since ???....... Ummmmmm….. yeah, for some time now…. maybe a spider ??? I do see a spider here in there.   ???  It’s not a huge one, like a little dot, like a birth mark but, even smaller, you might think it might be a small piece of crumb on my lip….. it’s all good, it’s not like I’m going to Zumba to try to get hooked up with the ladies, well you’ll never know… I know now I’m very non-threatening…. Big belly, large 2nd chin, with a herpes scab on my top lip !!!!   yeah, buddy, I’m just the ladies man now…. it’s all good and it’s alright, we all have something going on.  We just automatically assume that I was lip locking with some ho at the club !!! nope…. Ok, let’s change the subject… quick !!!   My Chest !!!!   is on the outskirts of becoming 100% healed and rebuilt !!! the soreness has been reduced to about 5% now…. there is some soreness if I purposely stretch my pectorals versus just picking up a coffee would cause some serious soreness pain…. So, going on the 4-5th day after I worked out…. It’s finally getting 100% healed…. Dorian Yates, says, that the majority of the bodybuilders do not wait until the muscles are fully healed before they work out those same muscles again…. The key is to Hold On until the muscle is fully 100% healed then work out that particular muscle again….. and that is how they grow… if you’re constantly not waiting until the muscle is fully healed, the muscle will eventually become damaged and will become weaker….  This time I want to work out the whole body !!! at one session !!!   because even though I worked out my chest, just by moving swinging my arms doing anything causes the soreness pain.  During the waiting period, I didn’t work out any of my lower body, and that would be best, so that I could recuperate the upper and lower body at the same time… not one area at a time…. We’ll see, I’m listening to my body very carefully…. And I believe by tomorrow I will be 100% healed from my workout on last Wed night…. It takes time !!!  that is the deal, strain the muscles again with heavier weight, I am keeping track on the weight amounts in my workout journal…. We’ll see, bottom line is to get the body used to being strained and fully healed and do it over it again….  But, as I said again…. You must wait !!!  Until the muscle is absolutely healed and free from any soreness…. Maybe at least 5 full days…. Just to make sure…. My next work out I want to do that, to work out 2 days into one session, because I’m doing the “Transformation” Program, where they 3 phases coming from a sedentary lifestyle to bodybuilding bad ass ! !!!  We’ll see, the way I’m looking at it, is that I’m still activating the pectoral muscles not intentionally while I’m  doing other exercises… Hunh…. I don’t want to continuously activate the pectorals once after I have stressed out and is super sore… now, if I work out the upper body and lower body on the same day, I can be sore for 5-6 days until both areas is fully healed.  Then do it over again…. While continuing with the “Cardio” like Zumba and the kick boxing !!!  oh snap…. She don’t play at all !!!!  Tracey Carr !!!!  she knocks me out… and with Joelle, dang !!!   you wouldn’t think that she could dance and move… my o’ my !!!!  she could move and shake…   yeah, I do my best…. I’m still sore, a lot less then before, when I raised my arms and stretched them back there was a bit of soreness…  that means they are not fully healed yet…. The key, is ZERO soreness !!!!   if you need to wait another day just to make sure, wait another day….. it’s better to let the muscle be fully healed than work it again not being 100% healed…. You’re not doing anyone any favors or quicken the process of building muscles…. Make sure you continuously eat protein, during the soreness stage your muscles are being worked on… and to make sure you get a lot of sleep, take naps… this is when your muscles are being worked on… while you’re sleeping…. Water !!!  let’s not forget about water !!!!  consistently…. All throughout the day… it’s going on 1:33pm and I want to get this party started with the organization and cleanin up !!!!  I’m listening to DJ Laz, “Morena ‘08’” with T-Pain !!!!  you have to check it out…… look on YouTube ??? I’m sure it’s there !!!   Booty Shakin Miami Style !!!!   let’s do this…. Going to eat a lil something as well….. much love, Oscar Z….. in the place to be…. Oz


December 22, 2015 Tues MMP, Naperville, IL 4:05pm

Ahhhhh…… Christmas Break……. Kind of …. I will be doing my school work and assignments this week, so I could make sure I do well in the class.  Kind of glad I’m not traveling anywhere this week.  All is well.  The class is a beast plus it’s ONLINE ! !!!   even tougher… so far I had completed Week 2 of the 5 week class.  So this week I’m going to try to complete all of the assignments till Week 5 !!!!  where all I have to do is just copy n paste all of the papers, assignments, and research projects and submit them when it’s due…. That is my game plan…. Also, I must be prepared for the last class !!!!  which starts on Jan 15th, the same day that I’ll be done with this class I’m taking now… !!!  no breaks baby !!!!  I want this done asap !!!  and to really have a super strong finish…. I just met with my case worker, she has to visit me at the apartment 2 X’s a month…. Just to check up with me, to see how I am doing, making sure I’m not doing any illegal activity etc…. etc…..  naaaa, those days are done and gone…. You know what ??  I don’t necessarily have to work for the NPS !!!  I could work for the Dept. of the Interior, BLM (I forgot what that stands for) something about forests, the Fish and Wild Game, etc….. because I think right now, becoming a National Park Ranger is very very popular and that everyone and their mom is applying and trying to get in.  Well, I guess it depends on how old is the mom ???  hehe…..as I said, 1st Priority right now is do well in the current class that I’m in right now and to prepare for the last class !!!   Wow !!!  Can’t believe it’s slowly but surely its happening… The BA Degree !!!!!   YESSS !!!!  You know what ??  All is very well…. Seems like everyone from Bodhi Spiritual Center has gone their own separate ways…. Especially all of the Bodhi Spiritual Practitioners !!!   they all started their own ministries !!!  All is very well…. All is good !!!  So, tonight, is org night !!!! I thought about going to the library to print out my Week 3 assignments, but since the living room is nice and orderly, I can better filter and organize papers, letters and information and documents that are important.  I feel good !!!  there is a little hint of soreness still !!!!  What ??? I’m going on 6 days of recuperation here !!!!  tomorrow night will be 7 !!! a full week !!!  you know what ??? though, I want to be 100% healed and free from any % of soreness.  I want to be 100% ready to stress and build the muscles with more weight, and then recuperate, etc..etc… this time I want to do upper body and lower body work outs…. This means I’ll be at the gym, I’m thinking 2 times !!!   morning to the lower body, go home eat, rest and then go back in the evening to work out the upper body…. And again, eat, rest and let the body recuperate for the next week !!!!  Yes, I’ll be going to Zumba and kickboxing and possibly some other group cardio classes… just get the body moving and sweating…. This is my game plan…. You know what ??  let’s make it 7 days of recuperation… just in case !!!!  you heard that most people wait 2-3 days after they workout to recuperate, but, if you’re still sore !!!  it’s not fully 100 % healed.  Right now, there is, I would say at least 5% soreness, and I’m going to wait until it’s fully healed with ZERO Soreness !!!!  that’s how you do it !!!  Get Big, well, Get Big Muscles !!!! this is how you build muscles !!!!  FAST !!!  the sooner you stress out the muscles with more weight than previously you’re growing and becoming stronger.  As I said, the KEY THING is Recuperation Time !!!!   Don’t work out again until you are 100% healed meaning that you have ZERO Soreness from your muscles…. You got it… so we’ll see, do the soreness test after you’ve eaten in the morning… Are you still sore, when you move your arms back, don’t jolt them or do it fast, you might pull the muscle, but, go back as far as you can and if there is any type of soreness you’re not fully healed.  You need to be sore free before you work out the same muscles again.  With my program, I would rather have both parts of the body heal at the same time, upper and lower body….  Since I know it will take at least 7 whole days for me to recuperate.  Hunh…. Ok,  I was just thinking when would be a good time for me to work out both parts of my body ???  this is Christmas Break and I got my studies… etc…..   also, I think each muscle group might take longer to heal than others… this is what I think ???  I don’t know that for sure ??  that’s why you must keep track, what you did in the gym, sets, reps, and weight amount and the date and time, so you can keep track how long it takes before you are sore free 100% healed…. And maybe tack on day, just to make sure… that’s my game plan… the key thing is consistency !!!!!  Consistency going to the gym to stress out the muscles at least once every 7 days, it depends on if you’re still sore or not…. Right now, my chest/pectorals muscles takes at least 7 whole days of recuperation from the time you are done with the last rep of your workout, check the time and write down the date, so you could keep track…. When you last worked out and how long it takes for you to be 100% healed and sore free.  I don’t know I’m all talking about gym, workouts and keeping track, I guess that is what I’m doing right now, and I am just confirming and writing about what I’m finding out about myself….  Consistency Is Everything !!!!  if you only work out 1 time week with weights, not cardio !!!!  you can do cardio everyday if you like, at least 3 times a week and you can double up if you want 2 classes back to back… like Zumba class and then right after a kickboxing all body cardio class, shit, Tracey kicks my ass !!!!  I am done with life after her class !!!!  I’m like a living zombie after her class !!!  Barely able to walk !!  yeah, it’s a beast of a class !!!!  but, I’m doin it you know…. I’m doing it…..  and the tunes are super cool too !!!  that help tremendously !!!   well, if you’re reading this and is curious where ???  this Amazing Gym is located, it’s called Signature Fitness in Naperville, IL  just do a google and a FB search… you’ll find it…!!!  You’ll see some pics of me !!!  with the class !!! if you can find me and let me know, I’ll give you $5  !!!!  as a Christmas gift… just copy, save the pic and show me on FB…. BAM !!! and Presto  !!! you got your $5    !!!  sheeesh, I don’t know I just did that ???  either…. It’s all good, this is considered to my Morning/Evening Pages…. Just write “Whatever”, kind of like a “Brain Dump…. You write down whatever is on your mind, what’s bothering you, what’s not happening, your complaints, what you want, what you don’t want…. Basically and literally “Whatever” ….. just get it out… I know I do miss my siblings and their kids… I just wanted to document that….. and I know it sucks not having a car or a van to go and visit with them… it’s been wayyy too long !!!   everything will workout…. Ya know… family issues, I know, we all have some sort of issue going on…. Then again I do know what it’s like to disappear from family and friends… for me, if I’m not doing well in life, I mean like, really not doing well, like living in shelters, being homeless, living out of my car or van, I don’t want any family or friends to know what I’m really going through….  I don’t want them to feel obligated or have that awkward bye… Ok, Oscar, take care, stay warm, don’t freeze or starve to death when you’re sleeping in your car !!!!  you know ??? it doesn’t quite flow that well…. So I know, what’s it’s like ….. etc…..when the notso good times roll…. I know…. I know it too well, and I’m ready to learn from the past and make my future heavenly !!!!  I heard from mom, that my cousin Angelo… who also served in the Marine Corps is working for the Post Office !!!  the Gov !!!!!  he had his own business for ????  jeesh, I’m going to guess 15-20 yrs now as a barber…. And right about now, in your 40’s… you tend to finally realize, that you’re ass is going to get older and what the fuck is going to happen at retirement ???  and benefits and health insurance for your kids ???  We’re definitely on the same time scale and wave length…. I can do my “passion / business” on the side !!!!  at least I’ll have health insurance, benefits, steady, stable, good income with opportunities for growth and promotion, and a retirement after you did your time…. Hopefully saving and investing smart is also key for a good retirement…., I never thought about even talking about retirement in my entire life !!!!  shit, you know something has changed… for me in the past it would be only for Now and Tomorrow !!!  Never 5,10,10, 20 yrs from now…. and when you have at least a few decades under you’re belt you and finally realizing How Fuckin Fast time goes !!!   and then you start taking life a bit more seriously and you realize that, can’t believe I’m about to say it, “60” is only right around the corner !!!!!  yeah, so this gov job deal… is very real and that is my game plan…..  so, as I must of said, somewhere, We All Have Our Own Different Journeys in Life !!!!  Some have small curves and some very curvaceous curves on their own learning curve, in the end we all learn eventually….. some took 4 yrs in college and some took 40 yrs of life to learn the same thing !!!!  I know for me I don’t have children, but, I did thought about adopting….. we’ll see…. I just want to get the BA Degree and the Gov Job asap !!!!!   that was some good advice… I read about the inside secrets of getting a job with the National Park Service, someone responded to someone on someone else’s blog… that they are other Gov Departments other than NPS…. That it is with nature, seclusion, and beauty…. Not just being a Park Ranger at Yellowstone….. hanging out with Yogi Bear and Bubba ???  what that his son’s name ???  I know Yogi Bear is correct, but, what about his son, booboo ????  I think that’s right it’s BooBoo !!!!  haaa…haaaa…. I think I might have to watch a couple episodes so I could get some Park Ranger training !!!!  So, I’m going in on full attack mode, when I’m ahead with my class…. that means I have to write separate Cover letters !!!  all is well, luckily I kept the majority of my cover letters from all other past jobs that I had applied to… and if I’m not hired by the time I get the BA Degree.   It’s full-time mode on getting that job !!!!  Gov Job that is….. anywhere !!!!  able to move anywhere in the world !!!!!  it’s time !!!!  family and friends can visit…. And I’ll be saving and investing and making up for lost time…. From my 20’s and 30’s….. that’s why it’s very important for me to get in NOW !!!!!   while I’m relatively still young… 43 yrs old !!!!  that would be bad ass…. ??  working with the Fish and Game Wild Life ???  driving a boat on rivers… I forgot what the name of the program was, but, it was about nature and wildlife, and this gov man, ?? I don’t know what agency, U.S. Gov though, we has saying towards the camera, that he is the luckiest man on Earth !!!  How many people do you know who drives a boat, surrounding by beauty and mountains.  While they are in stop in go traffic, I’m in heaven !!!!  Wow !!! I was like YESS !!!!   that would be a super bad ass Amazing Job….. 8 hours a day….. then you have time and $$ to do what you also want to do or create !!!!  to me it’s a win-win….. I have the perfect job in nature and mountains and I’m getting paid !!!  Stable, Consistent, Secure, Good Paying Job, so I could become 1st Debt Free, Save up and Invest for retirement, and pursue other passions, like my artwork, photography and video production, speaking, preaching, acting, etc….. while being in the best shape !!!!!   YESSS !!!!  that is it in a nutshell…. Oooops, notso fast !!!!   I want my “Cabin”… !!!!  in a secluded area, forest area, with snow capped mountains, a lake large enough so that I can fish, all year long…. Able to write books, create masterpieces, create videos, and take beautiful photos….  Also I must have a gym and a healthy meat source for my Amazing and Powerful Muscles… so, I’m possibly thinking, not 100% secluded, maybe the outskirts of the National Parks, where a gym, swimming pool, and healthy meat source…. Why not ???  let’s put in a Spiritual Community and a Yoga studio and  a Meditation group in there as well ……there you haven’t that’s my retirement !!!!   or yeah, some Club Divine (Divine Dancing) and Roller Skating !!!!  and Mountain Biking !!!!  the Whole Shabang !!!!!  YESSSSS !!!!!!   where I can DJ, the Club Divne’s….. Club Divine is basically a club like environment With OUT  alcohol, cigarettes, or recreational drugs….. just water or alkanized water or some juice….. and you dance your ass off !!!!   you will be dripping with sweat, make sure you break a wipe down towel, to wipe down all of dag gone sweat !!!!!!    all very well…… this is what I want !!!!!


December 28, 2015 Mon. 3:08pm  MMP  Naperville, IL

Merry Christ-Mas !!!!   Mas Christ !!!!  Merry Mas-Christ !!!!   heyyyy what’s happenin !!!!  right this second we’re having a minor storm… sleet, rain and snow… in the mix….. the ground is covered with snow and sleet…..   this is kind of a big a deal because so far we had a very very mild winter,,, it was 60 degrees about a couple days a go… 50’s and 60’s !!!!  yeahhh !!!  Dec in Chicago !!!!   I think we might be making it up soon !!!!   So, I’m warm, cozy, going to keep it home today !!!!  and to finish up the org and cleaning… I did some organizing !!!   We finally got together with my younger brother’s family….. he has 4 kids and his wife got hurt…. So we did some bowling with the kids ….. it was very fun, just hanging out…. We haven’t seen them in a while…. We missed each other during Thanksgiving…. All very good….. they are growing super fast !!!!   well, I told them that I’m on the Gov Job hunt and there is a very great chance that I’ll be moving !!!  when I get the job…. She, told me that I should privatize my videos… until further notice…. This is how people get hired now, the hiring agency or person will google your name and look you up on FB to see what comes up !!!!  and if you have some discriminating photos or videos….. this will hinder your chances of getting hired…. So, yes, all of the videos on Oscar Z tv will be privatized !!!!  you know what though ???  I know I don’t have any discriminating pics or videos…. Yes, they are mostly my journey, my past and my current…. A slice of life of where I’m at now…. so, I will be continuing to make videos but, the videos will not be public and the same with FB…. I’m going to administer the highest security on what the public sees….. yeah, so it’s shutting off the channel, then again, I thought about using my alias…. Kinda sorta, Divinitus Warrious Universalis, Divine Warrior of the Universe ! !!  I’m listening to Lady J, podcast, remixes !!!!   dang, it’s super fresh !!!!   yes, today is the day, I haven’t done shit with my assignments….. so, this is a warm with my writing and typing skills….. wow !!!   my current class has 1st priority…. , so tomorrow I will be going to the library…. To take care of business…. Guess what ??  my cell phone minutes is out… Last time I checked I had about 100 minutes on the phone, I don’t know, if anyone used it or not, but, I had left it at the library for Christmas…. Luckily it was still there or that someone turned it in…. yeah, I don’t know exactly what’s going on with my phone…. I did make some calls last week, taking care of business with my debts, yes, I called up Peoples Gas in Chicago, to get the right address for me to send my payment…. And the same with the State of IL…. I was overpaid from my unemployment…. And I was hold, but not for 100 minutes !!!!   yeah, hopefully I will be notified via email for any job considerations….. I still need to get my drivers record… from CA and IL…. 1st I want to see for myself 1st what had happened in the past….. I try to forget about those growth spurts of years….. the good thing is that I have a clean record for about 10 years now….  we’ll see, I don’t know exactly the years that it had happened….. all very good….. yeah, … all I know is that everything will be just fine…. I really want to take care of my student debt….. yeah,  so if I don’t have a gov job by March 1st, 2016, I’ll be working somewhere and anywhere !!!   yeah, I gotta take care of this asap !!!  with “Gazelle Intensity”….. knock it out in one year !!!  knock out the smallest debt 1st… so I could cross it off !!!  asap !!!!   yeah, I want to be a good example for others…  at the same time, I want to be in the best shape of my life !!!   get a van and travel aka migrate to warmer weather during the winter time and vice versa in the summer… I would love to go visit and spend some time with Bishop T.D. Jakes…. Church, called “the Potters House”… in Dallas, TX…. Go to church on Sunday, day and night service and on Wed bible study and any other services they have… a prayer worship service ???   I don’t know ?? then work out at the hard core gym Metro Flex, I believe it’s in Arlington, TX   a suburb of Dallas….. go there during the winter time ??  then in the summer time go to Soyassett, NY…. At the East Body Building Mecca Worlds Gym I believe…. I don’t know about the West Coast Mecca in California, Gold’s Gym in Venice Beach, CA… I have a feeling that it’s beyond packed all year !!!  or go to the other hard core gym Metro Flex in Long Beach, CA… I would rather go there than Gold’s Gym in Venice Beach….  At the same time I don’t know, I haven’t been there… no prejudging !!!  if you haven’t experienced it….. so, I don’t know…. Writing books, traveling the world…. Go up north to Canada in the summer…. Spoke out my future  cabin….. ??   I know I must turn up the heat…. I will get a gov job in 2016…..   it’s the law !!!  that you must hire the veteran 1st before anyone else that has the same qualifications.  Shit !!!   an economical car or not….. it depends if the gov will provide a car… so, this is the deal for today !!!   type for a lil bit more, eat, put away, org and clean !!!!   tonight it will be done,…. I have done my laundry twice in 2 days !!! yeah, the detergent pellets didn’t work, and I had put 2 of them inside the laundry machine… this had happened before… where I had washed and put the pellets inside and the clothes came out with some funky body odor scent…. Which means, that it wasn’t clean and the detergent didn’t work….. so, the other day, I didn’t again…. But, put in 2 of them just in case …. Nope !!!   I was furious !!!  spend around $20 to wash and dry 6 loads of clothes…..  luckily mom, understood what had happened, and gave a mini loan for me to re-wash the clothes and to get some other laundry detergent, “The Powder Stuff” ….  I usually buy Arm and Hammer box of the powder stuff…. The reason I got the pellets was that it was on sale…. It was also from Arm and Hammer… but, it was in a pellet form….. so, now, it’s all good…. After I used the powder stuff… it was an inconvenience but, had to have good clean clothers…. About 90% of the clothing that I washed was workout related…. So, if I had wore a non-clean body funk smelling shirt and I was sweating everyone would know…. Best thing was to do all over again…. Wash and dry… especially, for the group fitness classes, where 99% of the class is ladies !!!   I’m all good…. Now, yesterday, the socks where a lil bit damp so I made sure all the socks and a few clothing items were fully dried before I put them away….. it’s 4pm now and technically the “Storm” is over…. But, very windy…. I haven’t gone outside today, this was from the news radio weather….  I don’t know why people still do this !!!!   also on the news there was a full car with 6 passengers and a baby that was hit by the Metra train !!!!  I don’t know anything about what had happened… but, I could only imagine what had happened…. It was early in the morning…. So, it was a packed car going the lady was taking everyone to work with her baby and the signal started going off and since they were going to work they egged the driver to try to beat the train…. Since it was already snowing with sleet and ice…. They couldn’t get out of the way in time and then….. Pow !!!!  the news said, a lady was killed and the rest of the passengers and the baby were sent to the hospital…. So, ???  what do you think happened ????  I think the mom was the driver… I’m just guessing… driving family or friends to work or to the train station ??   when the train comes and if you’re on the wrong side, there is no way for you to get on the train from the opposite side….. that could’ve been a possibility…. But, shit, the train signals turn on with more than enough time for you to be aware and to NOT Fukin Cross !!!!!!   I do have mixed feelings when people get killed or get hurt when crossing with the signals are going…. I have zero sympathy and empathy…. Maybe a little of empathy… but, it’s not worth your life !!!!   trying to make the train…  and risking your life in the process, to make the express train….. F-That……  I have a feeling that is what had happened…. The mom was driving family and friends to either to work or to the train station or bus stop, they were on the other side of the tracks and the signals were going off… having snow, ice, sleet on the road and rail road crossing… it’s hard rubber and steel so it’s very slippery…. They were saying, “ Go !! Go !! Go !!”  you can make it !!!!...”… they got stuck in the middle of the tracks due to slipperiness or traffic…. Or another train going back to the original train station…. That’s another thing… just because there is a train stopped at one side of the tracks… that doesn’t mean that no other trains will be expressing back to get more passengers… and they go pretty freakin fast !!!!!   they we’re really looking, they just assumed that the signals were going off for the “other” train that was stopped picking up passengers and not paying attention about any other trains going super fast expressing back on the other two tracks !!!  they are 3 tracks, so that means that 3 trains could cross at the same time…..!!!  this could also be a possibility…… or possibly a combination of these different scenarios……  Bottom Line is to NOT CROSS if the signals are going and to LOOK !!!!   both ways…. Hey, if this incident was not the drivers fault, yes, It’s very unfortunate and very sad…. But, you must put your foot down and don’t do it…… if everyone else in the car is saying , Go !!  Go !!!!  and look what happened….. yeah, …..  Go!!!  Go !!!!   Go to your funeral today !!!   and go to the hospital for the injured….. could be a combination of weather, peer pressure, not looking both ways, not expected a super fast train going back to the original train station…. There was a few times, where I was startled….. when a train is stopped letting off passengers and a super fast without any warning just flies on the middle track…..   so the best thing is to Stop !!! and before you cross Look Both Ways ….. don’t just trust the signals…..  I’m sure the windows were up and didn’t hear the horns…. I have a feeling that it happened, fast….. not like a slow freight train where you have some kind of time to get out of the car….. ok, enough about this !!!!  right ??? well, I’m just letting you know… if you’re reading this… that a lot of scenarios can happen….. for this to happen…. I just don’t want this happen to anyone else !!!  this kind of death is worst than an accidental  it was “Preventable !!!”……  you decide to Go !!!  when the gates and signals are going down and off… and you still decide to “Beat the Train???”… hey, your life is your hands…. You have the control to go or not to go…. Metaphorically and Literally !!!!!  ok, enough… Hey, maybe Darwin was right, that the strong and smart survives and the not so smart and strong will somehow someway eliminate themselves….   Ok, for reals !!!  let’s change the subject already……. I don’t think we’re going to be working out today…. I wish I could call mom, saying that I’m not planning on going… today… hopefully she does the same thing…. To go to Zumba !!!  and the Kickboxing class that Kicks my ass !!!!   I want to take care of this tonight….. org and clean and my room !!! I still don’t have heat from the heater furnace, I’m using the oven as my heat right now…. during the storm…. It works very well… I was told to only have your furnace at 200 degrees….. nothing warmer…. The over uses a flame burning gas…. I do have the window open a crack… to get some fresh air…… ….. ok, while hangin out with mom, we went to Jewel grocery store, and I got some periodicals… 2 free car, truck misc. ones…. And I just had a thought…. There was an ad for buses for sale ! !!! one was for the long ass buses and another was for the “Short bus”…. And a Pace Transit Bus…. I was like, hummmmm…..  a short bus for transportation of kids will be a lot safer than a regular commercial van… with all of the mirrors and the quality of being in minor or major crashes or bumbs….  Hmmmmm… for $2900  !!!!!!   and the 65 passenger one for $3950….. yeah, I wasn’t really feeling the 65 passenger but, the 23 passenger one, I was like, Humnnnn ????   I can have maybe 2 seats in the front and have the back gutted out… to have my queen bed, a table that is bolted down with a chair to to to write and type and study or read…. Have a min couch…. With a fridge…. Oh snap !!!!  I’ll have space for my tools, my clothes, make some drawers for tools, clothes or maybe even a rack…. Hunh ?????  maybe I can work on it, while I’m here in Naperville….. I think the 65 passenger is a bit too much….  For parking but, the height of the bus, is like a Hummer !!!!!  naaaa, well, see, I don’t know… thought about creating a livable art studio !!!!  shit for $3950   !!!!   gut out or scrap the seats…. And create your own RV.,…. Black out or tint the windows…..  have a bed, space, rooms, hunh…. That would be a lil bit too much,  I’m thinking the “Short Bus”… for $2950  !!!!   nope it’s for $2900  !!!!   yeah… ok I’m back from a nice meal and  a few sips of coffee… mom, didn’t come…. Yess… she doesn’t like driving during a storm…. So it’s 6:39pm now…. ok, I’m going to writing for 20 more minutes then it’s on baby !!!   yeah, I feel good… and I feel that lil bit of anxiety of not having doing any of my assignments and papers…. So, tonight is the night for me to do it all…. Do as much as I can…. Put away, org and clean all rooms…. My phone is out…. Now, I usually get more minutes usually by 2nd or 3rd of each month…. It would be pretty cool if I get the Free All Pass, my name for it… All meaning Metra Train, Pace Bus (suburbs transit bus) and CTA (Chicago Transit Authority)…..  that would be nice…. If I do decided to get a Chicago job, or for personal use, to go to Chi Ka Go…. And other events…… I’m going to save the bus ads for future reference… shit for $2900…. Damn….. that could be my daily driver and them some…. I could possibly get it while staying at the apartment and doing some remodeling for the short bus…. Queen size bed, with personal misc…. book shelf, hanging rod to hang clothes… area for tools and supplies and my mountain bike ??  I was curious on whether or not if I need a special license to drive the 65 passenger bus….??  That would be pretty cool as well… where I could space for just about everything…. Couch, table, chair, to eat and to write and study on, bedroom area, space for clothes, tools, art supplies, and mountain bike….. and maybe a mini-fridge… I know that when I’m traveling in the city area that parking might be an issue….. since it’s so big and long….. I also wouldn’t mind if I learn what type of tools I should have to do basic preventative maintenance repairs and precautions and to learn how to do an oil change, change all of the fluids and what to look for as far as any belts, lubrication, brakes…. .tires, jack ??  just in case I’m in a very secluded area…. And I get a flat…. Etc….  the more I think about it the more it makes better sense…. For example for the TX deal…. And in Ca, I would love to go to Meta flex gym in Long Bench and go to Agape Spiritual Center with Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith and the same in TX…. Metra Flex Gym in Arlington, TX and go to see Bishop T.D. Jakes…. In Dallas at the Potter’s House !!!!   while I write books, make video’s and take pictures…. While cruising the U.S. Canada and Mexico !!!  I’m thinking of painting in all black… but, that would look kind of suspicious versus having the School Bus Paint Job….. the School Bus paint job, doesn’t look threatening at all….. so I’m thinking about changing it to.  “Ol Skool Bus”….  Haaaa….. that would be pretty funny… yeah, a school bus that has a misspelled name… “Ol’ Skool “….. right now I’m just thinking outloud…. All good in da hood… I can go to SoCal to get into the acting and comedy movies and shows industry….. hunh…… while being in the best shape…. Hunh…. That would be sweet actually… having a little bit more space than a minivan…. A short bus…. Not as much gas as the 65 passenger bus…. But, just enough to move and live comfortably in….. note, as I said, that I’m not living in, the whole planet earth is my home and I’m living on planet Earth…. So, I’ll be using the fitness gyms, YMCA’s… humh… colleges, libraries for showers, bathroom and internet !!!  the reason I said, hunh for YMCA because it’s time for me to reapply my membership….. using the income based membership rate….. which is $5.50 per month….. see…. I would rather, go to the YMCA for my workouts and showers at the Y !!!!  the other Y’s…. the downtown Y, isn’t that too appealing… see, I didn’t know that I had access to all of the Chicagoland YMCA’s with my $5.50 per month membership !!!  now that’s savings…. Big time….. all I need is a place to shower, shave and brush and floss….. dang…. Time flies when you’re having fun…. It’s 7:02pm now…. ok, let’s make it 7:30pm for me to kick some ass, or in Europe, Arse….. hunh…. I told mom, yes, I want to take care of my debt…. But, at the same time, I don’t want to be working $10 an hour job, while I could create my paintings or I could be writing my books….. 8 hours a day…. Hunh……. I know as soon as I graduate with the BA, the agency that I’m working with, they want my ass working somewhere !!!  full-time….. ya know ??? hunh…..  I don’t know what exactly is going to happen… I just want a great paying job that I love and that I’m able to pay off my debt in the year of 2016 in less than a year…. At the same time, I want to be fully prepared while I still have an apartment…. So maybe, get the best thing I can do now, w/o a car or transportation, walking distance to work full-time…. Maybe Meijers…… I do not want to work nights…. Nope…. Maybe 2nd shift…. So, I’m also going to find out where the workers at the protein Optimum Nutrition which is very walking and biking distance… very close….. see, as soon as I get the job deal for a full-time deal, I will have to pay 1/3 of my monthly income to the agency….. This whole process is like driving in very very very thick fog…… you don’t know what’s ahead, you can only see 5 feet in front of you !!!  that’s how I feel…. I still have about 1 month for this class that I’m in now and another month and a week for the last class…. I’m finished with this class Jan 24, 2016 and will be starting the last class on Jan 25th, 2016 (one day break) and the last class will end on Feb 28th, 2016…..  so when the Jan 1st comes I’ll have 2 months left !!!!  Jan and Feb….. holy shit…. It’s happening !!!!  you know what I think I just might do that….. save up as much as I can, get the short bus and work on my fitness… and my body temple….. and as far as work, I’ll be writing books…. And doing my paintings…… and be local in the Chicagoland area DuPage Forest Preserves and working out at the YMCA, Signature Gym and at Lifetime Fitness….. and Jakked Hardcore Gym !!!!   I’ll be very local…. And to work on my fitness and to write and paint !!!   where to paint ???  hunh…. I’m thinking of searching for successful artists and possibly using some of their space if they are in a warehouse ??  dang, it’s 7:32pm now…. I was going through my tunes…. Ok, 8pm !!!  No Ifs Ands or Buts… I want to do the living room and kitchen !!!! and possibly my room…. Make it organized…. So, I could finally call to let the owner know that my heater isn’t working !!!  ok, tonight I want to take care of the Home Temple… !!! and then tomorrow, start on my assignments….. I would rather finish up the assignments first and then do the cleaning…. Well, my bedroom, I just need to put stuff away, put on the bed covers…. Pillow cases…. Org up the boxes into a neat row or pile…. Put the clothes away…. Make it look pretty….. the cleaning will be mostly in the bathroom and the kitchen…. … so, it’s not not that that bad… ya know…. I want to put away the misc. papers, personal stuff, in folders and I know exactly where everything is….  Honestly I would rather be in shape and healthy and writing…. We’ll see…. As I said, I feel like I’m in very very thick fog….. like 5 feet of sight in front of me….  So, we’ll see what comes up…. I just know everything will be perfect !!!!  hunh…. I’m just thinking about that bus !!!!  get the bus, only take whatever I absolutely need and that it could fit in the short bus…. And go to all of the Transformation Festivals…. And during the winter time…. Work out, be in the best shape of my life !!!  while I pay off my debt !!!!   traveling and selling my artwork !!!! hunh….. that just gave me an idea….. I can sell my artwork and my books at the Festivals ! !!!!   holy shit, I think I have it !!!!  yes…..   that’s it. ….. .you know what, after I pay off all of the under $1000 debts…. So I have $100, $358.57, $815, $25,000 for the $25, 000, hunh… I can sell my art for $149 per big painting….. let’s say I sell 20 paintings x $150 each…. =   $3,000  you know what ???  I don’t want to be at my station manning the paintings….. it’s a 1st come 1st serve deal…. A huge 7ft X 5ft roll up painting….. where all you have to do is roll it up… very transportable and mobile…. Hunh….. this could be it !!!  you guys…. Ok, there’s let’s say 15 Tranformational Festivales and if I have only let’s say 25  7ft X 5ft roll up paintings for $149 each…. See, I want everyone to be able to afford one… if they truly want one….. all proceeds will be paying off my student loan debt of $25,000, or maybe raise it to $195 each and then when I’m debt free, lower the price ???  for now, let’s do 25 roll up paintings for $195 each =  $4875  ;  25,000 divided by 4875 = 5.1 Transformational Festivals….. hunh…. I could paint outside…. Using the bus as part of my easel…. And I’m thinking of getting that side window, mirror, “painting” rack on the side of the commercial vans you see…. And a roof top cage/railing where I could tie down misc… big, large misc…. hunh….. ok….. it’s all coming together now…. you, yes, I want to pay off my debt… asap, with “Gazelle Intensity” ….. but, I don’t want to do a job that I know that I’m worth soo much more…. Ya know….. hunh……. Ok….. //…  1st things first….. 5 min till put away , org away misc….. and do the kitchen already…. Wow !!! I can just picture it…… having a mobile dj, party, RV…. Deal….. be on the roof top or maybe on the side with speakers and dj equipment….. Club Divine !!!!   yoga retreats…. Yes….. I kind of want the big bus now !!!!  place to sleep, rest relax and rejuv, table to eat, write, type, study, space for the speakers, dj equipement, clothes, food, tools, mobile Club Divine selling my goods and wares !!!!   free dancing…..  hunh….. Wow !!!  from what I’ve seen there is about 30 Transformational Festivals during the summer, fall months…. In the western area…. Meditation, Yoga… etc…. Hunh….. I will price it only for $195 for each painting and the Awakened Beings will be offered the opportunity to give or donate more money for the painting… because they know that I’m providing much more than the $195 price that I’m charging…. Because I know they are some very very abundant Awakened and Enlightened Beings that go to these Transformational Festivals….. hunh, if I really kick ass, creating 30 paintings x $195 each = $5850  for each festival… I will have signs and a vision board… I want everyone who wants one for them to be able to get one…. Regardless of financial availability….  These will be huge, hand painted, Divine Guided Paintings…. Which emits Love, Power, Peace to the whole Universe !!!  Holy shit, this may be it !!!!!   because I want to be able to travel the world, go to the Transformational Festivals, create my artwork, sell my books and pieces of art… hunh….. maybe a few years I’ll be needing a bus… and during the winter times I’ll be going to the Potters House and to Agape International (Michael Bernard Beckwith)…. With 5 festivals if I sold 30 paintings at $195 each that’s $5850 per festival…. X let’s say 15 Festivals…. $5850 X 15 = $87,750  per year !!!!  that’s only 15 festivals selling 30 paintings per festival ! !!  haaa.. . that’s the key right there !!!   the qty !!!!   brb… pee pee… time….hunh….. I must have a home base…. Somewhere???     You know what??  Maybe Maybe Not !!!   ok, the brain loves projects and new things….. I want the small/short bus to be able to sleep comfortably, sit down at a table, to eat, write and type and be on the internet…. Like parking afterhours near Starbucks or McD’s….  I’ll be able to upload and download… videos and pics…. To the internet…..  place to hang clothes, place for tools, place for my books (possibly a shelving unit along the bus, have storage, and create storage from the high curved ceilings… you know I think I may want to get the short bus first, have the welding instructor help and hook me up to create the space and safe storage…. Fitness misc…. extra curricular activities…. Roller skates, body board, back packs etc… preventative maintenance misc…. bus tools, bus jack, spare tire, rear and front tire… maybe on top on roof ??? or side, weld a back carriage for the two tires…. Etc…   plus my bike, cooking utensils and pans, portable grill, kitchen area….. portable table… maybe have a side tent deal… for shade and rain… portable table and chairs… etc… to be able to paint anywhere and everywhere…….. ok….. this is what I want !!!!  only let’s say 20 x $195 = $3900    I believe I’ll be needing the ATM dealeo….   Hunh….. Advanced Marketing or Bill Gould’s wife’s company…..  that could be a possibility….. ok, check this out… ok, I get the BA, alright, I get a full-time job in Chicago b/c I get free transportation, I’m going to go for the MCA job…. Or any of the downtown near Union Station companies !!!  easy to get to and to walk to…. And to get back home to…. Ok, got it… I still do not have a car or a vehicle… pay whatever I have to pay for the apartment… if it’s more than $700 per month…. 1/3 of my take home pay is what I have to pay for the apartment… so, it really depends on how much $$ I take home… per month…. So, let’s say…. 40 hrs a week X let’s say $15 = $600 per week x 4 = $2400 per month x 12 = $28,800 per year…. Ok, I truly don’t about the taxes on zero dependants and being single… so I’m guessing they are going to take out let’s say $8,800 per year… I’m just guessing on the amount of taxes that will be taken out…. Ok, so it’ll be $20,000 take home…. Let’s do this backwards now…. 20,000 divided by 12 = $1666 per month, divided by 4 weeks a month, = $416 per week divide by 40 hrs per week = $10 an hr !!!!  or $10.41 an hour take home….. ok, let’s get the 1/3 of take home pay per month…. $1666 per mo. Divide by 1/3 (.33)  = $549.78 per month….. that I would have to pay for the apartment…. Ok… see, I have already done my research on the amount per month for apartments in the area…. LEAST $800 +   more like LEAST $900 per month….. so, I must be 1000% ready and prepared to go before I go…. There is no coming back….. so, I’m thinking of get the full time job, keep the apartment, pay 1/3 for the apartment and get the short bus…. While I’m working, I can prep the short bus…. Welding, storage cages, inside and out, weld a pipe to hang all of my clothes on…. No folding or wrinkles…. Also I’ll have a ride and I’ll be learning what to do and to do the preventative maintenance and acquire the tools and necessary equipment to change a tire from the rear and from the front… check the belts…. Flush out the system, oil change, radiator, brake fluids, gas line, gas fility, tank, I want to be one with my short bus….. able to live with the books, with accessibility to my recreational activities, mountain bike, swimming, rollerskates…. Able to rest, relax and rejuvenate, with area to put the 5 gall jugs of water and a secure place to get water from, like the water cooler spout… deal…. Able to have space for 7-8 gallans of water…. Maybe get the military water potable tanks….  Military Gas and Water Tanks…. And an area for food and protein…. Most likely I’ll be in an area where I can get daily food from a grocery food, if not I want a top notch cooler, for example if I know for a fact that I’m going to be on my own for a week or more, I want to be able to have a heavy duty cooler where I could keep the food cold… especially for the meats…. And to have an area for can goods… emergency protein goods, place for my weights…. And portable work out equipment…..  hunh…. How are we going to get this going ???   VA ???   VA business ???   It’s all good, it’s well beyond 8:30pm !!!  haaa… when you’re in the flow you’re in the flow ! !!  Right now I’m in the flow…. Receiving ideas, directions and instructions from Infinite Divine !!!!   and then go when it’s time to go !!!!!   I want to go to DJ school !!!!   I want to save up and pay off my student loan debt asap !!!!!   ok, I want to know a few more things with the short bus, yes, with the short bus I’m able to park it at my apartment parking lot…. If I had the 65 passenger bus, I wouldn’t be able to park it in my parking lot… That’s about the main deal breaker of me wanting a 65 passenger… yes, with the 65 pass. Will have a lot more space, but, where can you park ???  especially overnight…. In the city where it’s pretty congested….. see with the short bus, I’ll be able to be more accessible to gyms, stores, coffee shops, gas stations… etc…..  I’m curious on what the gas mileage is and what’s the gas tank size ???  I have no clue… I do know that the semi-trucks have like 50-100 gallon tanks….. the only info I have on the short bus is that the motor is 6.5L diesel  ???  I have zero knowledge on what that means ???  I’m thinking the amount of oil ???  6.5 liters of oil ???  and the size is 23 passengers… ???  I want to have two front seats and the rest gut them out….. I’m thinking of having or installing ceiling to floor storage units…. Fully secured with welding etc….kind of like lockers…. 2ft x 3ft each locker is for one category, … cooking, tools, etc…. recreational… depending on the size… I know I’m going to have a place for the mountain bike that will be easily accessible and able to put it back easily… with the bed, if I have to cut the queen size foam mattress I will, honestly I really don’t want to have to do that….. I love to spread out my legs…. And to have enough room for any living human companionship…. Kapeesh ! !! also dj equipment, speakers, rugs, ??  for mediation ??  painting supplies, everything has a home…. Even my books… I want to see a short bus and to get some measurements…. Just to get some ideas… I think the best thing is to get a full-time job, not only to pay off the student loan…. But, to pay the apartment for $550 per month… now this is including utilities !!!  and I could have Gazelle Intensity !!!  the Gazelle Intensity is from Dave Ramsey !!!!  Mobile DJ, Art, Meditation, Dance Party….. with laser lights and disco balls !!!!  and moving spot lights…. Oh snap…. This would be freaking Amazing !!!!!  displaying all of my artwork….  Mobile DJ and Art Show !!!!  and I have met with the welding instructor at College of DuPage…. It would be best if I get a “Great Paying Job” nearby, close !!!!  honestly I don’t want to spend 3 hours a day being on a train….. hunh…. Maybe I could learn as I work… bus mechanic ??  or better yet short bus mechanic ??  or maybe hire a short bus mechanic on a sat or sun to learn what to do and how to do and what I need to do it with ???  holy moly this is just coming right out, I think I may have to the organizing and cleaning tomorrow, 1st thing !!!!   in 3 hours !!!  FAST !!!!   FAST !!!!  just Wham Bam Thank You Mammmm……. !!!!!!   see this is what I’m talking about, receiving directions and instructions on what to do next….. let it flow… having a Direct Connection with the Infinite Divine !!!  and ideas and brainstorming just come out !!!  about seeking a short bus mechanic ??? wait till he/she is finished working ?? at the place of company…. Go up and ask him if I could hire him so I could learn how to change the oil, do all of the preventative maintenance, check all of the fluids, what to look for as far as wear and tear, with the rubber thingy’s…. (forgot the actual name right this second, it’ll come later)…..  let this be a continuous project… and yes, get the VA involved… this could be my business, a Mobile, DJ Art- Dance- Light Show Party !!  where there is a place for to rest, rejuvenate and relax, sit and eat, write, type, internet, uploading, video production… etc…. also with recreational misc. gear… looks like I’m going to be doing the organizing, putting away clothes and cleaning the kitchen tomorrow….. it’s 11:05pm right now…. I took a break, to eat something, some fiber cereal with whole milk !!!  while listening to NPR, or NPI, National Public International, Live Wire in Portland, OR…. It’s a radio talk show, a misc show… not just talk, but, with bands and poetry and interviews with selected individuals….. Tom Bodat…. The one who says, We’ll leave the light on for you…. For Motel 6 ad campaign….. ok. …. I’m going to write a lil bit more, brush and flush…. And call it a night….. the short bus is still throbbing in my mind !!!  I thought about writing a book, called, “Planned Homelessness / Freedom”, basically the story of a man who wanted to travel the world, go to all of the Transformational Festivals, creating and selling artwork and artistic hand crafted wares and DJ’ing all throughout the states, migrating to warmer weather, working out, going to spend time with Infinite Divine at the National Parks etc….. the transformation from a “Short Bus” to a Freedom / Spirit Seeker, … just an idea…. The true story of Oscar Zepeda…… and if I want to go to Chile, I can keep my short bus at a storage facility…. Or a mechanic shop, so they could keep up with maintenance and rodents nesting in the motor….. that’s what was happening with the Saturn when I had it… I had the Caravan and the Saturn and wasn’t driving the Saturn…. And when I popped up the hood there was a squirrel nest in the motor !!!  yeah,,,… chewing some of the rubber pipes….. etc….. ok…. Let’s do it tomorrow…ok…. and do this.  Fast !!!!  and Quick… I’m still planning on going to the library and to the Post Office so I could get a $5 Postal Money Order so I could pay for the CA driving record… I think I might turn on the oven before I go to sleep… my hands are a bit chilly now… typing here…. Hunh….. Planned Homelessness, being homeless on purpose !!!!  I told mom this many times, that I told here, that I was the most happiest and the most fit was when I was “sleeping or crashing out” inside the caravan…. I was working out everyday, taking hot steamy showers, swimming, working out, being in the sauna and steam room meditating…. And during the time that I wasn’t at the gym..  I was either at the college where I had free internet, where I took power naps…. Very comfy and no one was there !!!  Saturday’s and Sundays’…. And at McD’s for my morning hot coffee while writing my “Morning Pages”…. Like my writing here… just write whatever  comes to mind… just write and type… and I do love typing…. I truly do…. I know… I could do this maybe for 8 hours a day as a day job….. but, I would be writing books…. Yesss… yesss and More Yessss…. Especially when seeing a short bus for sale for $2900… that really caught my attention… shit, it’s possible… see, I was thinking of getting a minivan, but, I already know that space would be an issue, if I was to put my queen size foam mattress in there with my mountain bike and all of the misc. books, clothes… I want my clothes to be hanging, also to have an area to put the dirt clothes in… ??  and my 5 gal water bottles…… I went from the minivan to a Saturn… with the Saturn, I was going to the shelters… because I couldn’t actually lay down…. I was sleeping on the drivers seat that was all the way back…. Luckily the seat was able to go pretty far down so you could actually sleep with a  pillow and some covers… but, to go to the bathroom aka pee pee, you would have to go somewhere to pee…. Versus the minivan, I would have a big gulp cup to pee in and crack open the side door to empty out the pee pee without making a scene or making it obvious that someone was in there… and did sleep comfortable… in the middle… while I have bags of misc.  I would have everything organized… into their own bag…. Socks, underwear, shirts etc…. so I could have everything ready to go and leave the van when I arrived at the gym versus having all the doors opened trying to find clean workout clothing… I would make sure that everything was ready and prepped, so all I had to do was stop the van, get my workout bag and water jug and go…. Without having my ass in the air and the doors open trying to find a clean pair of socks…. Looking back, this was the most adventuresome and happiest time….. I was working out, eating healthy… I was eating mostly canned tuna…. Mostly the last two weeks of the month…. Because I was making very little….most of the $$ was for gas and food..all very good…. I don’t know if I had food stamps or not…. But, I remembered there was quite a few nights where I was hungry and I was drinking water to ease the hunger pains while trying to go to sleep… those nights was pretty challenging….  I would go to different forest preserves walking with my jug of water, writing, typing, well right now the battery life is zero….. it doesn’t even charge now…. I don’t know what’s happened…. Is the laptop to old ???  is it the battery… well, I’ve gotten used to having the laptop near an outlet in Starbucks or in McD’s…..  I remember I parked near Starbucks and was on the internet in my van…. I thought that was pretty cool…. And I had a routine and I was fit baby !!! I want to play bags at the Lodge during the summer time again…. Having my mini grill and grill, drink beer and play bags and play my tunes…. Oh snap, we had a blast at the Lodge….  Let’s do this…. I know I’m going to surprise everyone… when I come pay “The Lodge” a visit…. I want to write Lauren… she was soooo cool and I had got word that she actually liked me !!!  I didn’t pursue her though…. I don’t know why ???  I didn’t get any obvious signs that she liked me… I remembered that I had taken a picture with her and her friend then I said, I want to get a picture with Lauren.. about 3-4 days later (?? I don’t know really how long) but, Lauren only posted the  pic herself and her friend and not the pic with her and me…. I felt a little bit crushed… because she’s totally hot, totally cool, loves to talk shit playing bags…. And to dance… etc…. yeah, I think I might always have a crush on her…. Same with Kathy !!!!  oh Kathy…. Dang…. Here we go, me posting all of the ladies that I had crushes with but, never pursued or never really asked them out on a one on one date…. Shit I was working at the Lodge….. I was in contact with quite a lot of gorgeous and beautiful women….. ready to have the best time of their life…… there was one personal rule that I had, not to go out with any of the customers or staff…..  well, it was tough…. I don’t know… I know in the end there was going to be that awkwardness when we see each other again…. Hey, it’s all good… ya know…. I remembered Trevor Keveloh, when he wrote a goodbye letter to Michael and to the Lodge… how he had 3 exes from the Lodge… .I was laughing quite a bit…. Yeah…. I’ve met some very interesting ladies at the Lodge…. it was super cool…. Especially when it’s hot outside, everyone is at the pool, got tunes playing and playing bags…. And at the time we could’ve bring our own beers… which I brought cases of beer to the pool area… and drinking all day… and then Sunday Funday !!!  everything was half off…. But, everyone else would buy me beers and shots… so basically I didn’t have to pay for anything when I went…. It all stopped when I started working at the Lodge…. Fri, Sat and Sundays… for about a year or 2… 7pm to close… 1-2am…. I was burnt out…. Dealing and babysitting drunk people….. yes, I had a blast but, after a while you get burned out…. Getting super drunk people to leave when they don’t want to leave, they want to keep the party going… especially if they had full drinks to drink…. Yeah…. That was not really any fights that broke out, we saw the key signs and body language if there was going to be a fight…. So, we handled the situation before it got out of control…. Mandy !!!  I totally liked her….. she was part of the wait staff…. I know my time will come….. with a  special one in my life….. or maybe reconnect with a past love or crush ???  FB is known for that !!!   more now than ever, usually from high school, we didn’t have FB then, but after 20-30 years of life, kids and divorce…. Let the 2nd half of your life begin !!!!!   I’m guessing at least thousands of people have reconnected with someone from their past through Facebook….  Ok. … lets wind things down a little bit, it’s 12:03am now Dec 29th, Tues 2016…. I’m listening to “Arabic Beats”…. Cd… it was on my laptop… I believe I checked out the cd from the library to rip unto the laptop… in the past I used to check out cd’s galore…. As many dvd’s I used to check out 25-30 at a time…. I’m thinking of getting a new temporary laptop….. I’m almost out of memory with this one…. And also YouTube and other popular websites are changing it’s saying that the version of software I have is outdated !!!  yeah…. Luckily I’m able to browse through the internet… but, I know eventually the current laptop I have will be so outdated that it would be able to work…. With the internet… I have  Dell Latitude I’ve had it for I’m guessing 7-8 years ago… I don’t know exactly….. but, I really want to get the latest Apple laptop Pro with all of the bells and whistles… but, that’s going to be at least $3-5 grand…. When I get it I want it to be the latest latest !!!  the next future generation….. that could connect with my iPod…. And with my iPhone, by that time I want to have my first iPhone to do the whole instagram…. I so would love to do that… reason why I don’t ???  my cell phone… it’s from 1995  !!!  a Motorola Razor flip phone…..  I believe I’ll get the latest in 2-3 yrs….. after I’m debt free….. see, right now, the latest laptops with 1 Terrabyte rom on the hard drive and 600 Gigabyte memory of ram….. going for $300-$400 with the latest software…. Etc…  I’ll be good for another 5 yrs + until I’m able to get the latest of Apple Pro Laptop…. Now, another generation is doubled or quadrupled every year !!!!  so technology is going going going super fast….. and to have an ol skool laptop that isn’t able to view YouTube any longer…. Because of an outdated internet browser….  That’s when I’m going to Explode Overnight !!!!!   YESSS !!!  YESSS !!!  and more YESSS !!!  now, I’m going to have to privatize my YouTube channel…. Only me…. Because of getting a job…. They will do a Google search of your name and browse around to see what you have online for the world to see and hear… and yes, nothing discriminating is online, but, I do have quite a bit of videos and this blog….well, I’m glad I love to write, if they are going to hire me, they’re going to have to read pages and pages of my blurbs…… blogging words…. I think…. I know I heard it somewhere…. It’s all very good, then again, I might go with an alias…. That has crossed my mind before…. If I change YouTube channels ?? I would have to worry about managing two YouTubes….. which isn’t nothing really…. But, I want my subscribers to be able to go to one source and to see my transformation from the earliest video in 2010……. In my artist loft in Chicago… looking back I wished I had some more footage of me and of my place at the time….. so, that’s why I have hours upon hours of me talking on my couch….. just talking about whatever is happening in my world and in my journey….. Documenting a slice of life of Dwu…..and I make sure I date and year stamp my videos….so when I’m browsing or anyone else could know what year and date that I had done that particular recording…..  right now I really don’t know about the gov job…… I just want to have everything ready… and prepped…. Then again after the 1st I’ll have 2 months left !!!!!   for me to get the BA….. I think I want to take a year off !!! haaa… .I basically took the last decade off !!!!  all very good… kind of sort of …. I was going to school…. You know what ???  I still want to continue with my education and to learn about videography, photoagraphy, being a broadcaster or a reporter, speaking, being a part of the Forensic Team… (Debate Team) not the Forensic Files FBY, spraying luminal and having a black light to see all of the bodily fluids splattered everywhere…. I was thinking of getting a roommate at the apartment complex across the street from College of DuPage….. that’s a city in it’self….. gym, pool, library, computers, lounges, peace, taking art and acting classes…. I would rather do that than a 8-5pm job…. Also getting back into basketball and being in shape they have a super amazing gym setup there…… and an outside track for the summer time…. And soccer field…. They have just about everything…..  the school is usually open except for holidays…. And it closes at 11pm now, versus the 24 hour lounge… back in the day…. Back in the day, they used to have a 24 hour lounge where you could study and do homework and write your reports with internet access.. I was there quite a bit, and spent many hours and hours chatting, browsing on the free dating sites….. during finals…. And other times as well… I did have a place, I was rooming at a home in Glen Ellyn…. The more I think of it…. The more I want to continue with my knowledge, to create myself….. by working out, transforming my body, and learning how to edit videos and create shows, getting into acting and comedy, getting into my artwork, being able to market my artwork and creating a “Brand”….. for me…. What am I  ?????  Who am I ????  What do I represent ???  Who do I represent ??? I want to become a master speaker ???  they have these levels of speaking classes that I would love to take and to eventually retake General Accounting or was it Managerial Accounting…. I purposely failed that class… it was a 16 week class crammed into 6 weeks… I couldn’t keep up and was too too much… for me… because at the time, I had the MGIBill and they have a policy that you can only fail only once for that particular class and if you fail again, you would have to pay for it…. Not the VA…. So I was waiting for me to be in the right time for me to retake it…..   this was approx 5-6 yrs ago !!!!  I want to finish that and possibly go for the CPA… since I’ll have my BA….. that would be best….. hunh…. Ok… hold on… here…. Ideas, instructions and directions are happening now….. ok. get a roommate to the apartment complex across the street from College of DuPage, maybe $400 per month ??? I’m guessing, most of the time I’ll be across the street, either working out, writing reports, going to acting classes, learning how to create movies and shows and to be in them…. I guess I can a part-time job…. Ok, hold on…. Let’s get this down first…. Before it flees…..ok…. here now at my Naperville Place, get a full-time job, to shut up the agency that I’m working with…. I know I know, this apartment is only meant to be a temporary while I get a good paying full-time job so that I can be self sufficient and to be able to support myself on my own… I know, I know, they want me to do well and to have a successful life….  But, I want to do all of these things ???  ok, after BA degree, get a full-time job that is walking distance or Metra train accessible, well, 1st priority is to pay off student debt…. Hopefully, by March or April, I’ll have all of the under $1000 debts will be paid for and cleared from my life…. I’m thinking either Menards, Meijers, Barnes n Noble downtown Naperville, City of Naperville ??, or Optimum Nutrition ??  you get the picture, while I’m paying off my student loan debt, also save up for a inexpensive quality reliable car…. or maybe get the short bus… then start remodel the bus into a mobile everything !!!  this will take some time… can you believe it’s been almost 2 weeks since I last worked my chest !!!!!   it’s still sore !!!!   like 2% whenever I have my arms go back to stretch out the chest/pectoral muscles… there’s pain !!!! and soreness…..!!!   now that’s some chest muscles…… !!!  tomorrow… when I wake up…. Do my morning drill, hot coffee, sit on the couch…. Hold on… p-p time…..// ok, for reals… it’s 1:42am now…. took another break… ok, before I go. Let me write down another possibility… ok, we got that right …. Got the BA and F-T job somewhere while I pay off debt, that could be at least 1 yr… the key thing is to have a full-time job… a mon-fri 8a-5p job…. And do my thang after hours….. write, take classes at COD…work out… I can either stay at the Naperville apt for a year or find a roommate in a 2 bed apt… that’s about $900+ so $450 + per month…. Or stay at the apartment and pay 1/3 of my take home pay….which would be around the same amount of me paying my share of the 2 bed apt… plus utilities…. See the place where I’m at and the program that I’m in is that “they” take care of the utilities… so far I haven’t paid extra….. extra meaning over $80 per month of the utility bill…. When I had the HDTV, I was paying the most extra was $85… so that means I was racking up $170 in utility bills  per month… so, I’m glad I’m not paying “extra”…. That sounds better, me staying for another year, while I work and save and pay off my debt…. I might continue to work and save and invest… and then possibly get the “short bus”…. And then part time work on the short bus, gutting it out and transforming into my palace…..  hunh… right now, there is no better deal or better opportunity for me to work and save and to pay off my debt…… ok, let’s say it’ll take 1 yr to be debt free and the year after that would be in the black…you know what ???  it would be best if I get that gov job ! !!  I’m just picturing myself slavin away at Meijers !!!  hauling skids and putting product on the shelves…. I want a career that could help and assist my passions !!!!  where I could use my education and my military experience to get a great paying job and not worrying about paying for a place…. We’ll see, but the place will be very frugal and just the bare minimum, a place to snore and rebuild my body….. I would be on a super fast track on taking care of the debt and to save, save, and save and invest for retirement…. I have to make up for lost time…. You know ???  I’m at the last half of my life now and I cannot afford to make another decade mistake…. How about this ??  let’s just keep on writing the ideas done and brainstorming sessions and to document them…. At the same time, I would be better off quicker if I get a gov job… asap !!!!   to use my veterans preference to my advantage… I don’t care where ???  well, almost …. I’m kind of done with the cold weather…. And snow….  Ok…. this round…. Shit, the entry level job with the gov  is like $35,000 per year… and here I am, trying to figure out what job can I work at that is close and walking distance, which at most is $10 an hour…. Which is $19,000 per year before taxes….. so, let’s see, an entry level job in the area is $10 an hour… full-time before taxes is $19,000 per year… let’s say take $5000 out for taxes… so that’s $14,000 left… 14,000 – 4620 (1/3 of take home to pay for rent) = $9,380 take home take home… yeah, you know what, let’s get the gov job… asap…. The position that I applied for an entry level position with a BA degree is $39,000  let’s say I have to pay $9000 in taxes… so $30,000 take home pay - $9900 (1/3 of take home to pay 1 yr of rent) divide by 12 = $825 per month that I would have to pay at this point it would be best if I find my own place and be sustainable and self sufficient…. with this particular job  that I applied for and haven’t heard from yet, they would provide gov housing…. Nearby….. so, I don’t have to worry about paying rent and can use that money on paying off my stud. Loan….  And then the next year, I’ll be in the black…. At this point… I might have a reliable economic car or truck…  and just work, work out and save, save, invest and pursue my passions on my off time… yeah, this is the best scenario…. !!!  ok, yeah,…  next chapter is coming…. Universe is on my side !!!!   Universe knows when my phone will be out and will make arrangements so that I will get the phone call or message stating that they want me to send them my driving records…. That is the key phrase… that means I’m in the running for the position….   I would be on the fast track…. Ok, let’s say, I could save $25,000 per year… for 5 years that’s $125,000 invested for retirement, keep on doing that until further notice…. Possibly get a short bus now…. for $2900 and take my time in transforming it…. while working full time and getting to know about my short bus… doing tune ups and preventative maintenance etc….  and possibly learn how to weld or have someone do that, while I create the blueprints for the bus… you know what ???  I can hold off until later with the short bus, they will still be producing short buses, why not get one that’s younger ???  see, if I get one soon even if I don’t really need it…. why get one now ??  I can still make plans and create a blue print for what I want to create for my road trip ride….. ok, good, so there, that’s it, it’s confirmed….. gov job asap…… anywhere !!!   preferably with gov housing included and uniforms, so I could save on clothing per year…. I’m thinking working under the U.S. Dept of the Interior umbrella….. it has to be in nature and with some seclusion… with housing included, uniform ??  it’s not a huge deal if I have to wear one, I prefer to wear one… if not that’s ok too… ok, this is my dream request a gov job with beautiful nature, housing, food and transportation included, with a full gym, pool and a vibrant and thriving spiritual community, yoga, meditation, and a roller skating rink !!!  there….. not too cold… possibly a college or a  university nearby so I could work on a masters degree !!!  I don’t know if the gov will pay for a MA, maybe in the field of where I’m working in ???   there POOF ! !!!!  that is my request to the Universe aka God !!!!   where I am easily accepted and easily promoted….  And possibly move to another location after 5-6 yrs… or not…. Depends if I grow some roots in the area…. And I could invite friends and family to visit and to come and spend some alone time with nature and beauty… // yeah, that’s it……gov job is the next step…. And that is the next goal…. Get everything ready !!!  today !!!!  dang, time flies when you’re in the flow…. It’s 2:53am now….. no bike today… it’ll be strictly walking with boots…. I finally bought some but, I believe it’s a bit to big ???  all good, I have to get some practice walking with them….  Yeah, that’s the deal…ok…. this short bus, getting a job at Barnes n Noble deal, I’m not feeling it at freakin all, or getting a job at Meijers or at Menards…. It’s all retail over here… and the most amount of $$ I can earn is $10 an hour…. Yeah…. Or nope…. Nope…. I want a career, where I could continue to improve myself and be able to be self sufficient and save and invest…  and be wise with my earnings.... yeah, ok, I know what I have to do now…. write to the CA DMV, to get a copy of my driving record from CA for my own records and then let them know that I’m applying for a gov job and that the hiring agent with the gov will be requesting an unopened driving record from the DMV to the hiring official… so there is not a 2nd middleman to forge any negative information… I have to do the same thing for IL…..  2 months till Feb 28th !!!!  oh snap, less than 2 months, it’s the 29th now…. Dec 29th…. I was doing the math from Jan 1st… not from today… ok, yes, it’s 2 months…. I want to know how many more days…. Haaa… dang, I’m really going into it hunh…???  Let’s see for motivation …. Shit !!!!  this year there is an extra day ! !!  for Feb !!!  o come on now !!!!  well, the last day of my last class is over on Feb 28th…. This coming year 2016 there is an extra day so there is a Feb 29th…. I wonder what happens to the people born on Feb 29th ????  They have a birthday every 10 yrs ???  I’m assuming it’s because of a leap year ??? Leaping to how many years ???  I don’t remember skipping every other year, I think it’s more than that, like every 5 or 10 years that we have a leap year… honestly I don’t know…. That would be a perfect Google question !!!!  gotta love Google !!!!  ok, it’s going on 3:06am now… and I’m getting a bit drowsy….. yeah, I know this is bit late…. Yesterday, I went to bet at 5am…. Well, I sort of dozed off on the couch…. All very good….. let’s call it a day and a half…. Wow !!!  I’ve been writing off and on all day ! !!!   I think I can write / type all day….. let’s take care of business when I wake up….  I want to start on my assignments and get that crackin at spend some time checking out some Dept of the Interior gov jobs…. and to find out all of the departments underneath the D.O. I..  umbrella…. And also some other gov agencies that I would work well with…. The mountain base ???  I don’t know what agency is that ???  somewhere in Colorado there is an underground base inside of a mountain….. you know what I have a feeling that I’m going to have to use an alias.   I know that I cannot continue making personal videos any longer while I’m in Gov Hands…. Ok. done…. No more Dwu… I’m going to change everything on everything…. That is online…. Poof !!!!  I have some work to do…… man, there is this super old LinkedIn account that I have my goals on…. With my name of course and location…. And pic with my uniform on…. Oh yeah….. I’m going to have to change everything now… ok…. all super good….. no matter what I will be continuing to create videos and write in my blogs…. Information will be the same but, not the actual names…. Just a heads up…. Basically, I don’t want to found in the first 3-4 pages of being Googled.  The artwork is ok….. I have some kind of pics of my artwork somewhere…. Oz ????  Hmmmmm….. no that’s a bit too obvious…. Haaaa…. If you have been reading my words here… you’ll find it…. now is the time to do some reconstructing my web presence…. Before I go any further…. Sheesh… I could just see the hiring officials going through my videos and my pics and my words…. “… yeah, especially if you have your own show !!!!  they know that I might say something negative about the agency or department etc…. which I will not do nor know not to do anything like that… to share my thoughts and feelings about the job and department… ..  Yep, here you are trying to make a name for yourself on the internet… so you spend all this time posting pics, oh snap… I have the other FB pages !!!!  oh shit…. This is going to take some time… better now than later… just have everything on disk…. Pics, posts, blurbs, posts, and videos…. Just save them…. and focus on my job and save and invest… and to continue to learn and improve myself…. Like the interview, most likely what’s going to happen, the plan is to put my foot down, I will not work a full-time job that I know that is not going to be my career, I would rather spend the time seeking the elusive and super rare Gov Job.  Yeah, that’s the plan… after my BA get a job at Barns n Noble, part-time, 16 hours a week or maybe 24 hours a week….  The off days, I’ll be at the Career Center, applying, practicing my interview skills, and phone interview skills… answering the interview questions in a professional and well thought out manner…. That’s the plan !!!!  nope, the Gov Job is the final goal, as soon as I get hired, I’m out…. I will let you know what I’m doing, what jobs I’m applying for, it’s going to take full-time hours and OT to get that full-time Gov Job.  Especially when it’s the Law !!!!!  to hire a veteran over someone else who is also qualified and I also get a Veterans Preference points… I don’t know exactly how that all works… bottom line, I have the advantage over other non-veteran candidates.  That is the bottom line….. ok…. that’s the GP… Game Plan…. Let’s get some good rest and brush and floss and hit the rack…. Infinite Love and Gratitude… asta…


December 29, 2016  5:01pm, MMP Naperville, IL

Yes, I’m here… I did not go to the library today…. It was a lazy day today, which I’m going to make up this evening… I was trying to integrate my thoughts and ideas from yesterday….. today, I will be writing for 30 min… and then Boom Boom Pow !!!   It’s time to start crackin with my studies and assignements… I took a  power nap after I at…. I must get back to a normal schedule…. I went to bed at 4am earlier today….. I got up ar around 10am….tried to wake up a bit, but, wasn’t feelin it…. I finally decided to eat and after the meal, I went to take a power nap, at around 12:45pm….. and got up at around 2pm….it’s ok, it’s all good, I was thinking on what would be best to “disappear” from the internet while I’m on my job search… because I know that this will be somewhat an issue, if I have a huge internet presence when being considered for the job….. I just know that this is the next step….. I feel better typing… I like this…. It is relaxing and I’m able to write whatever….. 2016 is coming !!!  yeah, I really want to kick some ass and to make a dent in my studies and to be ahead not behind… and I don’t do well being rushed… so this time I will put away my files, clear off the table and do my assignments….. I’m might have to post date it…. maybe…. Thank you….. thank you!!!!  I know I’m off to see the next chapter in my life….. I’m ready…. I want to be what I was created to be…. I do feel sad about Bodhi Spiritual Center, I didn’t even get a response back from the instructor and it’s ok and it’s all good… I know that Bodhi will have it’s own journey…..  Last time I was there it felt like a ghost town and everything had changed…. And everyone came up to me for me to help out…. Here I am, the first time at Bodhi after a year !!!  I had 5 people come up and say, “what are doing right now??’”… I just basically said, Dang, relax, this is my 1st time after a year, and they all want me to sign up to volunteer for something…. I just want to soak up the service and meditation….. yeah,…. We’ll see what’s going to happen in the future, I know that almost all of the Bodhi Practitioners left to do their own ministry…. And now they have to move by Sept 2016….. ??  I don’t know what’s going to happen ???  all is very well though…. And Mark Anthony Lord is partnering up with other former Bodhi Practitioners on doing their own deal…. It seemed like Poof !!!  everyone disappeared….hey, it’s all good ya know, it’s part of the journey…. Same with me and everyone else…. Let’s kick ass in my assignments….. dang, it’s already 5:19pm…. Ok, this is it, let’s make 6pm… ok….for reals…. I want to do this tonight !!  as much as I can tonight and tomorrow ???  shit tomorrow is New Years Eve….. right ???  today’s the 29th, tomorrow is the 30th, then 31st….ahhhh New Years Day is the 1st of Jan right ???  so New Years Eve is the the 31st…. ok…. just making sure, to see if the library will be open…. My cell is out now…. I’m done with that deal…. Having my cell phone shut off, I’m glad I still have it though… it was lost, I left it at the library…. It was there for a few days… during Christmas… all good…. I just need to be more aware on my calls… just mandatory calls…. And confirmations… with mom picking me up for Zumba… tomorrow I’ll msg her on FB…. To let her know I’m down for some Zumba on Fri…. something is going on I believe on New Years Eve….. I’m glad I had applied for the gov job already, it’s like going out with a girl for the first time… You don’t know exactly what to do and you don’t know what’s going to happen…. And you don’t know if you’re doing well or not…. I haven’t got a clue on how I’m doing with the application process, whether or not if I’m being considered or not…. But, it’s making me get ready and to get prepared…. So, the next job that I apply for will be much more efficient ….. Looking back I could’ve changed my cover letter, stating why they were some gaps in my resume and also for the lack of “Recommendations from the last managers”… ummm, he died ???  that’s why I don’t’ have any recommendations and that I had left “The Lodge”… hey, it is what it is ….. I did manage to scan all of my Letters of Recommendations, which sounded Absolutely Incredible… it’s like 11 yrs ago !!! haa…. But, still I gave them something ….  I just want to take care of business…. For the month of Jan I know I must be saving some $$ for the next coming class and textbook….. which starts on Jan 25th…… ok…. feeling much better now….  since I know what I should be doing now… and to stay where I’m at right now, and not to be so impatient to leave and go….  That’s the deal, If I don’t have a gov job lined up by March 1, 2016…. Work Part-time at Barnes n Noble in Downtown Naperville and get ready for employment and for the interviews and with my appearance as far as clothing… like a suit…. I still don’t know how they will do the interviewing… by phone ???  by Skype, I’m in Chicagoland and they are in Nageezi, NM….. or Sante Fe,  NM is where my application package has been sent to…   I’m sure I’ll eventually find out somehow and some way….. all good…..  I hope a I get a great planner… My case manager asked me what I wanted for Christmas well, she meant for the New Years…. I told her a planner…. The planners these days are pretty pricey….. but, whatever I get will be just perfect….. Adapt, Improvise and Overcome….. the motto of the Marine Corps….  Let’s do this…. I want to do as much of the assignments as I can tonight….. I have hot coffee (well it’s cold now) food, milk, mashed potatoes…. I wanted to go to the food pantry today, tomorrow…. I’m on E with the money and I wont get food stamps until Jan 9th, so, this will be a good time for me to hit up the food pantry…. Before New Years…. All very good….. that sounds very good, I noticed that they cleared up the sidewalks…. YESSS… last year “they” contractors didn’t do the side walks…. So I was walking my baby stroller on the street… not a big deal…. But, safety wise… I live on a curved road and people speed on this street, with snow and ice… my mountain bike is here in the apartment safe and warm… yep, I do not ride my bike in the below freezing, snow, ice, sleet, and flurries…. I would rather walk…. It’s going to get pretty cold this week like the 20’s !!!!!   yikes…..  like today, it’s not a life or death that I didn’t go to the library today… I believe I have everything I need to complete the assignments here….. I’ll write my letter to the CA DMV, here on my thumb drive….or yeah, I need $5 to send them…. after the 1st… !!!  I sent everyone else  a letter that I needed to send….. Life !!!  what is it ???   Life here on this Incredible Amazing Planet Earth !!!  we are living at the same time here on planet Earth…. Out of all of the many generations and past civilizations that was on Planet Earth, we are here in this one….. Why ???  for what purpose ???  ok, time is creeping up… it’s 5:47pm… at 6pm I’m about to find out what exactly I must do for the discussion questions, assignments, reports the whole shebang, then week 5 assignments…. Ok, here we go, it’s coming up… I’m just grateful for absolutely everything, I know I’m not perfect….  I just want to be on the fast track…. It looks like that yes, I’ll be having a different name once I get hired…. Or maybe before…. All is very well…. All is very good….. I’m just going to clear off my desk aka table and have only the papers and books that I need, and just knock it out, one by one…. Until fineeto.. …. Today is Tuesday…. Dec 29th, 2015…… days before 2016….. all good… I’m ready for the new and improved New Year of 2016…….  Ok, it’s about that time for to get cracka-lackin…. Brb later on…..possibly… much love, dang, I want to say my name but, knowing that I’ll be googled, I’m going to use Divinitus Warrious Universalis, dwu, ok, there, now let’s write another 20 pages to camouflage this new info for you….. cool, much love in the club, dwu…. Yeah, the feels much better, I know because I’m used to signing my name or my initials… but, now, this all has to change…. You have the key now,,,, I will not say this again… I’m going to have to change and edit the title, the description etc…. wherever my name is that will be replaced…. Kapeesh…ok… let’s do this edumacation deal…… much love, dwu…brb ….

Dec 30, 2016 Wed 2:51am   MMP Naperville, IL

This will be a quick one…. I’ve completed 3 assignments tonight…. While I was writing and typing up during one of the assignments…… I said, “Fuck it—I’m going to Chile”  all this fear based bull shit wanting me to stay at one place and to get a “Good Paying Job”…..  to accept safety and security over adventure and freedom, I can’t do it…. this whole getting a Gov Job, never really settled with me…. So, the plan now is BA, P-T job, I will be seeking a job in Santiago, Chile or maybe get my warehouse…. We’ll see, I can’t wait anymore…. I told papi that I was going to visit him about 8 years ago…. I haven’t seen him in years… and I miss him very much, every time I think about him, my soul gets instantly sad.  This is the perfect time for me to go….  That would be Absolutely Amazing !!!!  I’m in Chile Biatch…… so, I just wanted to say that !!!  and to prepare for my departure….  I would rather loan or take care of my stuff while I’m gone….. best thing is to write a list and have pictures of what I need to have stored or used or read.  I’m going to have to get rid of a lot of misc…. which is very good, I want to start over…. Honestly I want to transform myself and to learn espaniol…… it’s time… I will check the USA Gov Jobs to see if there is any jobs in Santiago, Chile…. I can possibly work at the U.S. Embassy in Santiago, Chile… ???  that’s a possibility…. I’ll check it out….  Or some adventure company in Patagonia !!!!  that would be very cool !!!  I want to bring my bike !!!  I’m also going to see about possibly getting a container a small one, also get in touch with Rosie…. Not only to see her and her familia but, if there was any paperwork for me to become a dual citizenship…. I’m going…. No Ifs and’s or but’s…..  I just wanted to say that today… I’m done with the old self… I don’t know when or if I’ll be coming… you know what ??? I think I should write some Golden Nuggets from the books that I have as a reference…. And post it on my blogs…. Hunh, because I know I’m not going to be able to transport all of my books…… and other misc…. I do want my tools, my brushes, my clothes, shoes…. Ok, this is what I’m thinking right now, Stick around as much as I can and get rid of all of the things I won’t be able to bring…. Let me find out what I can and cannot bring… by paying for a container, I remembered papi, did something similar, a long time ago…. I think it was a very small box…. ??   my canvass too… I want to be able to bring that….. let me find out… continue to finish the BA, and go to the ceremony in May… I will only have a p-t job, while continuing to seek employment in Chile !!!  not Naperville…. I think I might have to keep this under wraps…. Oh by the way, I’ve decided to go to Chile…..  I want to give the agency as much notice as possible, they just might kick me out….  // yeah, between you and me…. Let’s do this…. It’s Time Now …… before I go, I want to talk with Taz, he’s blowin up big time, traveling the world !!!!  DJ’ing….  I want to start up something like Club Divine in Santiago, Chile… we’ll see… 1st and foremost, I do have a game plan and that is to get out of debt…. Hunh…. Maybe get a “Good Job” until I paid off my debt ??? hunh, that’s another possibility, b/c I know it’ll take some time for me get a job or not… ??? anything could happen…. But since, I’m already here…. This means, that I could plan a little bit more…. Hunh ??   so maybe save and pay off debt asap, now, after the BA, get a full-time something, I hate saying that, I just picture myself at Meijers… (grocery store) putting bottles of mayonnaise onto the shelving units…. // we’ll see right ??  I don’t know right now…. or maybe just get a $500 warehouse !!!!  and bust ass with my artwork, I’m going to have to “sleep” there ????  hunh ??  we’ll see…. I don’t know what’s up with my doubts and fears ????  I’m never like this…..  if I get a job, it will take a while, let’s see if I get hired or not ??  Fuck That Shit !!!!  NO  MORE !!!!  I tell you what…. Let’s get that warehouse at bust ass with my paintings !!!  I must do that !!!!  UNIVERSE !!!!!!   Hook it up Big Time !!!!  I’m Coming Home !!!!!  Pitch Black Blind Faith !!!!!!   ok ????   I haven’t been using any of my Faith Muscles lately….. so they are very weak and haven’t been worked on…. It’s time to start working on my Faith Muscles !!!!   that’s it….. all this doubting shit…. Is making me sick…. I’m not ever like that…. I’m going to Explode into the Heavens !!!!   and do the plan that I had created years ago !!!  well, maybe a few months ago, I wrote a plan on how I’m going to sell and create my Amazing Masterpieces….1st year $100,000  something like that… I know it’s possible and I know I can do it, if I just have that warehouse….. ok, I’m not going to give up just yet….. let’s check out the warehouses in Lombard at the Belmont Metra Station, which is only a few stops towards Chicago….  Ok, I’m still here, plan for today, get some food !!!  at the food pantry come home eat, power nap and continue with my assignments…. And possibly go to the library… or not…. I want to be ahead with my assignments….. so checking email and FB doesn’t have priority now….. just this class that I’m talking…. Infinite Love and Gratitude, dwu…..


Wed December 30, 2015 10:04pm…… MMP Naperville, IL 

Hey !!!  What’s happenin !!!   today was a great day !!!  woke and got up around 12 noon, did my couch smokey thang with coffee…. New Years Eve is in less than 2 hours !!!  I’m going to make some slight changes…. And it’s 2 whole months till I’m done !!!!   the last day of the last class is Feb 28, 2016…. I was on my way out with my safety vest and my baby stroller…. And I peaked outside and mom just arrived !!!!  yes, my cell phone is out… so we couldn’t communicate with each other…. I was on my way out to the Naperville Fish and Loaves with my baby stroller, walking, so I was happy to see her and she gave me a ride to the food pantry and see how much food I get…. For free…. Usually, I would walk to the pantry, which isn’t the tough, but, since she’s here… we got to hang out for a few hours than afterwards we had coffee and I told her that last night while I was doing one of my assignments, I said, “Fuck it—Let’s go to Chile”….  And I told her that the “warehouse would always come up”…. If I only had a warehouse I would be building some massive and some Amazing Paintings !!!   and that I know I could do this…. I already know, what I need to get, the process of creating 25 paintings per month… size 7ft x 5ft…..  and already know that I can do this…. 1st week will be strictly building 25 blank ready to painted on canvasses and the rest of the 3 weeks would be painting the 25 paintings… having a hose with water to soak up the canvasses… this is how I start one of masterpieces…. I paint by layers…. It will be somewhat like a production line…. After I’m done with one I go to the other one to let the other painting dry and then paint kind of like a big circle…. By the time I come around to the 1st painting it’ll be dry and ready for me to continue painting….. also, I can sell my huge blank canvasses to other artists…. Since the costs is so low, for a 7ft x 5ft blank canvass would cost me no more than $20, I haven’t done the pricing with the amount of canvass involved… and sell it for $299  a handmade construction grade canvass that will last for 1000’s of years….. mom, couldn’t believe how much food I was able to get…. A lot of bread… I’m breaded out, but, with the meats… since they are going to close for the next 5 days, they really wanted to get rid of a lot of misc…. good food…. You do have to be careful with the perishibles… like the greens… and fruits…. Yeah, I had to throw away some food, because it was bad, I know this, but the volunteers don’t really know, that it would be best to get the greens and fruits on your own at the store versus at the food pantry, because the greens we over due about 2 days…. Yeah…. And I don’t feel like getting sick… just because I ate some questionable perishables…. I told mom, that “I Have To Do This”…… get any kind of warehouse….. I did see one for $500 per month, near a gym where I could work out and take showers and freshen up…… that’s the plan, is for me to “sleep” and work in the warehouse….. then the debt deal would come up and the apartment that I’m living in, that I have been super blessed with this apartment, a one bedroom apartment and the utilities are paid for…. Luckily so far ever since I got rid of my HDTV I haven’t had to pay extra….. the agency pays for at least $80 in utilities per month, anything above $80 I would have to pay…. There were a few times where I had to pay an extra $85-$90 !!!  it was during the HDTV time…. Where I would watch 25-30 dvd’s per week….. so the HDTV was on for at least 22 hours a day and sometimes 48 hours at time…. I know I’ve mentioned this before, and this is where I would sit on the couch and veg out watching dvd’s and movies… and gaining weight….. from Feb through Oct 3, 2015…… almost the whole year….. I was 100% sedentary….. and got up to 394 lbs…. Holy Moly Hunh….. almost 400 lbs…… crazy….. I’m about 356 lbs now… from the last time I weighed myself at moms during Christmas… the key deal is slow progression, not like the weight weekly shows, that shows how many lbs you lost during that week…. 1 lb a week is super cool for me, so I’m not shocking my body, it has to be a progression, the skin needs to have time to conform to your new body and physique…. All very good… though… and yes, I want to work out…. At the same time, I want to make sure I’m doing well in my class and studies and papers…. So tonight, I’m going to start cracking on some of them… I want to everything that doesn’t require for me to use the internet b/c I don’t have internet at my place…. So, tomorrow, the plan is to go Naperville Library, to watch a video that is part of the assignment….   I also told mom that I haven’t been using my Faith muscles lately….. and told mom that the whole gov job deal, is a fear based choice….   It was because I didn’t have faith that I would make it as an artist, actor, or comedian…. Well, let’s start with the artwork…. And the warehouse, that always keeps poppin up….. I would be working non-stop and would having a blast !!!   I know I would regret this if I did not do this 1st…. and I know what’s going to happen when March 1st comes…. Hunh….. we’ll see…. MCA popped up…. (Museum of Contemporary Art) as an Installer they have a special name a Prepartory ??  something like that, but an assistant…. We’re dealing with millions of dollars of artworks and sculpture that the museum had acquired……  I would be hanging up the paintings and installing the sculptures etc…. or in the beginning helping out…. And learn as I go…. It would be a F-T permanent position with benefits and many hookups and bells and whistles…. The deal is with that one is that the museum is in the heart of Chicago Magnificent Mile and I would have to get there every morning ??  well, we’ll see right, I would rather get a local great paying job, so that I can pay off my debts…. And then save up for the 2nd year and possibly the year after that…. And then get a warehouse on my own and take it from there…..  Where is my Pitch Black Blind Faith in all of this !~!!!!   there isn’t any…… I want to work out my FAITH !!!!!  KNOWING !!!!!!!   Absolutely 1000% Knowing that this will work and I will explode into the Heavens….. an absolute overnight success….. get my graphic artist team, photographers, videographers, to market my artworks… to the world !!!!  making commercials….. radio commercials, the whole shebang !!!!   I want this NOW !!!!!    and it all starts with having a warehouse where I could make some hammering noise and music while I create and built canvasses and paint… God / aka Universe wants to show the world what we can do together…..  God is painting through my body… it’s all God…. God / Universe wants to Shock the World !!!!   I want to have everything a secret…. Maybe 6 months of busting ass building canvasses and painting them, have about 100 7ft x 5ft paintings all throughout the warehouse…  with great lighting etc…. getting ready for the unveiling…..  we’re going to have such a huge media circus out here…. In the fall, where it’s comfortable, National Geographic, all of the art mags and publications, all of the art critiques, art collectors, all of the high society, other famous artists… the whole shabang…..with media coverage, video, ABC News, CNN, Fox Everybody !!!!!  and Everyone !!!  even cable !!!!!   all of the cable stations…. With news etc……. the whole Universe will know about Oscar Zepeda….. 100+ paintings surrounded with never before seen colors, shapes, designs….  The Great Unveiling of Oscar Zepeda;  Hmmmm. What doya think ???   the next galaxy over will know about Oscar Zepeda….. Wow !!!!   What happened to my Pitch Black Blind Faith !!!!??????    its time to start using my Faith Muscles !!!!!   and to expect that thee One Who Created the Heavens and the Earth, is in me, using me…. wants to inspire everyone here on planet Earth.  So that’s about it… for now… let’s play the game in keeping the apartment till I absolutely have to move…. There is no other place like this apartment for the amount of money that I’m paying,,,, this place is a Godsend … nothing but, God gave me this place…… I know I have to my part with the place, doing what I can creating my artwork… which I haven’t been doing…. But, will be… 1st is my studies….. 2 more months…..  or make sure that I’m ahead of the ball and then do some artwork… etc…. also with the real job search, I want it to be local….. Naperville, I know eventually I’m going to have to get a vehicle…. Maybe the “short bus” ????  it’s $2900, and I could hire a welding specialist…. Having that side art, window, mirror, carrier deal…. Ok…. it’s coming together…. It’s like a 1000 piece puzzle that’s been mixed up….. and you try to put it together….. you know that a certain thing or process, for ex: the short bus…. , warehouse, job, debts, etc…. it’s like putting together a puzzle and a timeline, trying to figure out which action and choice to do next….. for example, March 1st 2016….. when I’ll be finished with the BA…. Hmmmm… full-time job or a p-t job local, walking/bike distance or in the city where I could use my pass ??  what about the 3 hours on being on the train per day.. ??? and working out ???  VA, I want to contact the VA…. Preferably before March 1st 2016…. But, at the same time I don’t sidetracked or distracted from the last class…. no matter what happens this is thee #1 Priority Now !!!!   passing and doing well in these classes….. I know that as soon as I’m done with these classes, the “Agency” wants my ass working ???  full-time, I know they want me to be on my own…. Maybe this is it ???  to start paying some real rent… they are saying… you know what though, they are being scrutinized from the higher ups…. What are “they” (meaning me) doing ???  How are they going to be on their own ??  Are they working ???  I think that’s what they want…. is to some progress here, since it’s been 3 years here already !!!  Dang, 3 years…. Already ????  yeah, I can see why they are done with me changing my educational goals and plans….  So, let’s play the game, let’s do something that I like, focus on “Gazelle Intensity” (from Dave Ramsey on taking care of your debts)….  I did see O’Reilly warehouse that is hiring…. Which is kinda close… with a bike would be good with the roads salted…. And free from ice and snow…. I could walk, it is walking distance, like ½ a mile….  So, I have my eyes peeled open…. Maybe downtown Naperville, at the Barnes n Noble, with that it’ll be Part-time…. I want full-time plus OT !!!!!   to knock out that debt… ok…. // I would rather, keep this apartment, because I know for a fact, I won’t be paying what I’m paying anywhere in the world.  It would be best if it was walking distance… so I don’t have to worry about traffic and getting a car, once the debt is paid off, it depends on how much I’ll be making…. As a full-time employee, working full-time hours… I would like to get a “professional office” job ??? but, we’ll see…. It may not be walking distance, we’ll see, I did see some other companies near the Fish and Loaves that I haven’t really checked out….  It’ll come…. Universe is on it…..  ok, lemme see here… it will take less than a year for me take care of my debts… the only thing is that I must pay 1/3 of my pay to the agency… I believe its take home pay…. Post taxes…. So, most likely it’ll be around $300 - $400 per month… which is still a steal for a one bedroom with $80 worth of utilities being paid….  Yeah, I checked it out already, in the surrounding area, the price for a one bedroom ,they are no studio apartments in Naperville that should tell you something…. That means no broke students living here !!!!  So a one bedroom, is at LEAST  $900 per month + utilities…. So that $300-$400 for everything is looking Real Good !!!!   and won’t mind paying that amount when I’m working…. Plus, I’ll still qualify for Food Stamps, Bus and Train Pass, hunh…. I was thinking when would be the best time to get the VA involved into my business ???  I’m thinking after I’m debt free, by this time, I’ll have a “short bus” possibly painting in all black…. Putting all of the necessities on it, getting ready to transport huge paintings…. Also the inside and outside…. Shit $2900 …. You can’t beat that !!!  


January 1, 2016 Fri 8:07pm  MMP Naperville, IL

Happy New Year !!!    just now getting up and doing some writing… was listening to the radio for a few hours and then going back to power napping…. It’s been literally a lazy day….. went to be at around 5:30am… I fell asleep on the couch and woke up and went to bed at 5:30am, woke up to some knocking at the door, my neighbor, he gave me $20… well, we help each other out, usually during at the end of the month, where $$  and smokes are very scarce… basically the $20 was for two packs of Newports 100’s and 5 ones…. Yeah, he cleaned me out…. All good, he does pay me back… I thought he was going to forget about the 1st pack which was about a week and a half ago… I even forgot about it…. then he came up to see if I had some smokes… I didn’t I was about to get some as soon as I got up…. When I went I got him his own pack versus smoking some of mine….. then, 10 min later he came up to see if I had the receipt for the Newports he needed some cash for some gas…. I didn’t save the receipt…. And I just gave him what I had which was $5…. And not to worry….. I didn’t do anything for New Years…. Very low key, didn’t spend any money, didn’t go drinking… etc…. very very low key…. Was thinking about my studies….. and then today, when I got up, ate some muffins from the food pantry and decided to take a power nap on the couch, didn’t get up till 3:30pm…. Ate and warmed up some coffee had a smoke and then went back to power napping….. till about 10 min ago….. I’m kinda up right now….. listening to some NPR was, I’m listening to some hip hop dance mixes now…. all good…. Yeah, I’m not going to do anything tonight, just write…… and to sleep early… like 12am….. tomorrow is Sat…. and I want to take care of my assignments…. I know I’ve been saying that for a while…. Like all week, but, it’s true… I truly thought that I had already completed Week 3… nope…. Luckily I made sure that I decided to check out the assignments…. So I have Week 3, Week 4 and Week 5 !!!!  3 more weeks !!!!  ok…. I might call it an early writing session, so I could complete Week 3…. And then tomorrow Week 4….. if I have to go to the library, to see some internet video….. I will…… New Years Resolutions /???  Make sure I do well with my studies…. I really want to go to some kind of bootcamp…. Out of my comfort zone…. Like Marine Corps Boot Camp…..  3 months plus.. I was in the Pork Chop Platoon….. loosing weight and getting stronger so I could do the 3 pull ups… I’m thinking about at least 4 months…. Friday… you know what???  Let’s hook it up tonight !!!  do as many assignments that I can that I don’t need to get on the internet…. Just with all of the books that I have now… yess… that’s much better….ok…. brb… later…. I feel like taking care of some educational business……  the last day of this class that I’m taking is……. 1/24/16…. Technically 20 days… after the 4th… I start back up on the 4th Jan  in 3 days….this coming Monday…yeah, let’s do this…. Much love, dwu…..




Jan 2, 2016  Sat 8:36pm  MMP  Naperville, IL

It’s already night time, been a very low key day today, for some reason, when I wake up and eat something, I feel tired enough to lay down on the couch for a “power nap” I wake up a few hours later, do the same thing, eat something and feels tired enough for me lay down again, until I actually got up and listening to talk radio….. so basically, I’ve been sleeping and eating all day… mostly sleeping, I was eating like a muffin with some milk and with some chips with guacamole with juice, nothing like a Thanksgiving meal…. I feel awake now and it’s 8:41pm now…. tomorrow will be Sunday….I don’t know what it is but, I feel like listening to some UFO related information…. Like that radio show Coast to Coast…. And to find out what’s going on now…. for the new year…. I will be only be writing for a lil bit here, because I do want to finish up Week 3…. There is a 500 word paper that I just started late last night, and wanted to finish it today…. Kinda like sometime in the daytime….  I’m glad we did have a break, I wasn’t super stressing about completing these assignments and taking my time… cell phone is up… I did check to see how many minutes…. Something is way off, I know I don’t use 250 min per month on the phone… just play with it… ya know, it’s a game….. like a virtual reality video game, they say you have 250 min per month but, in actuality it’s only 30 min !!!  that’s what it feels like…. All very good….. yeah, I was thinking…. What if I do get that Nageezi, NM job.. ?? I haven’t heard anything yet, mostly because my phone was out and I haven’t checked my email since about 2 weeks ago now… tomorrow I do want to go to the library… to possibly get some ufo cd’s or to download some podcasts from Coast to Coast…. I don’t know, I just feel a tug in this direction… also with …….. um…… Romanek !!!   I can’t remember his first name now…. it’ll come…. All good… what also is popping up is that Canadian High Ranking Official, not the prime minister, but some high level government official, that he mentioned that there are 3 types of ET’s…  and he said it with 100% conviction and confidence in front of Congress… It was the Disclose organization, that we the U.S. is the only country that hasn’t disclosed any of the UFO and ET related reports, documents and videos and eye witness accounts…. Something Disclosure org… so they had about 10 retired high official gov from Canada, Mexico, and the U.S. I believe Mexico ???  I don’t know about that one, but, I do know that Mexico had disclosed…. Yeah, I’m just thinking, because of the New Year, what my plan is… then I thought about writing a proposal to the Pritzker Family, about me creating these Amazing pieces of artwork that will Wow The World !!!  the Pritzker Family, owns the MCA, the Museum of Contemporary Art…. And the family is worth a couple billion dollars or so ???  I don’t  know the details on their financial worth, but, I do know, that they could get me a warehouse for me to create the masterpieces…..  and that is all I am asking, just enough space for me to built and create my pieces of artwork…..  then, I thought, ok, since, I’m going to stick around here in Chicagoland I might as well work for the MCA full-time while I pay off my debt and also create artworks…… all these possibilities… then the wild card would come up, just get the short bus, gut it out and travel the world and go to the Transformational Festivals, like migrating, like the birds and during the winter time, I’ll be in Long Beach, CA at the Metra Flex Gym and to other Metro Flex Gym in Arlington, TX and go to “the Potter’s House” where Bishop T.D. Jakes is at……. Or just go to Chile, to find a job there ???  and still pay off my debts…. And possibly start a business there ??  art, Club Divine, just a P-T, deal, or work at the MCA, while going through the VA, or not working for MCA and going through the VA business program, if I need training, they will pay for it… I don’t know the exact details, but, if the business or job requires me to get a MA in art, they can help out…. Then a thought about Columbia college came up, about becoming a host, news casting, something in front of the camera, and to learn about radio, video and commercials….. Shit !!!   I don’t know what to do !!!    then again, what about friends and family here ???  I want to fucking roller skating at Orbit !!!!!    Dag Gone It !!!!  it’s been years now !!!   I’m fed up….. I also want to be in the best shape in my entire life ???  what about that ???   get a minivan or the short bus, or maybe do a combination, get the short bus, go through the VA deal, on helping me setup a business and also getting the education and training while creating artworks in a warehouse….. the $500 per month warehouse that I saw on Craigslist…. I told mom, if it’s still there, I’m getting it…. I have to, I must….  What up my travels ???  what up the place here ???  I know that as soon as I’m done with the last class, the agency wants my ass working full-time…. And eventually be on my own…. This is their goal and mine too…. I know that once I start working full-time they are going to want 1/3 of my take home pay….. I’m not complaining about that, I just know that if it goes about $500 I would want that amount going towards a warehouse…. As a mentioned before, the cheapest 1 bed apartments would be at least $850 per month plus utilities… I’m guessing no more than $80 per month….. because I haven’t paid extra for the past 2 months…. Then I think about papi in Chile,….. shit, I told him I was going to visit him about 7 years ago…. And what about the Kwajalean Atoll job ???  haaa, haven’t heard anything from them…. I applied for their Painter job…. Painting buildings, how hard can that be ???  yeah, I know…..  just 2 years over there would do me good…. Pay off the debt the 1st year and the 2nd year save, save, invest….. shit, I don’t know…. Then other gov jobs….. underneath the Dept of the Interior umbrella, dealing or working with nature but, not having to wear the Park Ranger uniform, I’m not objecting the wearing of the uniform, but, it would be kinda cool if I could get a lil bit dirty here in there, and not having to worry about pressing or ironing everyday…. I don’t know, I’m just thinking out loud right now, then again, I just thought of taking some time off, to take care of me, working out, being with nature and the mountains, pursuing some acting and commercials…… Whewwwwwww…. I gotta lot of shit on my mind humh ?????   Starting on the 4th of Jan, I’ll have 20 days of the class left…… then the next and final class starts on the 25th of Jan…. yes, this month, I must be able to pay for the class and the book or at least rent the book….. which was a great idea for the Econ-101 class…. ohhh my, I’m sooo glad that class is done……. Whewwwww… I truly thought I was going to fail that class….. and I did !!!!  for about 2 weeks !!!!  something happened with the time and dates of the class and the instructor thought the class was over 1 week before what the website said…..  so, bottom line, I received a C….. I was hoping for at least a B… but, hey, I’m just glad…. It’s official and it’s done with..  what to do when the last class is up ???  should I do pursue MCA ???  pursue the gov job ???  take that Alaskan Inuit job ???  dealing with the Eskimos !!!!   ummmm… I don’t think so… .I need some warmer weather…..  I would rather be in Death Valley National Park….. we’ll see… or maybe something in the middle… like Nageezi, NM…….  After this month, sometime in February I want to get an updated laptop, updated meaning, today’s technology….. versus this laptop about 10 years ago !!!!   well almost, I do see I’m using Microsoft Word 2007….. so 9 years !!!   not the one that I really want, but, something that’ll get the job done until debt is paid off…. I want to be able to upload videos and be able to use certain software programs, every time I go unto YouTube, I get that warning window, stating that my software is outdated and must download the latest version of Firefox or Explorer….. I have about 4 gigabytes worth of memory left….. which sounds a lot,  but, I know it’ll go quick if decide to rip my T.D. Jakes cd’s…..  I have a total of 74 Gigabytes worth of memory on the hard drive, a pretty big feat from about 9 years ago…. I know I must get in touch with Marwan and his family…… I haven’t talked with him in a long time…… I know…. .same with some of my family members…..  it’s 9:36pm now, and it’s time to take care of business with my assignments… it’ll be the last one for Week 3… .my game plan was to finish everything including all of Week 5….let’s do this already, I want to do as much as I can without the use of the internet…… do all those assignments and papers later….. ok ???  Infinite Love and Gratitude, dwu

Ok, I’m back ! !!!  just finished another assignment !!!  yeah buddy,… now, it’s Jan 3, 12:05am…. Sunday !!!!   sorry Bodhi !!!   aint gonna happen….  I do feel notso good, but, I know that I have to do what I have to do…. Since my phone is up and running I do want to go to Sunday’s Zumba !!!!  there is a new schedule somewhere !!!  or not, I want to do complete as many assignments that doesn’t require the internet, while I’m here, fully awake at 12:06am !!!!  haa…. I guess I’m a night owl ???  yeah, you know what ???   as far as the future ???  after the BA ???  if I don’t have a gov job by March 1st, 2016, I will get a Part-time job at Barns and Noble while I continue to get that gov job…..  I know for a fact that once I get that gov job, I’ll be able to go on the fast track lane….. Fast Track on getting my debts paid off within a year, be able to save, save, save, invest, invest, I do have some lost time to make up in the investment dept…. then fund my passions…. Get that top of the line Apple Pro Laptop….. , with the top of the line camera with video, create my paintings, produce shows, be in the best shape, rollerskating and body building…. Etc…. and DJ’ing, all of this requires $$.....   also writing books, having some mail order businesses… I want to create a business about all of the information that were banned in the past… kind of like an underground secret mail order business, that sells, books, cd’s and videos about the future, the past, kind of like Ancient Aliens…. For the next generation….. also possibly a Get Rich Quick Book so that I could sell to get rich…. Haaa… that’s how you get Rich Quick is to sell something to a lot of people….. oh yeah, the memories…. My whole goal back then was to get every get rich quick program available and then create a business that does just that….. “the Secret Plan”….. and make millions….. well, after about a decade of trial and error, mostly all error’s I finally realized that there isn’t a Get Rich Quick Program, there is a gradual and a Get Rich Slowly Program….. and that is of Dave Ramsey….. me and ma are going to see him at Willow Creek Church on Jan 12th !!!!!   yeah buddy…. Ok…. I do want to finish up another assignment…. This is cool, to know that you’re ahead of the game…. And I don’t have that last second stress, holy shit, I have to turn it in in 2 hours type situation….. nope, do the shit ahead of time and ahead of schedule and you’ll be more relaxed and stress and pressure free…… You know what ??? I think I might have my gov job a part-time hobby…. And to do my own thing full-time… you know what I’m trying to say, even though the gov job will technically be full-time, I will use the job to my advantage…… mostly the $$$ part, 2nd the consistent $$ income flow to where I could invest…. Possibly 80% of my income and to possibly get some land to build my cabin…. Like a secret hideaway, Batman Cave ???  cabin and some space !!!!  where I can build my Infinite Creations….. no matter how this road will lead to, I will Wow the World !!!!!   could be in Chicago or it could be in Nageezi, NM……. I don’t know…. I do know that I must complete what is in front of me and that is this current class and the last class for me to receive the BA degree…. Who knows ???  maybe the VA will fund my MA…. But, you know what ???  I want that debt disappeared asap !!!!   not a moment later…. NOW !!!!!   for this month, I know I must reserve some $$$ for the last class and book…. I want to get ahead of that, next week…. When everyone is back from Christmas Break….. I know I still need to pay for the infamous “Degree Audit” which is $125 …. Haaa…. Yep, I should’ve just asked mom for the $$ back then…. Nope, I had to wait 5 years later, 3 classes later and about $3000 of tuition and books later to finally get it….. I was hard headed… then…. Just take care of it now…. regardless of what you have to do and pay.. … just take care of it and finish it already…. Oh boy !!!  this will mean a lot…. You know what ???  I can do ???  I can do the Transformational Festivals Circuit, during the winter time go to CA and TX….while I pay off my debts ????  this will take a lil bit longer… I don’t know exactly, do I really know that ???  lately I’ve noticed that my Faith Muscles are very weak…… all this planning and what if I don’t get this and that.    Hmmmm…. All is very well….. I do want to fall in love….  And to build a family of my own….   I would love to reconnect with some past loves but, I know that I’m not ready right now….. all is very well… ok.  let me go back to my assignment… ..much love, dwu


4th January 2016, Mon 12:26pm  MMP Naperville, IL

Greetings Everyone !!!!   Sunny  and cloudy afternoon, they say some snow will be coming down, 1-2 inches…. Which isn’t nothing really…. I woke up about 30 min ago… and I just tried to pay for the Graduation “Degree Audit”…. Yeah, I have been familiar with the dept, it’s a one person operation, and they are at lunch now… so at 1pm I will give them another try…. I filled out the information only, but, haven’t paid them… I did give them a notice stating that I will be paying after the 1st….. since the school was closed, today is the day that everyone should be working or came back from the “Holidays”…. It’s already 12:30pm….. I thought about going to the Naperville library today, but, by the time I would be ready, mom would be picking me up… so today, I will working on some of the assignments non internet related, meaning that I don’t need the internet to complete the assignment…. I see some snow flakes floating down….. well, it looks like it will be snowing… not a storm though… all is well….. I’m done with the news… I told myself starting Jan 1st no more news… yes, it’s getting very crazy with everyone and it’s not worth listening to nor putting that in my mind and being…. Thank You…. For everything….. Thank You….. 20 days till I’m done with this class that I’m in right now…. this week I would love to complete everything…..  today I told mom that I would be going to the Zumba and the Kickboxing class….. it’s a beast of a class, Zumba, I love, the Kickboxing kicks my ass… which is good and much needed…. I haven’t worked out any cardio since  ???  before Christmas !!!  yep, about 1-2 weeks, plus the Transformation Body by Design program, the last work was chest and triceps… I was still sore for almost 2 weeks… now I’m fully recuperated, hold on I want to make some coffee… put the hot water on… and put on some socks…. It’s a bit soothing….. I like it a lil bit chilly…. But, my feet…. Are getting the brunt of the chilliness, I like that warm fireplace cabin feeling…… brb…I’m back it’s 1:02pm… I’m going to write a few more minutes before I try calling again……  all is very well…. Nope, not there yet, the “Degree Audit” Graduation, Student something…. Ok…. let’s try again at dag gone 2pm !!!  or 2:30pm…… I’m feeling much better today, trying to figure which route would be best for me….. 1st thing…. Is Debt……. Taking care of that dark cloud that keeps on following me…as I said, many times before that getting this BA trumps everything…… even though I would like to start paying my debt, I still have to pay for last class and book, which I don’t know how much that will be…. So, the remainder of the month, will be BA focused….. making sure I dag gone do well in the class….. I know that as soon as I’m done March 1st 2016, that the agency will want my ass working…. My plan is that if I am not already hired for the gov job, the plan is get a part-time job while I continue to seek and get prepared for the gov job…. Yes, that’s the best route for me right now, not only to take care of the debt, but, also be able to save some money, for investments, and to fund my passions….. it’s on baby….. I know mom, told me not to put all of my hopes on this one particular job, but, I can’t help it…. it’s the only gov job that I officially applied for and I have yet to hear anything from them….. I have a feeling that this is how they (gov job) works….. I would like to apply some other jobs that deals with nature and just the NPS, wearing the uniform…. So, it’s all very well, I know that for each job that I would have to create a revised version of the cover letter, orrrr, just go aheard and apply for the MCA job, (Museum of Contemporary Art) in Chicago…… ok, I don’t have time nor the mental anguish for me to try to figure out what’s going to happen….. I would love to take some time off so I could get into shape and travel and to go to the Transformational Festivals…. I don’t know….. I feel like that I just need a fuse of money, so I could take care of my debts, invest for the future and retirement and to travel the world and live the dream….. I’m going to have to use an alias…. I know that every company or department that I apply for will do a Google Search and a FB search, etc….. and even though I don’t have anything negative, but, my story is out there….. so, the plan is to put everything on private until further notice and to use the alias…… I wished I would’ve done this sooner,, I know that every video, I say my name…. Hey, it’s all good, I do have over 1,000 video clips on YouTube…… have fun browsing through…. Then again, I think of going to Chile, spending some time there ???  I could possibly work over there ??? I don’t know, maybe at the U.S. Embassy…. I remember I was looking at their website for jobs about 7 years ago….. because I thought I was going over there….  Hunh… how about this….. after the BA, get a full-time job, and focus on taking care of the debt and at the same time prepare to move to Chicago…. Get the paperwork, possibly become a dual citizen with Chile ??? since my papi is over there……  I will have then a BA for me to apply with…. I don’t know…… maybe this $400 million lottery will take care of all this…. All of this uncertainty…. Hmmmm let’s say if I did win the lottery and the money game is done for me… 1st thing is to pay off my debt then ???  then what ???  what would I do if I had won the $400 million lottery… ????  and all of my debts are paid in full ???  Chile, papi……  that’s it….. going to Chile with a BA, I would have a better chance of becoming a dual citizenship with Chile and the U.S. since my papi lives there and is a Chilean citizen…. It’s been long enough….. the plan is to see grandma and then go to Chile….. that means I would have to get rid of quite a bit of misc… ???   or to have them in a long term temp home…… I could work for that adventure company in Patagonia…… ???  or a U.S. company in Santiago, Chile…. Or a U.S. gov job in Chile ??? that could very cool….. aka U.S. Embassy….. ,, ok, that feels and sounds much better now, since, I know what I would do, if I had won the $400 million lottery and that is to finally go see and visit papi….. work and possibly create a business ??  we’ll see about the VA deal…..  I don’t know just yet….. I think I should go and play the lottery tonight….. I think I can only pay cash for the lottery….. so what every cash I have, it’s now $2 each ticket…… papi, always loved playing the lottery….. I remember that, giving papi numbers to play the lottery…… I’m sure he’s still at it….. oh papi…… yeah, its time…. I’m done,  a tattoo artist ??? in Santiago, Chile ???  oh snap !!!  that’s an idea……  I’m sure the regulations are not as red tapish as it is over here but, we’ll see……  I don’t know anything about tattooing in Chile ???   I could see if they are any tattoo artists in Chile….. ??  and get my practice on ???   ok, let’s see if “she” is in ???  Student Accounts I believe her name is Colleen…. Yes, I have dealt with her before….. brb …..ok, I left a message, this time there wasn’t any rings… so, I’m assuming that she is on the phone….. all good, I just want to take care of this asap…. Like now…. hunh….. ok…. let’s take care of the assignments that I wanted to complete today….. Infinite Love and Gratitude, dwu…..


5 January 2016, Tues 11:55am  MMP  Naperville, IL

Good Morning !!!!   by 5 min !!!  sunny out today a bit chilly, like 25 degrees…. Something like that, I’m inside so, it’s about 59 degrees….. all very well… whew… I had got some much needed rest, especially from yesterday’s kick boxing…. Dang that class is pretty tough, it has been about 2 weeks since I last did some cardio, so the 1st time after about 2 weeks, it’ll get to you… I was trying to keep up, but, I did try my best…. Especially if there was some ladies, kicking my ass…. Oh yeah, there was a cutie in the Zumba class…. I was like damn…..  I think she might’ve been an instructor, she was doing all the moves correctly and without mistakes, I was like whoa !!!  she cool…. Nothing happened as far as saying hi, haaa… yeah, as I said, I’m not there to hook up with anyone…. I’m there for my body temple…. But, I thought that she was super cool and super cute…. Yeah, I didn’t think she was attracted…. Well, the shirts that I got, it’s a 3X long, versus a 4X Reg…. So the upper portion of the shirt was snug and therefore my belly was detailed but, it was long, so when I raise my hands up to the sky, my belly doesn’t play peek a boo…. Barely…. If I raised my hands straight up fast you’ll see some white belly peeking out…. But, the kickboxing, it’s more than just punching air and doing some kicks, like pushups, planks, running and touching the ground back in forth, shit, that got me, I couldn’t keep up, I just did the best I could…. I’m going to the library today, it’s about that time…. I’m going to bring my laptop, to download some podcasts of that show Coast to Coast…. And I might check out some cd’s…. yeah, the radio news isn’t healthy for me, not only for the news but, the commercials…. All health related misc…. got some coffee…. Today, I’m thinking of working out with resistance weights after my time at the library, most likely I’ll be walking to the gym from the library…. And making a pit stop and the grocery store, get some greek yogurt and possibly a Kiefer biotics deal…. Living enzymes !!!  that will help me eat away the belly….. there’s a commercial that’s says, You’re not really fat, you just have a big belly that can be flattened by drinking some belly reducing potion…. Nope, you’re mother fuckin fat !!!!  not just having a big belly…..I’m totally in shape except for my 100 lb belly…. Haaa… yeah, those commercials are not helping me at all…. I’m also going to upload the latest videos…. Also I want to put every video on private, also with FB…. Put it on temp closing….. I must get ready for the job after the BA, especially since I will continue with the gov job…. Also sending out for my drivers record from CA….. it’ll cost me $5 …. Not much, but, it’s necessary…. For my information…and also being prepared for me to send another one unopened from the DMV in CA to the hiring agency…. The same with IL…. I know I could ge the record from IL at anytime….. later this week, like Friday…. It’s time for to get sore again…. It’s been well over 2 weeks since my chest and triceps workout, and I can officially say that my pectoral muscles has fully 100% recuperated and healed…. Like during the 1st week after working out, I was super sore, and I was still sore till about the 2 week mark, now, tomorrow will be the 3 week mark, yeah, I want to do an all body work out….. upper and lower body so I’ll be able to let the body heal with out activating any of the muscles that will be sore…… I’m thinking doing 2 of the work out sessions….. the 1st session took almost 2 hours…. I will listen to my body as well…. I’m going to do anything that will cause any injury….. I think after the 2 week mark the muscles will lose it’s strength and fibers, I’m thinking after week 3, the muscles will start the deconditioned mode, where the muscles loses it’s strength and fibers….  Let’s do this…. Yeah, the sooner it’s done the sooner the body and muscles will rebuild and start the cycle all over again….. make sure you have down time so the muscles are able to rebuild and recuperate.  I’m looking forward on getting this class done and over with….. I did see some what it looks like to be abandoned warehouses or offices, there is a few companies or maybe just one that uses… it’looks industrial from the 80’s… not to pretty…. We’ll see…. I want to check it out….. on my way home, from the gym….. I don’t know if I should bike, hunh …. You know what ???  dang, I don’t know….. as long as I am on the street…. Hunh…. We’ll see… I know if I do, I’m going to have to be careful….. it is below freezing….. and the streets are salted and free from ice….. not all, there are some puddles here in there, that’s why I must be vigilant…. 12:27pm now, I’m going to leave around 2pm….. perfect…..  you know let’s get the bike…. Bike to the library, set up the laptop in the library, download as much as I can till 9pm… I’m going to use the other laptop, the one that has more hard drive memory…. Hunh…. I don’t know exactly how much memory I have…. I should check….. ok…. brb…..


11 Jan 2016, Sun, 1:14pm MMP 1:14pm,

Hello !!!   Hmmmmm where to start ???   hold on… going to put on some music…. And my Bose Noise Cancelling Ear Phones !!!!!!   Yeahhhh buddy….. wah,wah-wha, what ???  ok….. got some trance electronic tunes……. It’s a chilly day today, so the plan is to go to McD’s….. the closest one, for me to respond to the other students responces and upload my assignemtns…… this was Week 3,…  the last day of Week 3…… so tomorrow will be starting up week 4 and then the last week, week 5….. yeah, kinda looking forward to that…. I’m getting more info on the warehouse….. just the “what do I do as soon as I get it”…. what’s the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc….. I need to do, once I have the warehouse……. Oh baby it’s on…… I feel like just busting ass for 2 yrs non-stop……… shock the Universe……. I want to leave at about 2pm…. It’s 1:23pm…. I just want in and out…. Do the deal and come right back….  There is a video or 2 that I have to watch for next weeks assignments, so I want to take care of that….. at Mc’D’s…. It’s sunny and cloudy, so I want to take advantage of the sun, they say it’s like 14 below with windshield….. 1degree…. Yeah….. I know, and I have to walk hopefully on a cleared sidewalk…….. that is not to icy…. Yeah, me walking the 24 hour one…… yeah, I was pretty upset because of the laptop mom gave me, which I knew had problems, but, I was not able to get online…. It was the laptop, it has some viruses…. Yeah…. And it took me about 45 min to walk there on ice and snow, I was being careful…… I felt like slamming the laptop on the table at McD’s…. because I needed to submit my assignments before Wed…… yeah, anyways, I learned…. I’m glad I have this one….. ol’ faithful…… all is very good…… I would rather go when it’s sunny so I could have a lil bit of warmth while I’m walking to Mc’D it’s not that far, I’m thinking like ¼ of a mile….. or maybe half at the most….. I’m sooo looking forward on taking care of this BA deal…. Honestly I haven’t been doing the rest of the Week 4 and 5….. so, tomorrow, I’ll be working on that, I’m thinking, of going to COD…. Or maybe, to the library Naperville and leave as soon as I can…. Just use the internet and to do whatever I need to do on the internet and then go home…. Yeah, I would rather be home doing my assignments, with hot coffee, with a  window in front of me… ok, I want to get ready now, I would rather, get this done and over with and then come back to write some more…. Sound good ????   I have something pretty wild…. That I heard….. oh snap, it just blew my mind….. it is very out there…… ok, much love, dwu….  Ok, I’m back, I’m going to make something here versus getting something at McD’s…..  I might get something if I stay there a bit longer, I just in and out, I know I’m going to have to get a coffee…..  we’ll see, all is well… well, I should’ve recorded it, the shower clog…. For the past 3 yrs, the shower drain as been gradually getting slow to drain, yeah, it’s a very gross and nasty event and that’s why I didn’t record….. anyways, it was very nasty, and had trouble getting the top off, I just used the pliers and to tear it off…. I had to use a gas mask, or those filter nose and mouth thing….. bottom line, it’s done, I got the source…. It was about 3 feet worth of hair… that was absolutely nasty, the stinch, was lethal….. yeah,,,…..next time…. I thought about it… I knew it would be a very funny video…. Looking back, I wish I would’ve recorded it…..  anyways… it’s done and over with, and it feels so much better…. .yeah ,it was absolutely nasty and that’s why I didn’t  record it, I didn’t want to show everyone how nasty it was,,,  because I was showing in this for about a good year or two… and it got to nasty and slippery…. Next time something like this comes up, I will record it… and yes, sure enough I was dry heaving big time, sweating, with my mask one, oh snap it was absolutely nasty…. Next time….. I knew I was going to be super dry heaving…… and this was with the mask on !!!!  ok, next subject….. Jan 10 today, 


12 January 2016, Tues MMP Naperville, IL 1:01pm

Greetings !!!!   just got up about 30 min ago…… I went to bed at around 6am…. Haaa.. .I know, it’s just the way I work I guess, and also the internet, I’m trying not to get pissed, but, it’s very very slow and I’m not able to load up a page !!!  yeah…. And I paid for a 30 day trial…. I’m trying to listen to some Deva Premal…. And the page just timed out…. Anyways…. All is well….I wanted to listen to some other kirtan related songs….. and deva premal has a quite a following on YouTube…. I think everybody gets their stuff on YouTube…… I’m not even going to try anymore, not right this second anyways….. it’s very very slow and there is a caution sign on the pc icon because it’s very slow and the page always times out…. All good, no worries…. Today, me and mom will be going to Willow Creek Church in Barrington, IL…. Very and beautiful church….. we’re going to see Dave Ramsey !!!!!   haaa… mom, said, that this is the last day for us to go out and eat and go out for coffee !!!!  You still have debt ????   Dave says, unless you’re debt free, that the only business you have being in a restaurant is only to be working there !!!!   Dave Ramsey is Super Hard Corps… which I believe is exactly what we need…… he only wants the best for us and being in debt is not one of them….. I’m excited…… mom is going to pick me up at around 3pm…. We want to be one of the 1st ones in with great seats…… We got the general seating seats…. There was some VIP seats which cost extra but, I knew Dave wouldn’t accept that unless we were debt free…… All is well, I’m soo looking forward on getting this degree done and over with !!!  2 more weeks, or 12 days 1!!!   Oh snap !!!!  12 more days 1!!!!   The last day is 1/24/16…… I’m going to call the registration student services at the college to see if my graduation degree audit paperwork came in, I sent it before Christmas !!!!  also to see if the next class is in que so I could pay for it and to order the book !!!!!   yep, going to try again….. I think they only work half days over there !!!  going to try at 2pm…. All good, I’m going to finish up the assignment that is due tonight… at 12 midnight….. I don’t know what time I’ll be coming home…. Tonight after Dave Ramsey…. I’m going to try to get some good pics of him……we’ll see…… it’s all good regardless what happens…..


January 19, 2016  Tues  7:07pm  MMP Naperville, IL

This is from one of my assignments, which I thought it shouldn’t be in there, so I didn’t want to just delete it, I wanted to save it somewhere here it is, it’s nothing special really… but, here it is:

Especially now, there is a wave of work-life balance which includes working within your means and getting rid of your debt, living life with debt is like trying to live life with a dark cloud always following you.  Oprah and Dave Ramsey and many others have their own program living life debt free, we were meant to strive and thrive and to be 100% responsible for our actions, choices and decisions. 


**I 'm going to use my past work experience as a daily pay labor temporary worker.  Just the sound of that, "Daily Work, Daily Pay Laborer", you know there is some massive turnover.  In the past, while I was doing my road trips, when I was running low on money, I would go to a relatively medium to large city, to do the Daily Work Daily Pay circuit.  You may be saying, ok, sounds pretty tough, but, when you hear the word laborer what comes to mind to me is a person on a construction project picking small scraps of wood and throwing them into the waste bin.  I would say that 99% of the jobs at the daily work daily pay labor jobs are the jobs that the business owner doesn't want his/her own employees doing that specific job, because of safety or humane reasons.  Oh yeah, you can smell the turnover from a mile away right ?  I was in a suburb of Dallas, TX during the summer time, so it was very hot and humid.  There was a water main leak underneath pavement and concrete in back of an abandoned strip mall, in the back there was a brick wall surrounding the back.  No water source, no bathroom, no shade, I'm guessing at least 105 degrees.  I was dropped off in the back with a water bottle, a pick and a shovel and was told to dig out the water main and I'll be picked up when it's time to go !!  I'm not exaggerating, I had to pick through pavement and concrete, was soaked in sweat, no wind, it was literally hell, I eventually dug to the water main, and had to have at least 2 feet underneath the water main, so since it was leaking, there was nothing but, mud, couldn't use the pick or shovel, I had to use my hands and eventually looked around for a cup.  By the time I was done, I scared the guy who dropped me off, I was literally caked with sweat and mud and I was dehydrated and starving and I was angry and pissed.  Yep, turnover has happened !!!  As soon as I had enough money to leave to the next city I was gone asap.  Yes, there is tremendous amount of turnover in the "Daily Work - Daily Pay Labor" temporary jobs, usually because of safety ( I was dying of thirst in 105 degree in a pavement sauna) and humane (picking through pavement and concrete by hand), I'm guessing the plumbing company didn't want to rent a jack hammer instead they got a Daily Work-Daily Pay Laborer to do it for them.

** Employees doesn’t leave good companies, they leave bad bosses.  I’ve had quite a few of them.  Especially a newly christened “Team Leader” who was your equal before.  I had this one lady who didn’t know not only being a leader and lacking basic people skills.  She had become a “Team Leader” and she was exercising her “Leadership” powers in a demeaning and belittling way.  There was an “Emergency Rush” order that came through, every order was an “Emergency Rush”, that we had to take care of it immediately.  I got the order from the newly appointed “Team Leader” and she told me that it was an “Emergency Rush” we were in the office with other associates and I was saying hi to the other team, and she just yelled out, “This is an Emergency- Rush Order !!  Chop-Chop !!”… Oh snap, I was about to literally give her a chop-chop !!!  I was at the company for four years already, and she was just hired and the only reason that she became “Team Leader”, was because of her education.  I knew then, something must change, I will not be talked like that in a professional workplace, I believe I ended up talking to the manager about how she talks and behave to the “Warehouse Workers” in her eyes was the bottom of the totem pole-legalized slaves.  If that behavior would’ve continued I knew something would’ve blown up, she was 5’ tall and me 6’2 tall.

Ok, you still here !!!!  well, right now-right now is January 20th, Wed 2016… 12:48am….. completed some of my assignments…. I still have a few more to go, one of which is a group PowerPoint deal… I’m going to do that at the library…. Yes, I have a very very low internet connection, more like 5 min on and 55 min off…. Yeah, I had to sign up… mostly because of the weather, this whole month, is like 10-20 below zero windchill…. That windchill is no joke !!!  here in Chicago….. because I knew I had to submit my assignments online….. yeah, I know… with a  very low connection, so I made sure I have enough time to submit my assignments to make sure I’m able to send it on time…. I’m done have a very very low connection, I believe I may get the box, whatever you need to get to get an “Excellent” connection instead of a “Very Low” and sometimes it’s so slow that I have a caution sign that pops up, Very Slow Connection and the website times out….  Ahhhhhh ghhhh…. Here I am the last week of the 2nd to the last Online Class !!!!  yes, Online !!!!   and here I’m having the connection timed out with very low connection….. it will be worth. It…… I thought I could use the McD’s Internet, but with this super cold weather without a car is life threatening…. So, it would be best if I checked out all the books in relation to the class and just do the assignments and research here at home….. tonight I’m going to have to clean… or better yet, sleep for a few hours so I could clean up, before my case manager comes in at 8:30am….. ouch….. I’m not a morning person….. especially if I have to clean up and tidy the place up a bit…. Luckily I have some boxes where I could just org up the boxes on top of each other….. all is very good….. I’m thinking about what I want to do after I graduate ???   is it worth me having a $10 an hour job ???  where I could write and paint instead ??  I know I’m worth much more than $10 an hour….. I’m thinking of getting a van and did what I used to do a few years ago…. I don’t know what it was, I was the most happiest and the most fittest… having a home to go to, you get lazy, you’re able to lounge around watch tv, cable and dvd’s…. where if you had a van, see, I just used the van to crash out in ….. kind of like camping, except you have a moveable steel tent, that you can go anywhere, and it’s not “obvious”….. keep in on the DL….. nothing on top, keeping it nice and clean, rims and tires clean and shiny….. see, I know the drill,,.. I’ve been there….. I just want to get away and focus on the body temple……



January 20, 2016  Wed  7:41pm  MMP Napverlle, IL

Greetings !!!   I don’t know if I should just give up or just keep trying…… Internet Connection !!!!   this whole day I was trying to send a doc to a classmate, it always timed out, because of a very low connection…. I paid $54 on the 1 month service….. this is from a HotSpot…..  then I called the main internet service provider number, and told him I needed an Excellent Service Connect…. Ok I believe I’m done trying to get a better connection…. I wanted to watch a few videos of my VanDwellers !!!!!   there was a super cutey !!!!   which I’m assuming that she was with her BF, VanLivinIt…. I set up the laptop and table to the sliding window close to the kitchen… I wanted to see if it was going to make a difference…. At first I thought it would, but, nope…… ok, just now, I thought the YouTube vids would go through… nope….. I got the page, but it was too weak… it’s ok….. I think I’m done trying…… yeah, it’s ok…. I got to send Tony my classmate the doc for the project that was due…… that was the main thing, I needed to do….. having a week connection is definitely making me frustrated….. if only I had $100 in the bank so I could get the internet company to set me up…… I want the install, not by mail or pick up….. I don’t have transportation now, so driving anywhere is out of the question, walking, nee, it’s 15 degrees and 10 below with wind chill… well, hopefully I’ll have an Excellent connection for the Last Class !!!!    it’s ok and it’s all good, I get to practice my typing and writing skills !!!!  it is very very meditative… I love it !!!! Thank You !!!  you know what ???  between you and me, I’m going to try to not get a job, shit I can save up some serious mula…… if I stay where I’m at…. I met with my case manager this morning, I pulled an all nighter today … I was just enthralled on the all of the VanDwellin videos !!!!  I was literally motivated, inspired and in awe to see what others have done to their vans !!!!   I was blown away !!!!  YESSS…. This is my tribe baby !!!!!    Thank You…. You know what ??  I was on the brink of deciding to play it safe and get a “Real Job”…. With the gov so I could pay off my debts and invest money for retirement…. All is very well, Then again, if I’m able to save up some massive money….. and really do the VanDwellin in 1-2 years… that would be Amazing. !!!  I have the year all planed out…. During the summer go to all of the Transformational Festivals, then spend time at Metroflex Gym the one in Long Beach, CA and the one in Arlington Heights…. I will go where the weather is warmest….. I’m a Snow Bird !!!!!   as soon as I get the van, I’m out….. .improve on the go and run !!!!    there you go….. During the time here in the apt, I’m going to make use of everything that I can, is to sell everything off !!!!!   Even though I do enjoy bike riding, I know that space trumps the bike… especially if it’s not a foldable bike…. I know I must do some spring cleanin !!!!  oh yeah, tomorrow I got to go to my teeth cleaning !!!!!     it’s about that time…for the rhythm and rhyme….. during my Metroflex Gym Long Beach,   I’ll be going to Agape with Rev. Michael Bernard Beckwith and in TX I’ll be going to The Potters House !!!!  with my main man, Bishop T.D. Jakes….. looks like no internet tonight…… it’s not even getting a signal….. I thought about doing another reboot… but, I’ve been doing that all day…. I’m done trying…. .just do it tomorrow at COD….. where the isn’t much of a walk……  All is very well… Thank You……. Oh I can possibly turn in all of the books that I checked or just the ones that I know I will not be using anymore !!!!  4 more days till the class is over !!!!!   then Bam !!!!  Jan 25th I start the class !!!!   Ahhhhh…… I cannot wait, hopefully the teacher is cool and understanding, just in case…. I know I’ll do alright in the class that I’m in now…. I’m going to guess a B….. I’ve been seeing 70’s 80’s 90’s….. you know at this point I just want to pass !!!!   but, I did make it an effort to do well….. Thank You…… I like my keyboard, it’s not the keyboard from the laptop, I have 4 keys missing !!!   so I like to use the external keyboard to type…..some of the paint is falling off because of the much typing I do….. Wow !!!  it’s been a month since I started this blog words, I write and save it on a doc and when the time comes when I have time and an excellent internet connection I’ll copy and paste these words…. Now we’re on page 33, with 33,542 words…..me crossing paths with the VanDwellers was no accident…. I needed to know what and where I am heading and going…… I wanted to focus on Van Dwellin and my Body Temple…… I want to make my van I little bit female friendly, if you know what I mean…OK,       for reals, I’m done checking YouTube and the internet connection…. Maybe this is for my own good…… that’s the plan stan, going to the Dentist…. Oral Hygenist….. more like it……   I want to make a western , northwestern and southwest circuit…… I will see Olympic National Forest… I don’t know about Seattle….. we’ll see what happens…. All is very well… wow !!!!  every VanDweller well tonight I know I’m going to need to take a good scrubin shower….there is only 2 more things that I have to do before the 24th of Jan, the last day of this class !!!!   I kinda wished I signed up for the internet deal before hand !!!!   well, now you know…. Learning the hard way…..  I think I was being cheap and thought I could get the internet anytime at McD’s… well, I can’t, not with 20 below windchill and a 2 mile walk… I would say a mile and quarter…. Still that’s dangerous, there were multiple of cold related deaths in the city, of people trying to go through the cold….. man, there was one story on the news, which really made me sad, a black older gentlemen (I believe) who was seen laying down in an industrial park, the news said, it looked like he was resting and sleeping…. That the cold got the best of him….. very sad… what a torcherous death…. Freezing to death….. I would literally rob a bank if I had to in order for me to survive !!!!  fuck that shit !!!  I would break some windows or something to get arrested for me to get out of the freezing cole….. man, I think he felt that it was his fault for being in the situation that he was in and that he had to pay the price, pay with pain and suffering…. That really made me a bit emotional…. No one should die like that, especially a homeless man, who had nothing, who laid on the freezing snow and ice to have a rest-to never wake up….. I don’t know too much about hypothermia but, I heard in the survival shows and documentaries that once you past the point of pain, you begin to get sleepy and tired and basically you go to bed to never wake up….that the only way for you to survive is to stay awake….. I know…. We must take full advantage of our lives now….. without fear and worry…… but, with Faith and Infinite Power….. ok, for reals, I’m done checking !!!  it looks like it has a great connection… but, doesn’t load up a page…… I know, don’t sweat it…. shit, I’m going to start the new class with out any internet !!!  and it’s an Online Class !!!!   all good, I might be going to COD, the walk to the library might be a little bit too much…. It’s about 1 mile and half, I’m guessing…. Now were talking 15-20 blow zero !!!!   and I don’t have the best of caps, it’s like a see through, knitting type hat…. Where they are 5 centimeter holes…. The wind just goes right through that dag gone pieces of yarn that looks like a hot…. All good…. Knowing is half the battle…. I’m going to bring the books that I don’t think I’ll be needing anymore….. I’m soo looking forward on getting this done and over with !!!   Thank You !!!!  humh, I’m thinking of taking all that I can by living here in the apartment like creating some paintings already !!!!  sell some of my shit !!!  I don’t know about the bike just yet, I paid, with tax around $800 and about a few months later the back rim, I have a higher duty back wheel where the spokes are a bit thicker….. that can support my weight….. now, biking in this weather, or maybe I can take it apart and put it back together again whenever I want to use it… hunh….. I just had an idea ??  maybe I can use the speakers as part of the bed base ??  because I would love to DJ or have Divine Dance Parties….. hunh ???  or maybe get what CycleCruza’s did to his Van…. It was pretty sick…. 


January 21, 2016 Thurs 6:57pm  MMP Naperville, IL

Greetings !!!   it’s a bit chilly out here in Chicagoland… I’m kinda  done with it….. well, especially if you don’t have  a car or a van to drive….. but, luckily now I have a Free Ride Pass….. All public transporation free !!!!  yeahhhh buddy…. Today I had my teeth cleaned, there was a lot more scraping and chizzling this time… I don’t know why ???  well, I think I have been slacking with my teeth…. I do brush and floss…. The key thing I think, I would do a day, then miss a day, then do a day, then miss a day…. Every other day, well not every other day, I would say at least a couple times a month, I have been doing that….. this time I really want to do well with my oral hygiene….  All is well, tomorrow is Friday, it definitely snuck up on me….. all is well… this is the last few days of the current class that I’m taking… I can’t wait….. 3 to be exact… so tonight, I’m going to write some personal words here and then do my last assignments…. Basically it’s one big one and 2 small ones.  After my teeth cleaning appointment I went to College of DuPage to do my portion of the assignment on the PPT, because they have very fast internet !!!  oh my !!!  I was like Whoa !!!  compared to what I have here at home…. I called the internet company yesterday, the total time on the phone was 35 minutes !!!  including a lot of hold time…. Bottom line, since I have ghetto credit they wanted a $100 deposit and I had only about $70 in the bank… I was a bit upset… considering I’m taking an online and I can’t get online !!!  the web pages would always time out, because of a very low connection…. I basically gave up on that….. I’m thinking tomorrow going to the Naperville Library to do the 2 small internet assignments, basically I have to respond twice to a classmates answer online… so basically 4 paragraphs …… and a research paper….. and the PPT (PowerPoint) just in case, when I first saw PPT ?? I was like wha ???  what’s PPT, OPP ???  DTT ???  ahhh Power Point…. I’m just ready to knock this class out…. I’m ready for the next class….. I just want a very low to no stress class…. that Econ 101 class, oh my, that was brutal, I thought I was going to fail and almost gave up, until I had a meeting with the instructor, I was trying to do all of this at the library…. In close quarters, I don’t know, I like to have table space when I’m doing research papers, with books, print outs, etc…. all is very well, I did see a few VanDwellin videos ….. and then I just had an idea… because I’ve been a vandweller before with out me knowing it… 1st was with my pick up truck, I had one of those camper tops on top of the bed of the truck… it was protection from the elements, I put a twin size bed in the bed of the truck… so I could crash out in back, when I had a bit too much to drink… that was my crashing pad during the weekends when I was in the Marine Corps… I would buy 2 whoppers put  them in back, and have a blast drinking, playing pool, acting silly and stupid and funny…. I always had a blast. And that was my crash pad… it was only the mattress with a sleeping bag and some pillows, I was in California so the temperature was just perfect…. After a night of drinking…. The fast forward some years, I had a van and basically, once I knew I was moving out and decided to “crash out” in the van, I started planning and getting rid of a  lot of shit…. It was all good… and alright….  I planned it and prepared for it….. and you know what ???  I had a blast, it was pure adventure….. I was eating and working out and basically was at the gym everyday…… the off days, would be me just lounging in the pool, Jacuzzi, sauna and the steam room….. cold shower and then repeat….. and I was fit and lean…… I remember doing at least 30 push ups for my warm up, now, I can barely even do one !!!!  I was checking out the other VanDwellers and I just had an idea and a couple thoughts, I don’t have to go all out with the VanDwelling deal,  just a mattress, water, food, books, tools, clothes and I had a system…. It was all in a caravan !!  I know hunh ???  I would have a cooler with ice if I knew I was going to get some meat or something that needed to be chilled… I don’t need electricity….. but, now, with the new VanDwellers, oh my, they go all out, which is great !!! and good, I was thinking just bare bones it !!!  get a minivan preferably a nice looking one, gut it out, get a mattress, covers, pillows, see this is #1 priority of your van is to get sound sleep….. I was just fine with out a “kitchen” set up for a van… I had gallons of water and a portable Coleman stove to heat up food and make some coffee…… Nescafe… I would by a gallon of whole milk, and some Nescafe and some raw sugar and I have the best morning coffee ever !!!!  I know I made a video of me making some Nescafe, this was when I was in the Saturn….. yeah, I even gutted out the Saturn ! !!!   haaaa…. I slept in the drivers seat and have the seat all the way back… .not the best of stealth… but, I would cover my self up and park in a good spot….. where the only thing I have to do is, sit up and put the key in the ignition and go to McD’s…. for my hot coffee and to write……. And for the bathroom, at the time, I was making very little money, so I would be a couple cases of tuna…. I would eat a can a tuna 1st thing in the morning….. oh yeah, that’s right, I want to get a quality can opener… the one I have, it’s on it’s last leg, I want to get a lifetime warrantee for a can opener….. I just want to be a bare bones VanDweller, just the basics, shelter, sleep, food, and water…… I want to be able to use what I already have and not to buy anything extra….. see, because I know most of my time will be living outside of the van, not spending 8 hours in the van… I’m either outside, inside a multi-million dollar building like College of DuPage…. That was my 2nd home, really, I would spend tremendous amount of hours without any hassles from the campus police, because they knew me since I was a student and plus its public not private, anyone who lives in DuPage county has access to the college…. Library, computers, gym you do have to pay some kind of fee for the gym and pool…..yeah, that was the thought…. Because I was getting a bit overwhelmed with all of the other VanDwellers… my Van will be for #1. Sleeping and storing all of my stuff, because, I would like to have my bike inside the van somehow….. see, in order to be extremely stealthy, the van must be clean outside, tires shiny well taken care of and nothing tied down on the roof or trunk etc… have nothing outside of the van, so, that is what I’ll be doing eventually, now, I know I have a pretty sweet deal, with this apartment and especially now that I have a free public transporation, they just raised the prices Jan 1st !!!!  haaa…. Yess… so, the time I have here, I’m going to take advantage of, as far as a real job, honestly I don’t want to working for $10 an hour, I feel that I’m well worth that much and I would rather write books, paint and focus on my Body Temple…. The last time I had a job was a Part Time deal at the Lodge…. 7pm to close 1am,  the more I was thinking about the van, thinking about the cargo van ??  do I really need a cargo van that’s usually has a 6 cylinder and goes about 18 miles per gallon….. see, I’m not going to “living” in the van, I’m just going to sleep and eat in the van…. The rest of the day, I’ll be at the gym, forest preserves, picnic tables or in the parking lot making me some Nescafe…. Yeah, that was my spot, and they had a bathroom, a new nice one, at the forest preserve and what was cool was that the Forest Preserve was literally right across the street to Walmart !!!  so I would get milk, ice, water, tuna, etc…..  and about every month, I would go to the self car washes to do a gut out cleaning, basically gut out the whole van and car and to see if I really needed an item or not…..and I would organize everything, I would have a bag of folded work out t-shirts, a bag of work out underwear and socks all paid up and shorts… the key thing before you get to the gym, is to have everything ready in the bag, so all you have to do, as soon as you arrive at the gym and park, you get your bag (which was prepped before) and your water jug, so all you do is take the key off the ignition, grab your bag and water cooler from the passenger side and go !!!!  no, digging, searching having any doors open, nothing !!!!!  there was a couple times where I forgot something and had to go digging for something, let’s just say, it didn’t look good, to have the side door wide open, your ass out, going through what appears to be a whole mountain of misc…. that doesn’t look good for you….

Should I break here ???  I just write, write and write !!!  I want to at least a page or maybe 2 pages, wow, I was doing 3 whole pages per day, when I was Vanning It…. at McD’s…. every morning and at night too….. wow…. With this same laptop !!!!  haaa…. All very well….. well, I’m highly considering of getting a temp laptop, for the remainder of the year or until I’m debt free…. I want to try my hand in writing books….. since I love to type and write….. I do have one in the making….. so, right this second I’m considering a mini-van, to be a bare-bones VanDweller….. what to do with my “Stuff”…. The most stuff that’s going to require some space, would be my books, my bike ?  am I going to ride my bike everyday ???  I’m thinking about either giving it away to my nephew or try selling it, I paid over $800 for that bike, it’s a “Real Bike” from a professional bike store, not a Target or a Walmart bike… ya know what I mean ???   Dang, see, when I was Vanning It I was able to go roller skating !!!  I miss it very much…..  hunh, well maybe I can, since I have a “Free Public Transportation Pass”…. Let me look into it…. it’s near the Arlington Heights Hose Track….. but, it’s in Palatine…. It’s called Orbit Skating Rink…. Dannnng, I miss it soo much, I was becoming a regular too !!! and to become a part of the “Really Good” Skating click….. haa…. Mostly grade, J.R. High, tweens and high schoolers !!!!  here I am dag gone early 40’s…. being in the skating click…. Haa… now that’s funny… I just had a blast !!!   and I would try dancing without falling…. Oh and the backwards skating is nothing but, core !!!!   holy moly, way back then, when I was in shape I was getting a super core work out……. All these benefits of being free and being able to go where you want to go…. This is what I’m thinking….. 1-2 more years here in the apartment, save up and get a nice mini-van….. I will probably will work Part-time at Barnes and Noble…… and go to class at COD… (College of DuPage) working on my Accounting Cert….. I feel that is the next thing….. I got the schedule for the Spring semester which starts on the 23rd….. so this semester no go, the next one will be fall….. I’m thinking of still participating in the YMCA, I want to use their pool…… I want to use the Fry’s YMCA which is about 5 miles away…. It’s much nicer and newer than the downtown one… just sayin…. It’s all good, I’n not there to look at something pretty….. we’ll see, I’m thinking about continuing with the $5 per month YMCA fee… and also with Signature Gym, I had already paid for 2 yrs …. Sometime in Sept/ Oct ??  wow, how time is flyin….. ok, let’s get the last assignments done and over with, do the assignments tonight and then copy and paste and then submit them online at the library… I’m expecting not to have a strong enough internet connection for me to send and submit and upload the webpages….. Ahhhhh….. I really miss the Vanning Life !!!!   We’ll see….. what else….??  Ahhhh Panache Desai is coming to Highland Pazrk, IL… you know what ??? I really want to be near there, to take part in the events….. ahhh we’ll see…..  also going to all of the Transformational Festivals and then make my rounds to Sedona, Austin (I really want to meet Vannessa Stone, she has a spiritual center there)….. I may do a practice year here locally 1st… just to work out the kinks….more covers, pillow, I still want to work out at Jakked Hard Core Gym….. Let me see what I can do about the transportation getting there, getting there is the sole issue….. well, let me see… if it’s possible at different times during the day…. Bike no way in the winter time….. it’s below freezing level now…. we’ll see, everything will come into place in perfect Divine Timing……. Today at the college, it was lighting speed internet compared to what I have here at home now….. if I’m lucky, I’ll be able to load up a page in 5 min-10 min…. yeah, so, it’s not even worth waiting for it to load up, just go to library tomorrow and submit the assignments… ok, it’s time for me get cracka-lackin !!!!  3 more days till I’m done with this class !!!!  and then one more to go !!!!!  


Jan 23, 2016 Sat 8:02pm  MMP, Naperville, IL

Ahhhhhhh….. last class is coming to an end !!!!!   I have completed and sent in all of my assignments !!   with the exception of the Team Group Project…. Which Tony will send it tomorrow…. Or later tonight….. I’m done with this deal….. one more to go, which starts Jan 25, this Monday, I’m surprised the icon didn’t show up on the D2L (online class website) usually it automatically shows up, I haven’t seen it come up yet…. It should’ve came out, since I’ve already paid and registered.  I’ll find out on the 25th, if it’s not there I’m going to have to make a phone call, saying what’s happening !!  Ahhhhhh….. this class was a doozy, I’m sooo glad that there isn’t any tests !!!!   oh shit, I would’ve been sol….. shit out of luck…. I’m just glad, it’s progressing, this is the last class starting this Monday !!!!    March 1, is the last day, well Feb 28, is the last day, this year we’re going to have an extra day, Feb 29th !!!!   a leap year, something like that, it happens every few years or so, I think…. Mom and I are going to the travel show, tomorrow morning….. there was an assignment that I had done but, didn’t know where to submit it….. we’ll see, I did asked a question to Dr. Craig Nathanson… and attached the completed assignment….. luckily I noticed that I didn’t receive a grade for that assignment…. Hopefully I’ll get some points at least some late points….. we’ll see…. Next time, if I’m not sure that if I had submitted something, I’m going to ask… I don’t know what had happened, I think I couldn’t find where to submit the assignment and made a mental note to ask the instructor, but forgot ??   yeah, that’s about what I think what had happened…. All good….. I’m glad that this class is almost over….. well, my part of it is….. Thank You Jesus !!!!   I just had an idea, to write a book about VanDwellin, the what to do’s, how to do it, where to go, where not to go…… kind of like a how to book….. what to do before you’re going to VanDwell…




Jan 24th, 2016 Sun 10:52pm MMP Naperville, IL

What a day today !!!   woke up early today, so I could go to the Travel and Adventure Show at the Rosemont Convention Center…. We were the 1st one there, we got there at around 10am or so…. The doors open at 11am… we did some waiting… all good…. There was quite a bit of people there !!!   I great time, I got about 50 pounds of travel brochures and information…. I went to put my jacket in the car and when I came back, I knew I wasn’t going to find mom…. It was super packed and crowded… each isle….. I said, well, let’s just go isle by isle, getting information and brochures…. It was cool…. After about 3 hours I was getting there, I had to carry, a growing amount of materials… we eventually found each other, mom was done and I was done…. It was pretty crowded….. all good….  I did meet a NPS Park Ranger / Hiring Official  !!!!!   from AZ  !!!   AZ had a big presence there and same with Michigan… I was like dang !!!!  I was picking his brain about getting into the NPS…. I asked about top head hair with my bun and also with my facial hair, also about the interviewing process, since I’m in Chicagoland and the job is in Nageezi, NM….  By phone…. And yes and yes, about the hair….. when I found out that he’s a hiring official, I made sure I got his name and contact….. I did….. !!!  Just in case…. I told him that I had applied for the Chaco Canyon Historical Ranger position on Dec 2, 2015 !!  and I haven’t heard anything yet, at the same time, I did let them know, I won’t be able to work until March 1, 2016 that is when I’ll be technically finished with requirements for the BA Degree !!!!   so, he did say, that it does take a while, like 3 months or so….so, I don’t feel like I’ve been abandoned…. I would like to know if I am in the consideration candidates.  For the past month, I basically pretended that it wasn’t going to happen and to make other plans and ideas…..

January 25, 2016 Mon 11:02pm MMP Naperville, IL

Better late than never !!!  or tonight…. Well, I have started my last class, haven’t officially started because I was on the internet, since I don’t right now, yeah can’t wait till the 1st….. the internet connection I have is crazy….. like right now…. I’m not able to get an online connection… I was doing research on the most cargo space for a minivan and a MPG SUV…. Yeah, I’m going that route… bottom line, all I need is enough space to lay down, and store the necessities, water, food, and clothing and hygiene gear and work out fun gear like, roller skates, boxing gloves, kickboard, fins for swimming. Etc….  getting a cargo van, the MPG and being out of place…. Last night I was checking out the best gyms in the U.S. so far it would be the Equinox Gym brand… in SoCal…. There was a gym called LA Sports Club/Gym where all of the stars go to, $2500 initiation fee and $300 per month !!!  yeah…. I know !!!  See, when you don’t have a Rent Payment of $1000 per month, this is relatively cheap !!!!  it’s like paying rent for $300 per month….. and of course you have to look and drive the part…..  so this route is what I’m thinking…..  getting a nice minivan or SUV that I can easily sleep in versus living in.  Are you going to Live In or Sleep In…… Live in requires for you to be somewhat alone in a busy city, especially if you’re going to blend in with the city.  Going through all of your shit, digging out shit, having the doors wide open so people could see all of your shit !!!  that is not the way to go….. you must look and drive the part !!!!   don’t have trash everywhere, have your van clean and shiny, and have it organized, so you know where everything is, I used to have separate distinguishable bags, for my work out shirts, socks and underwear, and my work out towels… you know what I’m going to write a book about VanDwellin….. the pre VanDwellin Stage, so you’re living in a studio or a one bedroom apartment and you’re just sick of paying $800 per month plus utilities $90 about $900 per month, that is about the average going rate for relatively safe and nice apartment….  The pre-VanDwellin Stage, knowing that you’re going to have to release some items.  I kind of want to keep my mountain bike, but, hey, we’ll see… I can take it apart and put it back together again….. Dang, internet is still down !!!!   That’s why I’m writing here, the internet was down….. hey, it’s all good….. I’m just glad I’m finally on the last class !!!!   I received a message from the head manager case worker, I think she wants me to speak in front of a Fund Raiser next Monday.  How I know this, because I had a meeting with my case worker and she told me about it… and I was like, maybe not this time…. But, next time… I thing they want someone to really have a success story for the people who are giving.  They want to feel and see where their money is going to.  Sheesh, well, I guess it’s that important, I’m going to call her tomorrow, to see what she wants or needs…. But, I believe it’s that….. that they want a success story speaker for the event….. I guess I can do it….. I would have to get a suit jacket and some slacks and a belt that fits and a dress shirt….which I don’t have…..  I’ll find out tomorrow… all is well, you know if they really are strapped for someone, I’ll do it…  Last night I was figuring out, the different phases of VanRestin, VanDwellin is not the correct word for what I want to be doing….. I’m not living out of my van, I’m just sleeping in the van, I’m living life outside the van.  Yeah, so I know I’m not going to have a sink, shower, tv, fridge….maybe have electricity and solar power, we’ll see when the time comes….  I know I’ll be using a grill and possibly a stove for cooking….. my protein… see, I could have a portable kitchen outside the van… with a  small folding table and chair…… and to make my NesCafe…… I’m highly considering of rebooting the laptop…… still nothing… .the internet….. // well it started back at it again, timing out while trying to load up a new site or page…. The 1st, my ass is getting the real internet…. Not trying to get a very low hotspot which I paid $54 for !!!!   you know what, Ahhhh…. Yeah, I was feeling that about a few days ago, when I wasn’t getting a consistent signal…… ok, so that’s the plan… is to plan and and figure out everything…… I want to create a mock minivan cargo space by using wood and wire… just to get the basic measurements and to plan where is everything is going to go and how they are going to be stored…. Key thing is opening up the van and not seeing covers pillows, dirty underwear and socks laying everywhere…. I’m done trying anymore, just go to the library, get all the internet I can use and that’s that….. all will be very well….. ok, it’s time for me to write my Discussion Question # 1 and #2….. let’s do that….. Last Class Bitches !!!!!   haaa… no not you !!!   just as a saying to the world !!!   ya know…. Ok…. let’s do this…


January 27, 2016 Wed 11:38am  MMP Naperville, IL

Ok, just a brief one here…. Hunh……. Well, I started up my last class !!!!   Wow !!!  A lot things are happening….. almost done with the last class…. and I’m ready for my transformation….. yeah, ever since after the Travel and Adventure Show in Chicago…… Mmmmmm… what to do ???   I found about Slab City….. where I can choose a piece of land and have all my misc there !!!!   humnh… then I checked on how much it would cost for me to rent a Uhaul truck, and it came out to be about $1800 and that’s without gas !!!!!  Dang, that’s a lot ! !!!!   what happened to the $19 a day ???  and I pay the gas…… glad gas prices are super low now….. humh…. Maybe this is the time…. Might as well by a cheap used truck…. And drive down there…..

Con’t Jan 27, 2016 Wed; 6:42pm 

Seems like everytime I write the internet is down….. ok, I’ve been watching way too much news radio…… I told myself, no news starting Jan 1st… yep, it didn’t happen, it’s alright…… I just better focus on my assignment for the week and to go to the library… tomorrow, I will go to the College… oh boy, I know it’s going to be a bit busy !!!  the 2 or 3rd day of the Spring semester…


January 28, 2016 Thurs 8:03pm MMP Naperville, IL

Ok, well, let’s do some writing…. I’m still trying to upload a page !!!!   Ahhhhhhhhghhhhh !!!!!  I’m done with this Very Low Connection Bull Shit !!!!   the 1st is coming, the 1st is coming, next Monday will be the 1st, and that is when I usually get paid…. Right now, I’m about dried up with the money…… ok, where to start… yes, I’m just going to have to flow with it…. hunh….. this is what I’m thinking right now…… hunh….. thoughts are just keep rushing in now……. ideas….. ok, 1st thing there is a place called “Slab City” where you can stake out a piece of land and build on it for freakin FREE !!!!!  humnh ???!!!  here I am looking at warehouses in Chicago land area, trying to find some space that I can call my own, I want to create 70 or so or more super large paintings….. and to create a home out of my paintings….  1st in a tent with the necessities, on my couch… etc….. I want to be far away where I can do my own thing, create as much noise and yelling as I can and to be able to create my large paintings…… shit, I was about to do that over here in Chicago, but this is FREE !!!!  so I’m thinking of saving $$ for me to go out there and paint…..  and at the same time bring some work out gear or possibly get some while I’m over there….. Ahhhhh…. I know relax, inhale and exhale…… ok, I just lost my whole ad to craigslist about seeking others who wants to move to Slab City….. yep, I lost it b/c of the very low connection, it comes and it goes…. Yep, I should’ve know right ???  write the ad on Word 1st and then copy n paste, if it doesn’t go through and loses your words, not to worry…. You have a hard copy… ok, so this is my Craigslist ad;

Greetings Fellow Chicagoland Artists !!!   I’m just putting this out to the Universe to see who is ready, willing and wanting a Change and a Transformation.  I’m planning on moving to Slab City, CA which is an Artist Community, mixed in with Snowbirds RV’s/Campers, Tents and Freedom Seekers.  The basic gist of Slab City is that you can stake any land available for Freakin FREE  and they are miles of land available !!!!!   you can do what you want to do with it, it is off the grid living, meaning no running water, plumbing or electricity, buuuutut, technology and modern day resourcefulness are able to counter act these issues.  I’m planning on creating 70 + super large paintings and a Body Temple Transformation Center, a place to work out and transform your Body Temple, with weights and fitness equipment and a possible obstacle course (like Marine Corps Boot Camp) I want the high ropes and the pull up bars… 1st things 1st, oh yeah, Slab City has an Internet CafĂ© with coffee, and you are able to receive UPS and Fed Ex, for reg mail, you can rent a mail box at the nearest P.O. in Niland, CA if you’re interested, I’m planning on leaving Sept-Oct 2016 with either a Uhaul moving truck, or buying a used one (the cost just to rent the smallest 1 bed Uhaul truck is about $1300 plus gas, I would rather buy something and have a trailer in back or something, or we could split costs.  Let me know if you’re done paying $800 per  month plus utilities just to sleep and sit down and ready to transform your whole entire being.  For more info:  YouTube “Slab City”, there are 100’s of “Slabbers” who have their own YouTube Channel and posts 1000’s of videos….. Welcome To A New Universe….  Note:  There is no jobs or any work for money it is in the middle of the desert and nearest city is Niland, CA, look on google maps.. So, you must have either saved up money or have a monthly income of some sort in order to survive… There is no free loading or stealing, or a food pantry, you are responsible for your own food, water, shelter and survival here…. I’m just telling you what my plan and it’s up to you what you want to do once you stake out your piece of land; note: that we are all here to help and guide each other, on building a outhouse etc…. let me know if you’re in…. Namaste.

. ok, it’s posted, it’s going to take some time for it to register, I don’t know exactly when, but, it’s published, I used a few of the Slab City Pics !!!   we’ll see right…. I’m just putting it out there !!!!!  Wow !!!  it’s in motion baby !!!!   regardless I’m there…. I need to do my art !!!!!   and I need space !!!!  internet goes off and on stil, I should just expect now….. of course….. ok, let me write this down….. the plan….. I’m thinking of staying in Naperville for a year more, for me to save up and pay off my debt…. Or a good portion of it, at the same time I want to be prepared for success when I get there….. the nearest city is Bawlow, something like that, that has stores, the nearest town of slab city is Niland, CA but, it has only a Post Office and some basic misc…. ok, so the plan is to get either a Uhaul moving truck or to buy one with a trailer, or get a minivan with a trailer, depends if there are any more people willing to do the same, so we could split costs, time I go, it depends, the best time would be during the winter time where the weather would be bearable to build.  I was thinking of taking a carpenting class, to learn how to build… that could be a possibility, that would work out great, so I won’t have to pay someone else to build and I could do it myself and save $$..... that might be best… saving up for a minivan and to have a trailer in back to carry the couch and some boxes, filled with my misc….. then steak out a piece of land, I want to be far away enough where we (I) can do my own thing and close enough to the others….. I want to build something like what Charles did with East Jesus.  I feel like creating a church type deal, hunh… just a basic deal, like the Range…… or a place to praise, worship and meditate, …….  Ok…. wow, I haven’t thought that thought right there, about creating like a worship meditation sanctuary with space and land that can create and transform your bodies……  Hard Corps Transformation….. bring your tent, etc…. and transform you whole being…… hunh….. maybe have solar panels so I could have electricity, to play music and record videos etc…… humh….. this is where your whole entire being will transform……  I want to have something like a fitness circuit, pull up bar, ropes to climb and to swing up and down….. I could get some donated weights and equipment. 



January 30, 2016 Sat night 8:29pm  MMP, Naperville, IL…..

Feb, March, April, May, June, July, Aug, Sept, Oct, Nov, = 9 whole months !!!  hunh…… just brainstorming….. I’m thinking at least 1 yr or maybe even less than a year…… honestly I don’t know wtf is going to happen……. // can’t even load up a page !!!!  ok, I’m just going to write just to write some words….. I want to create my paintings !!!!!!!     Warehouse in IL is freaking crazy !!!!  min= $1000 for the amount of space I want……. ya-no !!!!  oh yeah, today’s Saturday…. After some words here, I’m going to work on my assignments that’s due tomorrow night ….. I went to College of DuPage…. This Morning, slept over mom’s house last night after the zumba class….. because I needed to return and get some new books for my new class….hunh…. I’m having some thoughts… about Slab City… and also possibly getting some very cheap land and just go there to set up shop…… Yeah, even though it’s FREE…… I would rather pay $1000 for a few acres and to do my own deal, yell, scream, have dance festivals ???   ahhhh…. We’ll see about that, I don’t know just yet….. yeah, even though it’s free, there is people there !!!!   I don’t know I just want to be alone to do my artwork and to get in shape……..  where the nearby area, the thing is it has to be warm….. I’m thinking either NV or near Joshua Tree or other main Festivals…. Ok, how bout this….. just stay and make the best of where I’m at now… and to just write everything down, all the ideas, all the possible plans, etc….. I want the stair bridge deal, I saw something in the movie Iron, that one split second inside the gym there was a big ass steal stair bridge… wow !!!  that would be super cool for cardio baby !!!!   I also wanted a Marine Corps pull up bar and some ropes, humnh……. We’ll see…. I was watching some of the Slab City YouTube Videos……. //  I an idea that I had was spending 9 more months here in Naperville, IL, getting a moving truck an extended cargo van and packing up the van or truck with all of my misc from my apartment and just setting up shop in Slab City, CA….. where I can have as much space as I want and need for me to create all of the paintings that I’d ever want to create….without paying anything….. for the use of the land… I just need space !!!!   for me to create my paintings… and this is where I was searching and eventually cross paths (online) with Slab City….. stake your claim and build your home and your vision on what you want to do with it….. Slab City, is very popular, well, kind of, one of the videos, someone said, at least a thousand people tourists go see Salvation Mountain, so it’s like a tourist attraction….. maybe I can set up my space near (within reason) not super close, but, close to East Jesus.   We’re on the same wave length…. And we could collaborate with each other… I want big paintings with an exercise equipment component focusing on the Body Temple Transformation……


February 2,  2016  Tues MMP, Naperville, IL  5:18pm

Wheewwww…… Today is Tuesday !!!!   got to do my assignments and to turn them in before 12midnight tonight, like Cinderella !!!!   I just wanted to write before I start on that….. very windy, chilly, rainy…. Good hot coffee weather….. I lost my Motorala Razor Flip phone, no biggie….. only person I use it is for confirming with ma whether or not I wanting a ride to Zumba !!!  and that’s about it… yeah, it’s about time to upgrade !!!!   and that’s what I did !!!!  not much at all !!!!   since I get a Free Gov Phone with time, (not a lot of time) just enough time to order pizza’s and call mom…. Letting her know I’m on the train…. All very good … I’m just going to focus on the now, right now…. not searching for buses, cargo vans or moving vans, I know I’m not ready right this second…… I’m thinking about claiming a piece of land in Slab City…. And creating my art super studio…… and to create a fitness obstacle course, like a stair bridge……..// I’m done with the very low internet connection….. once I get the new phone, oh yeah, it’s an iPhone !!!!!!    Generation 4….. not the latest, but shit, I had the 1995 Razor Flip Phone…… so I should be getting that this week….. all very good….. yeah, I wasn’t worried about it at all… it was time to upgrade, I didn’t even bother to look for it, mom wanted for us to go back and take a look on where I could possibly lost it, I believe it was from my pants, every time I sit down everything falls out of the pockets and since I sat on some couches, I didn’t hear anything…. I don’t know, I didn’t want to go after it…. I know something better is coming…. Whenever I lose something, something better is on its way…… well, I’m on the 2nd week into my last week !!!!  I don’t know if I’ll be moving when I graduate…. I think I should take advantage, on what I already have…… local gyms, I want a small go around the neighborhood car ……. So I could move around….. I know I have the Free Ride Pass……yeah, I’m done checking…. Hunh…… I would like to create something like that, a place where I can create my large pieces of artwork….and to create a transformation center….. aka a gym and an obstacle course, have the seats of the bus as obstacles, like what the track runners jump over, hurdles !!!  and if you’re not 100% able to jump over the bus seats, the seats are padded, so it won’t hurt that much……..I know I want to be a lil bit secluded….. , that’s why I’m thinking about getting a bus, so I could gut it out and create a homestead, with a wooden stove or a small kitchen it’s going to be a work in progress, bottom line, is that I want to travel the U.S. a bit, so the bus or cargo van will be used as a home base, where I could secure and hold my stuff, so I don’t have to drive with everything I have in the minivan, I’m planning on getting a minivan…. Ok, I’m just brainstorming now…… I’m thinking at least another year or two here in Naperville, IL…. Shit, I do have a sweet deal right now….. and I don’t want to readily give it all up right now….. then I think about my health…. What am I going to do ????  ok, I’m just thinking outloud right now…… ok, after the 1-2 years here, maybe ? maybe not ??? ok, let’s just go with it, I’m able to save some money to get a cheap cargo van to get my stuff there to Slab City…… I don’t know, it’s a mixture of everyone there !!!!  the Free Spirits, the Drug Addicts, the RV’rs Snow Birds, the run aways, everybody really, like a culdron filled with every type of misfits and black sheep…… I want to make this as a home base…….. during the winter time, paint and work out and during the summer time, work out and travel…… , yeah, I haven’t experienced it…. // just got a warm up on my coffee….. all good now….. it’s 6:03pm now…. hunh, ok, during the time I’m here, is to save, pay off my debt, and get a P-T job, I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen, I do want to finish up my Accounting Deal….. I just like it…. I don’t know, since, now, I can learn and use it better…… with my finances….. // yeah, just tried to upload some webistes, I was trying to google, “Making Weights with pipes and cement”, and the other was on craigslist, there is a city 11 miles away from Niland, CA which is where Slab City is…. That is like the largest city in the area, where you can get supplies and there is a Walmart !!!!  I’m trying to get ideas on creating the gym, without spending $$ on Hammer equipment, but, I would like to have it without paying thousands of dollars, work out equip is very experience…… I want to create something like Venice Golds “Outdoor” Gym////   I just had a thought about taking out the motor from the bus and used for weights !!!!!   I know I’m going to have to laydown some concrete, maybe I can do it ???  on my own, or have someone professionally lay down some concrete so we could use for a gym….we’ll have everying !!!!  ha… that would pretty cool….. making a make shift gym, with home made weights, bars, benches, etc…… leg machines…. Hunh…. Ok, this is what I’m thinking getting a cheap cargo van load up the apt and go stake out my land in Slab City.// I just googled mapped Inland Cir Naperville, IL to Niland, CA !!!  check that out, Slab City is in Niland and I live on Inland !!!!   how funny is that ???   30 hour drive about 2,000 miles, I got 3 different routes, that’s the average…… one on I-80, I-40 and another back roads route…. Niland, CA I’m thinking of going the southern route…… hunh, ok, that was it, I’m done waiting, waiting, waiting !!!!!   for the website to load up….. ok,  now where was I ???   ok, after 1-2 yrs, get a cargo van load up van, with everything, I just need it to make it for 2,000 miles… the southern route, no mountains !!!  yeah, I think my Saturn didn’t like them Rocky mountains !!!  4 cyl during kind of winter…. It was  bit chilly, but, once you got out you’re all good….. I forgot when I drove to Huntington Beach, CA a few years ago, all good, I just had to go…. It was crazy, I remember it took a day just to get out of the Chicagoland area, I got lost at night and was going in circles !!!  haa…. It always feels great getting out of the Chicagoland area…… and yet I keep on trying every 5 min to check on the page that I’m trying to load up…. Ok, yeah, let’s just focus on the assignments right now…. I ‘m warmed up now….. thank You…. We’ll continue… oh, yeah, well let’s get this down, ok, cargo van loaded up with everything I have in the apartment, go to Slab City, stake out my claim (land) unload, mark with posts and string, I do want to very large piece of land and far away enough where I can scream and be loud….. I will unload the misc….. get some tarp for protection, the first couple months, sleep in a tent until I get a long retired bus…. A long bus that doesn’t work anymore and have it towed to the spot…..  and gut it out….  And create my creation  !!!!!   use the cargo van as a supply chain for water, supplies, wood, misc…. big things…. Maybe have one of the Full-Timers take care of it during my travels…… and then during the winter time, work on my claim, artwork, Body-Temple Transformation Center….  Create a home out of the bus and create some big ass art !!!!!    ok, it’s 7:03pm now, and it’s time to take care of my assignments……. Be back later, Namaste !!!!! 




February 6, 2016  Sat 11:52am  MMP  Naperville, IL

The first week of February, haa, I’m learning on how to spell February,  FEBR, I got tired of misspelling Feburary, that is how I usually spell Feb…. ok, just a lil bit of misc….. I don’t know what it is, I’ve been feeling like in a funk…. I don’t know what to do !!!  I’m about to finish the last and final class for my BA….. I know that the org that I work with wants me to get out into the real world and work so that I could eventually leave the nest…. I don’t know what to do ???  should I just pack up and go to Slap City ???  then I saw that Slab City was getting polluted water by the water service business in the area, and that really made me think, see, in Slab City, yes, it’s free, but, it’s at your own risk, entering and living there, and I noticed that they are patches of land for cheap, like $1000 for an acre or two, that I could do the same thing except I would be out… got some beef patties on the George Foreman Grill… brb…ok, I’m back at 12:52pm…… I think I’m done here, I just feel like disappearing for a long while, yeah, I’ve been thinking of just putting everything I have into Uhaul truck and going to the a patch of land that I bought, dropping it off, setting up a home base, where I can store my misc……  where it’s secluded and safe….. I’m about to graduate with the BA very soon, and I’m just done….. done with this off and on internet connection !!!  I was trying to watch Tim Ferris and Rolph Potts interview, mom, told me about it, seems interesting but, cannot receive a full good connection for me to watch it without interruption… I don’t know what to do right now…… get a full-time job,,….. I’m thinking about applying to the Art Institute Job…… hunh, which I should at least apply for….. the job is an art handlers job….  Handling very expensive pieces of artwork… which I had tremendous amount of experience…. How ???  you say ???  I’ve handled MY Pieces of artwork !!!!!    maybe do that for 2 yrs ???  or 1 yr, so I could be debt free……  and save for a “cool minivan”….. updated, looks nice, blends in with rest of working society….. I’ve been down for a bit, I don’t know what it is !!!!  I just want to go away and get fit ! !!!!  this past 2 weeks, the first week was looking at cargo vans and box trucks and former moving trucks, or getting a bus in the area of the land and just parking there !!!  kind of like the “Into the wild” movie…. Having a gutted out bus, in the middle of nowhere and use it for shelter…… //  after I heard about the water misc at Slab City…. I was like shit !!!  Nope, since I know that water is what I would’ve been drinking in gallons, and working on my fitness….. yeah…. I want t be able to have a place, where it’s somewhat accessible to the world, like a Home Depot, a traveling water refiller, where they go to secluded areas to fill up the water tanks that can be trusted and not to have a Joe-Smo driving around with a  water tank knowing that the water is not filtered or regulated…. Yeah, that was the deciding decision of me not going to Slab City…. I was pretty psyched….. but, shit if the main source of water is not safe….. it’s not worth your life….. ok, this is what I’m thinking…….  Stay here, save and pay off debts… get a job that I like…  pay off debts !!!!   save up for some land and a van and then bounce……. // can’t even google !!!  haaaa….. yeah, I’m done with waiting……. I was about to see the Art Institute of Chicago’s job website again, to get more info…. There is a mandatory test that I have to take…. Before even considering for the job…. Or even before applying….. I’m thinking it’s a past thievery test……. And psychology test…..  you know what, I’m about done in 22 days !!!!  I can do that M-F, 8a-5p…. I can walk down to Michigan Ave. to the Art Institute…… I want to at least apply and take it from there….. so, I know that I’ll be here in the area…. For a lil bit….. , I did check up on the other art handling job at the MCA, it was gone….. and I tried to find out jobs at Todd something company….. an art handling and shipping company, I couldn’t find any links….. something is fishy…… I could find it before and not now…. then I googled the company name and jobs, and then I saw some articles about the art handlers wanting to become a union….. oh  boy…… getting greedy are we ???   at the same time I want to focus on my body !!!!  and to be able to go to the forest preserves on walks….. I want a portable car !!!!!  I don’t know what it is…. My whole being is craving more and more !!!!!    then what if I get the NPS job that I applied for on Dec 2nd !!!! 2015 !!!!   I’m just done with the whole thing !!!!  I’m thinking 1 more year…. Since I have a Ride-Freakin-Free Pass Metra-Pace- and the CTA !!!!!!!!  and they just raised the prices !!!!   now it’s about $7-8 one way to Chicago, $2.75-$3 for a bus and CTA (L-Train) one trip, you could spend about $15-$20 per day roundtrip… maybe even more….  On Sunday’s I want to go to a Yoga Church…. Something like that….. they have yoga services a few times on Sundays’, I would go to all of them….. hunh… that’s an Idea, I can use this to my advantage…….  Like taking a stand up comedy class !!!  which I would love to do and check out…. It starts in April….. I’m going to do it…. classes is on Sundays……  this is what I’ve always wanted to do, make people laugh…… // and also the Temple of Kriya Yoga….. they have times Sunday’s, which might conflict with the classes….. or maybe just have a P-T job, and continue to go to school at COD…… I want to finish up the Managerial Accounting, yeah, that would be best, they want my ass working something !!!!   rather than nothing, I know, I can see that….. should I work full-time ???   we’ll see, I did check out the job available for an Art Installations / Installer…. I will apply for it….. I just registered when I checked out the job again….. so at least I have some type of movement going on…. Well, today, the bottom line is to Respond to my fellow classmates online and to submit my paper….. that is due Sunday 12midnight tomorrow, but, it’s Super Bowl Sunday !!!  and I’m planning on going to “Draft Picks”, for the festivals….. I’ll be going alone, they have a super bowl special for $50 bucks…… all you can drink and all you can eat,  is this a good idea ???   we’ll see….. the last time I drank was last years Super Bowl at the same place, but, different businesses… it used to be Rancheros and now it’s Draft Picks….  Looks super nice….. I haven’t been in there yet, I did once they were doing construction…… I asked if they needed Security or a Doorman…. ??  he said, check back later…. It’s  a low key, non-drama  place, so I never pursued it…… all good….. ok, for today, I want to finish up the paper !!!!  and the responses I have to respond twice for each Discussion and there is 2 Discussions, so technically, respond twice to each discussion and also respond to the instructors class question/s….. I do feel better, I really want a scooter or something where I can go to the forest preserves…. Like today, it’s a gorgeous day, and we had a very mild winter…….  It only snowed maybe one big time, kind of, it all melted a week later….. I still would like a snow blizzard…… ok,  let’s just focus on the now !!!!  right now,  now, meaning, my assignments for the last class for my BA…… aaaahhhhhh…. I cannot wait….. Oh yeah, I did check my grade for the previous class, I got a B !!!!!!   Yes, I wanted an A, the instructor was pretty bad ass…. Wants a lot, considering that all of us, supposed to have full-time jobs…..  I did my best… and I got a B ! !!!!  ahhhh….. that was a relief, now it’s MGT-264 Increasing Performance, an HR related class….. I thought it would be a fun and somewhat easier class than Econ-101 !!!  oh snap…. I’m so glad that class is done and over with and that I got refused for a $23,000 van….. whewww… that was too close….. I was there, ready to sign my life of never ending debt away……  ready to tack on another $23,000 worth of debt…… plus the extra financing fees…… right now I have $26,000 in student loan debt……. Thank You Lord !!!!  yeah, I though I failed the Econ-101 class and wanted to go away and leave, thus rode my bike to the Honda Dealership, spent about 3 hours, paperwork, tour of the place and a drive in the van…… It drove like a cloud in heaven !!!!  then, the result, nope, they wouldn’t finance me…..  because of the gas bill which I didn’t know about and the $26,000 student loan debt that I never made a payment on !!!   I think it was that !!!!   for almost 10 yrs I never made  a payment ???   yeah, that looks kinda suspicioius, luckily the GMC truck issue wasn’t on there….. I stopped making payments towards the GMC truck that I had taken hostage, they (repossessers) were looking for me big time !!!!  never could find me…. Whewww… that was super close…..  I heard from family that they came over to try to find me and was getting phone calls, on trying to locate me…. No one told anything….. so after 7 years your credit is cleared again…. If you had any payment issues…… // I don’t know what to do…. I just want a small car, so I could go to the Forest Preserves, Roller Skating at Orbit, Yoga, Chi-Ka-Go, etc…….  I can do that with the Ride Free card…. I just want to be free !!!!!   I want to go to Jakked Hardcore Gym !!!!!!!   fuck, it’s been like 3 yrs !!!!  since I’ve wanted to work out there !!!!   maybe in the summertime ???!!!!  since I have a metra card and a pretty nice bike, that I can ride to from the Aurora Train Station, Jakked Hardcore Gym is only about 3 miles away from the station… in Montgomery, IL……. I’m just done with my pathetic life !!!!!   oh yeah, guess what, I got my Motoral Razor Flip-phone back, I lost it last Saturday…. At College of DuPage, and mom, after her class went to the lost in found to check and see if anyone turned it in…. I was with mom, last Saturday….. and lost it somewhere, she told me that someone just turned it in yesterday !!!!  well, it’s kind of too late, I already bought an upgrade cell phone.. ….. an iPhone 4, now the latest is 6 +…. So, it’s a few years old… compared to my flip phone razor like 10 yrs old, I believe !!!!  ok, internet is going down under….. .let’s do the assignments already !!!!   so today, just focus on today !!!!!   Focus on what’s in front of you !!!!!!   dang, this would be a nice cruise on the // I have no idea what I was going to say, I must of got the re-heated coffee or checked online…… I was searching online, for a space for road travelers, hunh, I was just online, looking at the REI website……. I can get a job there !!!!   environment that I love !!!!    hunh….. it’s either that or the art institute job….. hunh, honestly, the REI job trumps the art installation ???  I don’t know….. Most likely will aplly for both, to see which one will do me…… with the REI, I know that just getting there on a Sat and a Sun, will be an issue, since it’s a “Retail” company….. where most people come in during the weekends not during the weekday…. So, we’ll see…. I don’t know, what’s going to happen….. what I do know is that to focus to what’s in front of you…… focus on what’s happening today and now…… it’s 3:34pm now….. day is almost over !!!  and I’m still writing here with my cooling off coffee….. ok, so this is the plan for today…… do everything for this week, week 2…….  Lately I’ve been thinking about S, (secret name, may not start with the letter S—fyi), I actually had a dream with her, we were just hugging each other, I know, hunh !!!!!   it would be a pretty crazy story !!!!!   how we connected after all of these decades !!!!!   well, just a few….  Hunh…. At the same time, I do want to re-connect or at least say hi, but, I know I’m not where I want to be…. I’m still under construction…. , hunh… maybe focus on getting a “Real-Full time job and focus on paying off that debt….. before I go anywhere, I want that debt to be Free !!!  Free from anyone and anything…….. so, maybe I’ll go for the F-T job in Chicago…. At the art institute, I sort of want to hurry up and apply online, so I could hurry and forget about it, like the Kwaj-Atall Island Job and the NPS job !!!!  just assume that  you’re not going to get it and pretend that you’re not ever going to get it… just forget about it, like the lottery !!!!!   just play the job/resume game like the lottery, yes, it would be nice, but it is very unlikely to get it…… just have that type of mentality and you won’t be disappointed…. I know it’s tough, not seeing shit for months, after you applied….. like the NPS, job, in Nageezi, NM….. that would’ve been a good 1st job, shit for $39,000 per year !!!!  I haven’t made anything that close in my whole entire life !!!!   Hunh….. just continue to seek, I guess, seek and try, seek and try and to get so attached to a particular “Dream Job”….. honestly I just want a real job so I could 1st get out of debt asap !!!  2nd. Invest for retirement, I have a lot of catching up to do, 3rd. Expand on my passions, get the tools and the equipment of the trade, eg:  professional camera, latest Apple Pro Laptop for photography, video and DJ’ing…. I don’t know if I need to have separate Laptops for DJ’ing and phot’s & video….. ??  I want the latest latest, top of the line at the current time, DJ equipment with speakers, wires, etc…… lights, Roller skates, I want top of the line wheels and have lights installed…. , I can be an acre of secluded land in the area, to create a home base for all of the big stuff, I’m thinking possibly working 5 yrs +…….  That would be ideal….. ok, let’s say $34,000 take home real job pay, $34g x 5 yrs = $170g  ,  that’ll be a good enough investment…… // hunh, that’ll be great, ok, shit, I think I should write to my fellow NPS Ranger, that I met at the Travel and Adventure Show…… he was a “Hiring Agent and a NPS Ranger” !!!!  I told him what had happened, and asked him all these ?’s about hair, top of head hair and beard facial hair and my over weightness, yeah, I know I’m overweight right now, aka FAT !!!!   hey, it is what it is…… hunh….. how about this, let’s focus on getting a “Real Job” with interviews and getting suits that fit !!!! and getting into shape….. and looking good, appearance…. That’s the goal right now, so, I want to get the teeth whitening… deal, that sounds better, getting a real job that I could catch up with…… catch up meaning investing for retirement…. Key deal is to get debt free asap… and this would be the best way, get my onine presence under wraps…. I tried on my old very low connection laptop about changing the name of my YouTube Channel…. It would not go through…. Just google my “Real Name” and you’ll see A lot of everything !!!  honestly I should’ve used an alias early on and not my real name…… hey, we learn someway…… and somehow, with time….. you don’t know what’s going to happen in the future… that’s why I deactivated my FB’s, 1st and 2nd and now I’m using an alias one….. just to be in the know….. like events and hours of certain businesses, like the barber shop I’m going to tomorrow….I’m going to get “Cleaned” up, make it popp… my neck, face and beard…. Keep, nice, kept, clean, and lined up …… yeah, it’s been way too long, I don’t think I “cleaned” up since about shit, dang, could it be that long ???   4-5 months ago,,,  well, since I know that that is zero chance of me attracting a lady, I just let it go and grow, and I’m not attentive to my appearance…. I know it’s pretty sad, I already know I’m not going to attract a nice beautiful lady, so why even try…. So why even look nice…. I know it’s a negative mind frame….. I just make sure that I don’t attract anyone !!!!  that is what I’m really doing… hey, tomorrow is the day, plus, I’ll be going to see the Super Bowl and the local bar, which is about 500 feet away !!!!  I haven’t been there since it opened…. The business before, I went there to see the Super Bowl…. I wanted to see the Super Bowl and at that time, I was looking at HD TV’s at Meijer’s, I had to get some extra shit, then I said, just watch it at “Ranchero’s” the business before Draft Picks…..  I had a good time, I did drink, but, shit, one time a year, drinking, I think that is very good !!!!  the only time I get to act and be a man is on Super Bowl Sunday……. Ok, I feel better now, bottom line is that I want out now !!!!!  Out with a real job….. so the game plan is to be on the “Real Job” hunt, to go to the DuPage Job Center, practice my interviewing skills and phone interviewing skills….. I want that Gov Job NOW !!!!!!!    going to have a smoke break… now… yes, I know, don’t judge now….. everything is one and one is Awesome !!!!   okaaay ????

 February 8, 2016 Mon 12:19pm MMP Naperville, IL


It’s 8:20pm now, I thought I was going to write some words earlier while I was waiting for the pizza delivery guy, yes, I drank some beers yesterday during the 50th Anniversary Super Bowl….. It was a planned drinking session, met some friendly people and I did had a great time, except for the day after.  I was hurting bad, I felt like super shit and didn’t do anything, I knew I had to flush out the system and get rid of the hangover….. I haven’t drank, I believe since last years superbowl !!!  yeah, that long, and my body did not like the after effects of last evenings drinking…. Nothing illegal happened, and I got home safe and sound, the sports bar is literally about 500 feet away….. I did had a great time, but, the day after, fuuuuuuck, it sucked big time, I’m on the tail end of the hangover, so I feel much better, after some post-hangover pizza and some Coke and water and coffee and after trying to nap off the hangover, after the pizza arrived and ate half of the pizza in one setting, I laid down on the couch for a nap… Trying to nap off the hangover, boy, I felt like shit big time….. then I said to myself, “I should’ve went to the gym to watch the Super Bowl” !!!   just walking on the treadmill and watching the game, drinking water…… next time, I’ll do that, it’s not worth it for the day after, I felt sorry for the people who had to go to work the next morning….. So, I’m feeling much better but, not 100%.... but,  still a lot better for me to write here….. also, I’m not expecting to have internet anymore, it should be off, either the 9th or 10th of this month… I got the monthly plan, just for one month, for my class and because of the bitter cold weather, of going outside, going to the library, McD’s or at the college…… So the plan for tonight is to write some words here and to clean up house…. I have a feeling that my case worker is going to stop by to do the inspection, even though we have made an appt for the 10th, she’s going to stop and see my neighbor below me… just in case….. so that’s the plan for tonight…. Also for the morning I’m going to be going to the library to print out all of this weeks assignments and if I have time to start applying…. I really would love to get a job at Kwajalein Atoll, honestly I don’t care what I’m doing, there is a librarian position and a custodian lead (janitor position) yeah, I don’t care what I’m doing… I just want to get something there for 2 years…..  in the cover letter, I’m going to express my strong desire of becoming part of the team there and I’m willing to sign a 3 yr contract…. That is how much I would like work there…. That would be awesome !!!!  I just want in and I don’t care what I’m doing really, with a  24 hr gym, 24hr Olympic poos, basketball, volleyball, sailing, fishing…. It’s like a Club Med, really….. so, even though I still have 3 weeks left, I really want to get the ball rolling….. that would be my #1 choice…. Because if I get a job with NPS.gov it would be a somewhat of a lifetime job….. just save, save, save, save, get some passion toys, like DJ equipment, top of the line photo camera, video camera, etc…… and I can possibly transfer to another Park after 5 years….hunh, we’ll see…. At the same time I want to go visit papi in Chile….. what I think will happen after I graduate is to make getting a real job a full-time job and also working on my Body Temple…… honestly I don’t want to pay 1/3 of what I’m making, when I absolutely don’t have to.  For example if I get a basic, now job for $9 an hour, x 40 = $360 x 4 = $1440 per month  income w/o taxes, let’s say it’s a take home pay of $1100 per month divide by 1/3 = $367 ;  $1100 (take home pay) – (minus) $367 (1/3 of pay) = $733 take home pay after paying 1/3 of income…. So that means….. $733 divide by 4 (4 weeks in a month) = $183;  $183 divide by 40 hours per week = $4.58 an hour !!!!   I would be making $4.58 an hour !!!!!!!  Nope not going to happen, not especially now since I know what exactly I’ll be making “take home” after taxes and after 1/3 of take home income…. I would be making $4.58 an hour !!!!  Oh Helllzz No !!!!  I would rather spend the time of getting a “Real Job” a gov job or the kwaj job, any job that I would have to move and travel to and to get out of the system…. That is thee plan…… if they want to know what I’m doing and to track my hours, I’ll keep a log, on how many applications I had submitted, the interview and job classes I’m taking at the employment / DuPage Job Center I don’t know the exact name but, it’s a place to help you get a “Real Job” with a million dollar corporation or government agency….. also, I want to also focus on my Body Temple and speaking with Toastmasters…… I wonder if there is a Toastmasters Club on the Kwaj…… So, this is it….. I’m like at the tail end of my BA Journey !!!!!   // cool it’s snowing right now……  for some reason I just love it when it snows…. .it’s not a huge storm or anything but, enough to have a white coating…… so that’s the GP (game plan)   make sure I complete and finish up all of the assignments for the last class !!!!   Wow !!!!!    The Last Class !!!!   What would be ideal would be for me to take the 2 yrs commitment, where I don’t have to worry about a car, car insurance, work for 2-3 yrs, get debt free…. And invest and catch up…… get a minivan or a minivan / SUV hybrid….. like the Dodge Journey…… which I saw the other day…. From afar it looks like a minivan and then I saw it up close and it has a pretty high wheel base….. I’m going to have to privatize my YouTube…. That shit takes some time, considering that I have 1,000 plus videos……  I’m going to have to this asap, because I know that they will do the mandatory Google check….  Have you Googled yourself lately…….   That LinkedIn where I posted all of my goals, I’m going to have to find the username and password for that, I put that up in 2009 or so……  very outdated…. And very false…..  My goal at that time was to become a CPA and so I put that down…. I don’t know if I had disclosed that or not, that this is my current plan and goals…..  also for the Kwaj job, I’m going to have to get a Security Clearance…..  sheeesh I don’t know what that will entail ??   just go for it…. and do it…..  just apply like no other, 1st come 1st serve…..  I do want to let the Kwaj jobs know that I would love to work there, but at the same time, I’m going for the whole shabang……. .Gov Job Search, time is now…..  I want out, I need to explore the world and I need to get out of debt asap !!!!   NOW !!!!!   this has first priority…..ok, for tonight, I’m just going to org and put away all of the big stuff, org up the bedroom and bathroom and tomorrow, do the cleaning portion….. it’s 9:20pm… now….. let’s do this, just in case the case worker decides to do a surprise knock on the door in the morning…. Even though we did have an appt for the 10th…… , it’s always good to be prepared than not prepared…. Like um, I thought you were going to come tomorrow ???  yikes, well it’s not like I live like a hoarder, but a single male bachelor not really picky if I clean up after myself…..   I just have to make it look pretty…… and the plan is to go the Naperville Library….. to do my assignments, yeah, I think my month of internet has expired…. I’m not able to get a connection at all…. Nothing…….. so, that’s it, I have to go to the library tomorrow…… or maybe at college….  I just want to do my thing and get out….. I’m going to have to do the assignments first on MicroSoft Word and then copy n paste it when I have internet or at the library’s pc’s…..  All good….. yeah, weather is getting somewhat milder…. Yeah, what really prompted to buy the internet for a month was the 10-20 below degree weather…… yeah, I’m going to have to ballistic with the Real Job Search !!!!!  That’s the game plan, all out, with the Kwaj jobs, NPS.gov jobs, and the Dept. of Interior, Forest Jobs….. etc……. I’m going to have to GO ALL OUT !!!!!!     and try not to get attached to a certain job and location !!!  I know which is tough when you only applied for 2 jobs !!!!!!   One before Dec 2nd 2015 for the Painting Job and one on Dec 2nd 2015 for the NPS as a Park Ranger….. I know I’m going to have to do more than that !!!!!  and to practice my interviewing skills…… at the DuPage Job Center….. I have a feeling I’m going to be there quite often, like a real job !!!!   Master my interviewing skills, have practice phone interviews… etc…..   ok, 30 more minutes till big thingy put away session and clothes, just putting away all the misc…. is the main goal and to actually clean and wash dishes in the morning, I’m just going to pretend that she is actually coming over, that’s how I will make sure I get it done, I was planning on cleaning and organizing the place earlier this week….. whewww… ok, the hangover is on fumes….. just a little hazy still…. My head was just like shit….. felt like shit, yeah, that was it…… next Super Bowl will be at the gym on the treadmill drinking water !!!!  or maybe I’ll be in Yellowstone ???  or Nageezi, NM  let’s do this already !!!  I’m done barely breathing mode !!!!   I want to take care of the $$ equation already…..  1st becoming debt free…… which will take within a year, with a “Real Job”…. Then invest, invest, invest, for the 1st 5 years…… then gradual ease off with the investing to a 30% per year, versus 95% of take home income going towards investing….  It totally depends on how much the job pays, also with the necessities, like apartment, transportation, if I will have a dorm or a “Free” apartment with a truck etc…. that’s why I want the Kwaj job, I don’t need a car, no insurance, no misc fees etc…. gas, etc….. and you get a free apartment, yeah, I’m afraid I can’t expect anything, just pretend that it’s like the lottery !!!!   not to expect anything but, play a lot !!!!   at least it won’t cost me any money to play the Real Job Lottery……. Also, I know I’m going to have to mentally and gradually start letting things go, shit I have a full sea bag filled with my “Skinny In-Shape” shorts and shirts……  I wanted to give it away to my nephews….   We’ll see, also the books, for the books, I know I would want to take at least about 10 or so books and what about the others…….. the other’s I got an idea, to do summaries of the books…… type up all the golden nuggets of the books and create another blog, and just copy n paste it unto the blog and eventually give away or sell or have them babysat ……. Or cared for until my job time is up……. Yeah, I have to do this now….. while I still can and able !!!!    I’m looking forward for some warmer weather too !!!!   I thought about working for REI, but, the getting there part during the weekends, I know will be an issue….. ok, that’s the plan, in 3 weeks, once I completed the last class, oh snap, that would be an Amazing Feeling !!!!  haaaa…. Even though I could’ve had it back in 2010, without having to take 3 extra classes and actually paying for them and the books !!!!  $850 was the 1st one, $450 was the 2nd one and another $450 for the last and this not including books !!!!  so that’s about almost $2000 !!!!!!   ok, after the BA, the last day is February 28, 2016….. less than 3 weeks !!!!!  I’m soo looking forward to that day !!!!!   at the same time I do want to get the ball rolling with the Real Job, but, after making sure all of the assignments are completed.  Ok, after the BA….. the whole goal is to get a Real Job asap….. I feel I should focus on the Gov Job route versus trying to get a job with a subcontractor that is a 3rd party from the government, I’ll do Guam, Pueto Rico, I’m hearing some not so good things about Puerto Rico…. That everyone is coming to the main land…. That it’s bankrupt and there is no jobs, no services, or spiraling downward….. I know for each job, I will have to create a new customized cover letter for that particular job, that will be the most time consuming part of the job search…. Customizing the cover letter…..  ok it’s about that time, I feel much, much better now !!!!!    let’s do this…. I might be back, or make a video once I’m done….. Infinite Love and Gratitude !!!!!!   DrWU